Battlestar Galactica} The Beginning is the End
Title: The Beginning is the End
Author: spooky_xphile
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Characters: Kara Thrace, Leoben Conoy, mentions of others
Spoilers: “Revelations”. AU after that.
He’s different. No, she’s different. He had always been the same. She had changed because of him; for him? Even now, as she lay in his arms, she wasn’t sure if her mind was telling her to leave or to stay. Either way, this was to never happen. The way she felt about him would have never lead to this. Should have never led to this. She wanted to pound her head with her fists until she could forget. But no, it happened and yet she didn’t have any regrets. She should have regrets but she didn’t.
He had made her feel like she had before she had died. She was complete again. The same completeness she had felt when she had gone into that storm. He had made her feel alive. No one would understand that of Kara Thrace.
*********
She could feel him breathing underneath her head as she woke once again. The barely there sun shone its way through the ever lingering clouds. Not again, she thought as she sat up. His hand absentmindedly fell along her spine and finally to the cold ground. The movement had sent a chill down her spine that the weather hadn’t caused.
She found her shirt a little ways away and grabbed it. Hastily putting it on, she kept her eyes on the sleeping figure. What the hell were you thinking Kara Thrace? she thought as she slowly stood. She glanced about, noticing that no one was around. Making a quick exit, she went back to her tent the fastest way she could navigate. She didn't want anyone to know what she had done. It was her secret, her dirty little secret.
She lay down on her side and placed the blanket high up on her body. She felt if anyone could see any form of evidence of who she had been with, then she would be frakked. But that's all it was after all-- a quick frak. And yet it hadn't been quick at all.
She pulled her knees up to her chest as she drifted into sleep that would occupy the small remaining hours she had left. In her mind, she was reliving how everything had come to pass.
Every day, Adama and Roslin would plan out how to survive on another desolate planet. Baltar would conduct his sermons with whomever would listen besides his Nymph Squad.
The Cylons, except Caprica Six and Athena, would huddle together with their revered Final Five. Kara noticed that whenever she would pass the group. Sam would look longingly, as if he never wanted to be this way. But her eyes would not be on him or any of the others, she would walk along, not taking notice to any of them.
Except for one.
She would feel his eyes boring their way into her mind. The way his words had made a minor mark on her psyche during her imprisonment on New Caprica; his looks were killing her on Earth. His sight would follow her until she would walk out of sight and he would go back to the conversations with the others.
One night, last night to be exact, it was too much for both of them. She had walked past the group of Cylons with too much enthusiasm. She wanted to tempt Sam, to make him come back. She turned the corner of the tents and waited. She knew for sure he would be coming.
“Kara.” A voice said from the darkness. She instantly recognized it and she tensed up. He called her name again.
“What do you want?” She asked with venom in her voice.
“You came by the camp oddly. I needed to see if you were all right.” His soft voice warmed her. He stepped out of the shadow to see her in full light from the lantern she had been carrying.
“I'm fine Leoben.” She said tartly, walking past him. She felt him stop her with a hand on her arm. “What are you doing?” She asked through gritted teeth.
“God is happy with you. You led us to Earth.” He said nonchalantly, fingers stroking up and down her arm.
Kara scoffed. “I led them to a frakked up planet.” She turned to him but his eyes slowly reached her face. “Not the Earth everyone hoped for.”
His fingers traced upwards and stalled at her cheek. “No one said the journey would be a positive out of all the darkness.”
She was about to respond like she had before when she was called, “Starbuck! Wake up!” Her eyes slowly opened to see the forever marked grayish tint of the sky make its way through the thin tent. She slowly sat up, trying to remember where she was. Her tent. Not on the cold ground she had been hours earlier. Where she wanted to be.
*********
Her head pounded from each repeated hit. Of course, there were people that were a little upset about her directions. They would punch her in the arm or anywhere else as they passed. So much for a quiet run. They didn't know that she could take their abuse; other regions of her body hurt-- places they couldn't touch. It was hard for her to decipher if her thighs ached from the run or the unspoken deed she had committed with Leoben over a week ago. She would ache whenever her and Sam slept together, but never to this extent. There was something about it that made her feel comfortable to take it as punishment. The sin that she had committed outside of her marriage vows. The tattoo on her left arm had no meaning now, perhaps all it could be considered was decorative art. Like the art in her apartment on Captica.
Frak, she thought. The thought was almost automatic that she was surprised it had even happened.
The apartment-her apartment-- on Caprica had looked like it, the dollhouse on New Caprica. This time there was not any art on the walls, anything that could be identified as something that belonged to Kara Thrace. Then again, the art on the walls of the now nuked apartment probably could not be associated with her in any form. Why would anyone suspect of hard-ass Starbuck painting inside her apartment?
She hit the human camp and noticed how close they were to the Cylon camp. Adama must have not known about the schematics of that particular set-up. She hears an excited squeal behind her. Barely turning in time, she has caught someone that has become a tuft of blonde hair from how she is holding the person. The little girl looked up and Kara saw who it was-- Kacey. The girl hugged her and rested her head on her chest.
“Hey Kacey,” Kara said brightening, “What are you doing?”
Her mother came running frantically in their direction but slowed her pace when she saw Kacey was safe. “Thank you.” Julie expressed, relieved.
Kara froze. This felt too much like when the pair had come out of the Raptor after escaping New Caprica. When Kacey's mother, her real mother, took her and left Kara in the hangar bay-- upset, confused, shocked, and the unquenchable urge to kill a certain Cylon once more. But her mother didn't do anything but gaze lovingly at her daughter and the woman who was holding her.
Kacey wiggled out of her arms and ran into the Cylon camp. Immediately, the real and fake mothers followed after the little girl. They passed many copies of Sharons and Sixes. Reaching the center of the camp, a campfire was in ashes but a crowd was still around it.
Tigh and the Chief were talking with Anders about something but his attention was deviated when he noticed Kara. He stood, hoping she had come to visit him. However, he noticed that her eyes weren't directed at him. Instead, they were watching the scene that was playing out twelve feet away from him.
Tory had Kacey in her lap while the girl was being entertained by Leoben. The little girl laughed in delight at the man whom pretended to be her father during New Caprica.
“Get your frakking hands off of her, you skinjob.” Kara didn't realize her sidearm was pulled on Leoben.
“Captain, put your weapon down.” She heard Tigh say as he too stood.
Tory slowed got up but held Kacey tight in her arms. Leoben watched to see if the woman he loved would shoot him. When he thought he was safe, he gently took the little girl from Tory's arms and handed her to Julia. The entire time he never broke eye contact with Kara, and she with him.
“This is the end?” He whispered when he was close enough.
“The end.” She stated before turning her back towards Leoben and Sam, not knowing which hurt her more.
Author: spooky_xphile
Rating: PG-13
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Characters: Kara Thrace, Leoben Conoy, mentions of others
Spoilers: “Revelations”. AU after that.
He’s different. No, she’s different. He had always been the same. She had changed because of him; for him? Even now, as she lay in his arms, she wasn’t sure if her mind was telling her to leave or to stay. Either way, this was to never happen. The way she felt about him would have never lead to this. Should have never led to this. She wanted to pound her head with her fists until she could forget. But no, it happened and yet she didn’t have any regrets. She should have regrets but she didn’t.
He had made her feel like she had before she had died. She was complete again. The same completeness she had felt when she had gone into that storm. He had made her feel alive. No one would understand that of Kara Thrace.
*********
She could feel him breathing underneath her head as she woke once again. The barely there sun shone its way through the ever lingering clouds. Not again, she thought as she sat up. His hand absentmindedly fell along her spine and finally to the cold ground. The movement had sent a chill down her spine that the weather hadn’t caused.
She found her shirt a little ways away and grabbed it. Hastily putting it on, she kept her eyes on the sleeping figure. What the hell were you thinking Kara Thrace? she thought as she slowly stood. She glanced about, noticing that no one was around. Making a quick exit, she went back to her tent the fastest way she could navigate. She didn't want anyone to know what she had done. It was her secret, her dirty little secret.
She lay down on her side and placed the blanket high up on her body. She felt if anyone could see any form of evidence of who she had been with, then she would be frakked. But that's all it was after all-- a quick frak. And yet it hadn't been quick at all.
She pulled her knees up to her chest as she drifted into sleep that would occupy the small remaining hours she had left. In her mind, she was reliving how everything had come to pass.
Every day, Adama and Roslin would plan out how to survive on another desolate planet. Baltar would conduct his sermons with whomever would listen besides his Nymph Squad.
The Cylons, except Caprica Six and Athena, would huddle together with their revered Final Five. Kara noticed that whenever she would pass the group. Sam would look longingly, as if he never wanted to be this way. But her eyes would not be on him or any of the others, she would walk along, not taking notice to any of them.
Except for one.
She would feel his eyes boring their way into her mind. The way his words had made a minor mark on her psyche during her imprisonment on New Caprica; his looks were killing her on Earth. His sight would follow her until she would walk out of sight and he would go back to the conversations with the others.
One night, last night to be exact, it was too much for both of them. She had walked past the group of Cylons with too much enthusiasm. She wanted to tempt Sam, to make him come back. She turned the corner of the tents and waited. She knew for sure he would be coming.
“Kara.” A voice said from the darkness. She instantly recognized it and she tensed up. He called her name again.
“What do you want?” She asked with venom in her voice.
“You came by the camp oddly. I needed to see if you were all right.” His soft voice warmed her. He stepped out of the shadow to see her in full light from the lantern she had been carrying.
“I'm fine Leoben.” She said tartly, walking past him. She felt him stop her with a hand on her arm. “What are you doing?” She asked through gritted teeth.
“God is happy with you. You led us to Earth.” He said nonchalantly, fingers stroking up and down her arm.
Kara scoffed. “I led them to a frakked up planet.” She turned to him but his eyes slowly reached her face. “Not the Earth everyone hoped for.”
His fingers traced upwards and stalled at her cheek. “No one said the journey would be a positive out of all the darkness.”
She was about to respond like she had before when she was called, “Starbuck! Wake up!” Her eyes slowly opened to see the forever marked grayish tint of the sky make its way through the thin tent. She slowly sat up, trying to remember where she was. Her tent. Not on the cold ground she had been hours earlier. Where she wanted to be.
*********
Her head pounded from each repeated hit. Of course, there were people that were a little upset about her directions. They would punch her in the arm or anywhere else as they passed. So much for a quiet run. They didn't know that she could take their abuse; other regions of her body hurt-- places they couldn't touch. It was hard for her to decipher if her thighs ached from the run or the unspoken deed she had committed with Leoben over a week ago. She would ache whenever her and Sam slept together, but never to this extent. There was something about it that made her feel comfortable to take it as punishment. The sin that she had committed outside of her marriage vows. The tattoo on her left arm had no meaning now, perhaps all it could be considered was decorative art. Like the art in her apartment on Captica.
Frak, she thought. The thought was almost automatic that she was surprised it had even happened.
The apartment-her apartment-- on Caprica had looked like it, the dollhouse on New Caprica. This time there was not any art on the walls, anything that could be identified as something that belonged to Kara Thrace. Then again, the art on the walls of the now nuked apartment probably could not be associated with her in any form. Why would anyone suspect of hard-ass Starbuck painting inside her apartment?
She hit the human camp and noticed how close they were to the Cylon camp. Adama must have not known about the schematics of that particular set-up. She hears an excited squeal behind her. Barely turning in time, she has caught someone that has become a tuft of blonde hair from how she is holding the person. The little girl looked up and Kara saw who it was-- Kacey. The girl hugged her and rested her head on her chest.
“Hey Kacey,” Kara said brightening, “What are you doing?”
Her mother came running frantically in their direction but slowed her pace when she saw Kacey was safe. “Thank you.” Julie expressed, relieved.
Kara froze. This felt too much like when the pair had come out of the Raptor after escaping New Caprica. When Kacey's mother, her real mother, took her and left Kara in the hangar bay-- upset, confused, shocked, and the unquenchable urge to kill a certain Cylon once more. But her mother didn't do anything but gaze lovingly at her daughter and the woman who was holding her.
Kacey wiggled out of her arms and ran into the Cylon camp. Immediately, the real and fake mothers followed after the little girl. They passed many copies of Sharons and Sixes. Reaching the center of the camp, a campfire was in ashes but a crowd was still around it.
Tigh and the Chief were talking with Anders about something but his attention was deviated when he noticed Kara. He stood, hoping she had come to visit him. However, he noticed that her eyes weren't directed at him. Instead, they were watching the scene that was playing out twelve feet away from him.
Tory had Kacey in her lap while the girl was being entertained by Leoben. The little girl laughed in delight at the man whom pretended to be her father during New Caprica.
“Get your frakking hands off of her, you skinjob.” Kara didn't realize her sidearm was pulled on Leoben.
“Captain, put your weapon down.” She heard Tigh say as he too stood.
Tory slowed got up but held Kacey tight in her arms. Leoben watched to see if the woman he loved would shoot him. When he thought he was safe, he gently took the little girl from Tory's arms and handed her to Julia. The entire time he never broke eye contact with Kara, and she with him.
“This is the end?” He whispered when he was close enough.
“The end.” She stated before turning her back towards Leoben and Sam, not knowing which hurt her more.