life is fragile
consciously I know that life is fleeting and that we each need to live each day to the fullest. but it is so darn easy to get caught up in every day life and forget how little time we each have.
having lost my paternal grandfather recently I was reminded of this reality in the most vivid way. my maternal grandfather has very little time left. he is on "comfort care" only and isn't eating, so his death is presumably imminent. it is hard to cope with. when i was young my maternal grandparents were like second parents to me, but I haven't had any meaningful contact with my grandparents for many years. my mother is putting a lot of pressure on me to see my grandfather. i don't know what i would say to him. it feels forced. and i know that he knows how much he has meant to me and that I love him. It feels just wrong to go to him at the last minute after not seeing him for so long.
i feel confused. sad. frustrated. and angry with my mother.
and i have no time to work out these feelings.
i don't know what to do.
having lost my paternal grandfather recently I was reminded of this reality in the most vivid way. my maternal grandfather has very little time left. he is on "comfort care" only and isn't eating, so his death is presumably imminent. it is hard to cope with. when i was young my maternal grandparents were like second parents to me, but I haven't had any meaningful contact with my grandparents for many years. my mother is putting a lot of pressure on me to see my grandfather. i don't know what i would say to him. it feels forced. and i know that he knows how much he has meant to me and that I love him. It feels just wrong to go to him at the last minute after not seeing him for so long.
i feel confused. sad. frustrated. and angry with my mother.
and i have no time to work out these feelings.
i don't know what to do.