Where do,I put the hate
I'm scared I'm up for review tomorrow I gotta ahower shave look like I care about living so they don't throw me off the clinic for lack of self care. I miss you so muxh these days. It's like that big hollow center in me aches and calls to you out there in the ether. I don't know if yours does to but my empty aching hollow it aches for you. Try to stay out of the radar under the radio bandwidth. So they don't notice me, the rest of the world. Pull my hat down low or my keffiyeh. Just a harmless cockroach scuttling along messed up junked out trying to make his connections out in the roads. Don't want anyone to see me. If you can't be there if you can't be here than I need something to dull it out to make it seem less bad. But it doesn't. Instead I just freak out Paige and Samantha. But who's to care. It seems I'm past caring. Example leave a cigarette shouldering on your own flesh watch as it eats through your formerly arguably healthy chest. BarbeQ Tom hair. Burning through me. A pile of ash on me. A neat craft table behind me. A dirty drug table infront of me. 220 days cleans at some point. Doesn't matter. Don't care about sober don't care about anything except you. Just sit here, and wait. For what I don't know. The end of the world? The day you actually say something to me? I don't know. I miss you, significantly in an other worldly sort of way, you might of thought you were a house plant I watered I thought you were a goddess I was in service of. I miss your voice the way you'd say my name. I miss your the way your hair and sweat smelt in the bed sheets. The way you'd stretch in the morning and the look you'd make when you wanted breakfest. I just miss everything so much. I go on these hollow dates but I don't want these things with them nor anything with anyone I just miss y bunny sixk upstairs, my bunny in the shower getting ready her Tom trying to make it workd my sanity our future. I miss it all. Signed in tears. Tom