Are you a democrat, republican, or southern republican?
What with elections coming up, we all should decide
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southern Republians? The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down the deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answe the question!
Does the man look poor or oppresed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about his situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with killing just me, and not my family?
Does he definitly want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint-and-weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republicans Answer:
BANG!
Southern Republican Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!...click...(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!...click
Child:"Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips I gave you for your birthday??"
Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans, and Southern Republians? The answer can be found by posing the following question:
You're walking down the deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a dangerous looking man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and charges. You are carrying a Glock 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do?
Democrat's answer:
Well, that's not enough information to answe the question!
Does the man look poor or oppresed?
Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?
Could we run away?
What does my wife think?
What about the kids?
Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?
What does the law say about his situation?
Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?
Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children?
Is it possible he'd be happy with killing just me, and not my family?
Does he definitly want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?
If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me?
Should I call 9-1-1?
Why is this street so deserted?
We need to raise taxes, have a paint-and-weed day and make this a happier, healthier street that would discourage such behavior.
This is all so confusing!
I need to debate this with some friends for a few days and try to come to a consensus.
Republicans Answer:
BANG!
Southern Republican Answer:
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!...click...(sounds of reloading).
BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!
BANG!...click
Child:"Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those the Winchester Silver Tips I gave you for your birthday??"