maybe this is what you`ve been looking for...
...or maybe it`s another error in the cycle of trial-and-error.
my head is spinning...everything is happening so fast...the one who i`ve had my heart set on for so long now...and the person who`s recently swept me off my feet...it just seems like there was an instant connection...only then after did i really begin to see him [literally...it was after that first day that i started running into him around school at least once every day]. but then...with the first...i really, really, have strong feelings...because...he`s just the best...always brings a smile to my face and when i`m down...lifts my spirits...but then...this new person...it`s so weird...this has never happened before...and to find out that he`s already interested in me...and i`m interested as well...but...not as much as the first person...because i`ve had so much more time to discover what a great person he is. i just wish there was a clear answer, outlined in black-and-white, highlighted, and circled. on bright, neon paper in big, bolded letters. i guess i can`t let go of my feelings for this first guy...because he doesn`t know...maybe I should just straight out tell him...then face my [most likely] rejection...and then move on. It seems sometimes he`s the one doing the pursuing...and then sometimes it`s me...so i`m not really sure if there`s anyhting there of real substance...it could just be mere flirtation...a cruel game of cat-and-mouse with my feelings, i suppose. then there`s always that promise i made to myself a long, long time ago...no relationships...because i can`t afford any distractions. But now that i think about it, that`s an excuse. And I don`t like excuses. If you really want a relationship, don`t hold yourself back. You can work around it, if it`s meant to be. *sigh* why does something so simple have to be so complicated? this is nothing big, it`s nothing i can`t handle. But i`m afraid i`ll make the wrong choice and then not be able to go back...and it`ll be too late.