*ginormous fucken sigh*...
Hewwo0..Im back.I came back from GA earlier today,and im at Stephs for the night.I have s0o much to write but i dont feel like typing it all right now.I saw my psychiatrist a couple times when i was up there for the week.He put me on more meds and shit.Told me that I had BPD,OCD,ADHD,anxiety,was bipolar and had major depression.lovely,no?I would think thats enough fucked up things.*heavy sigh*Since my dad found out about me cutting,shits been definetely not cool.He checks me and stuff and constantly asks me if I did n wut not.I wish he would leave me alone.
I suppose I was doing somewhat well up there.Caught up on my sleep,ate alot.Got drugged up more.Still,I didnt cut for a week and 2 days.Earlier today though,when i was finall alone in my room.I had to.I just had toooo....and I did.It keeps stinging and throbbing right now though somewhat.:( its being stupid!! Annndd It has to be hidden now,so i did it on my thigh.My dad cant see that so i think ill be okay.It sucks ass,cuz after 9 days I was about to lose it and go all out.I only cut 10 times and then wrote Die strong under it all.It didnt hurt,it doesnt usually so i wasnt expecting it to somehow start being painful.I kept going cuz i wanted to see more blood...but i made myself stop cuz I did enough for one night.The thing is,my dad told me today that my psych. Dr.Hull and Dr.Davis told him that if he sees/finds out im cutting myself and havent stopped,he HAS to send me to this 30 day program hospital shit.If he doesnt he can get in trouble and theyll force me to go.:( Thats not fair!:( This is all driving me fuckin crazEEEyyy.:( Ive been so ridiculously apathetic lately.Im just..I dunnuh.I need to go die or something.I wish it was still unknown so that I could just stay kept to myself and no one would bother me.Im so pissed that everyone fucken knows now thanks to my stupidface fucken councelor that wasnt supposed to say anything!!Raaawwwrr!:( Shes going to choke on a pretzel.*sighs* Anyways i guessh thats a long enough entry,i was just filling you guys in on wuts been goin on.I suppose Ill write more tomorrow or somethin.I hope everyone has a g0od night and doesnt die or do anything stupid(Like for instance be like me) *oh poo* kayy..gnite my lovies.-1
I suppose I was doing somewhat well up there.Caught up on my sleep,ate alot.Got drugged up more.Still,I didnt cut for a week and 2 days.Earlier today though,when i was finall alone in my room.I had to.I just had toooo....and I did.It keeps stinging and throbbing right now though somewhat.:( its being stupid!! Annndd It has to be hidden now,so i did it on my thigh.My dad cant see that so i think ill be okay.It sucks ass,cuz after 9 days I was about to lose it and go all out.I only cut 10 times and then wrote Die strong under it all.It didnt hurt,it doesnt usually so i wasnt expecting it to somehow start being painful.I kept going cuz i wanted to see more blood...but i made myself stop cuz I did enough for one night.The thing is,my dad told me today that my psych. Dr.Hull and Dr.Davis told him that if he sees/finds out im cutting myself and havent stopped,he HAS to send me to this 30 day program hospital shit.If he doesnt he can get in trouble and theyll force me to go.:( Thats not fair!:( This is all driving me fuckin crazEEEyyy.:( Ive been so ridiculously apathetic lately.Im just..I dunnuh.I need to go die or something.I wish it was still unknown so that I could just stay kept to myself and no one would bother me.Im so pissed that everyone fucken knows now thanks to my stupidface fucken councelor that wasnt supposed to say anything!!Raaawwwrr!:( Shes going to choke on a pretzel.*sighs* Anyways i guessh thats a long enough entry,i was just filling you guys in on wuts been goin on.I suppose Ill write more tomorrow or somethin.I hope everyone has a g0od night and doesnt die or do anything stupid(Like for instance be like me) *oh poo* kayy..gnite my lovies.-1