So many less minutes.

[omnify]

I thought I'd write something a bit more...serious? I don't know. I'm not really one for thinking 'this is a milestone, I must...do something about it etc etc maybe I'll write down my thoughts...' I'm not making much sense, am I? However, I shall give this a go, even though I'll probably read over it even an hour later and cringe/be so amused

Comments

[omnify]

I was worried. The expectation to be happy when I didn't expect myself to be; it also came with the fact neither have I ever been overly indulged for any of my birthdays at all either. 18 is our big birthday; 16 and 21 don't really count for anything.

I suppose the whole issue with myself was that I really just wanted to be home; be home home just with my mama and daddy and my brother, where they would wake me up, have nice food, a cake at night, but otherwise it would be a normal day. That's all I wanted, and knowing that that was impossible when something else I didn't want was going to replace it hurt a lot, since my whole history with homesickness is rather depressing and stupid - it kills me. It's only by reading what you've said that I've come to realise this and it makes me so sad that you won't be able to see your parents since it means so much to me, and I would think would mean so much to you.

I really do appreciate what everyone has done for me. Perhaps not necessary, but I still appreciate it since yes, it is very thoughtful and I know myself that I'm anything but. I spent days before this just worrying over being guilty over not being happy, and I...gah. I'm sorry. D: I CAN'T EXPLAIN MYSELF.

I'm just sorry in general, too.

THANK YOU JAMIE. AND I DON'T NEED A CARD, I CAN FEEL THE POWER OF YOUR THOUGHTS!

[owai]

No, that makes sense. I understand totally that you would want something intimate--a lot of people are into huge birthday parties and things, but it depends on the kind of person you are. If you're very outgoing, and enjoy tons of people, then you would probably enjoy something like that. I've always expected too much from birthdays, myself--I think. Even when I have quite a few people, they don't turn out as spectacular as I want them. My favorite birthday of all was my 14th, when we went down to the waterfront in Seattle and watched the explosion of Mount St. Helens on the IMAX and then went to this super-tasty seafood place. And then it was only my mother and my two best friends.

I don't think your homesickness is stupid. I've been homesick before, and it's absolutely awful, and totally understandable. It only makes sense that you would want something quiet and intimate with your family on a day that's supposed to be special.

I hope you had a fun time anyway, my love~! And not a forced fun time either, but something you could really enjoy :3 It's important that you at least have some good memories.

GOOD CAUSE THEY'RE REALLY POWERFUL.