(no subject)
Desperation, there's danger in frustration. Complicated words slipping off of your tongue& ain't one of them the truth.
I'M STILL DESPERATE FOR YOU.
I would like to think that my heart is a little better than it was when I wrote in here almost two months ago& man has the time flown. I feel like time is constantly moving so quickly& I need to CATCH UP, which I can't decide if that is good or not.
Amanda& Levi brought Savannah to see me while I was home yesterday which was very nice, I love to laugh with them& just catch up. Savannah is getting so big so soon, she already tries to stand up at four months on Friday, it is insane seems like she was JUST born. She is the most beautiful little baby in the world to me, I was pretty much done the first time I held her. I feel bad about them having to split the time when they come though, I didn't know but when they left I guess they went to see Jordan, well Amanda didn't know either& I guess I feel bad to "pull them". As I look up at my Kentucky toolbar on my internet I am reminded, I love Jordan so much, still even after everything that has happened& I know nothing will ever be the same& it's just awful. But at the same time I want us to be able to at the least be cordial not even just for Levi& Amanda but for Savannah when she gets older& that is obviously not possible, for now at least. But on the other hand I do understand that no matter what he is Levi's brother..it just hurts me how SO much has changed since November just when I thought everything was going well..