To China, With Love
Title: To China, With Love
Pairing: Song Jae Rim/Kim So Eun
Genre: Romance
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Progress
She is sitting in an apartment that’s been rented for her movie in China, legs curled under her while her phone is in her hands. She had long dismissed her team, including her manager, and had just wanted to sit in the quiet of this space that would serve as her temporary home for the next 4-6 weeks. She had planned to work on her script for the upcoming filming during the course of the morning, but had deserted the idea 15 minutes ago when she got caught up in continuing a level of Candy Crush Soda that she hasn’t been able to crack in the past week.
“Ugh,” she says, running out of moves and lives, for what seems to be a millionth time. “This sucks.” The phone is thrown onto the space beside her and she pouts a bit before reaching for the script. At the same time, her phone announces the arrival of a text message. It seems she is more than happy to be distracted because before she knows it, she is picking up her phone and checking the message that’s arrived.
A smile breaks across her face when she reads the text on her locked screen: Jagi-ya, what are you doing?
Without any consideration, she types in her response: Studying my script. What are you up to?
She feels so much more comfortable with her on-screen husband these days and she rather looks forward to receiving his texts. They always seem to brighten her day.
He doesn’t respond and she knows he must be busy, so she puts her phone down and opens the script to where she last left off, biting her lower lip, as she reads the scene through. She wishes he finished their exchange, but well, she can’t linger on “what-ifs” and temporary wishes.
15 minutes pass and there is another notification. Eager for the distraction, she picks up the phone and sees a picture sent to her. It’s of him, at an event for his cosmetic company, Laneige. She studies the picture, probably taken by his manager, Seung Joon, and doesn’t recognize the model beside him. Is she… Chinese?
She texts him back: Where are you?!
Again, he doesn’t respond and this waiting game is beginning to annoy her. Why start a text exchange you can’t engage in? “Chincha,” she sighs, obviously annoyed at having to wait for his follow up text. She puts the phone down beside her and gets up to pour herself a glass of water. As she’s doing so, she hears her phone chirp, and she disregards what she’s doing to run over and read the text.
Do you want me to pick you up some dinner for later? She looks at the sender and is slightly disappointed that it’s her manager. Her refrigerator is stocked, so she declines the offer, saying she’ll just eat what’s around and turn in early, since she has an early-ish day.
“Song Jae Rim, what’s with you?” she says to her phone. When she’s about to throw it down again, her phone chirps and she makes a conscious decision not to get excited because it’s likely her manager again.
She’s wrong and is only so happy to be mistaken.
Laneige event. China
Butterflies erupt in her stomach at the sight of his text and she’s bold in her response: I’m here too. How long are you here?
She has been so lonely today. Although technology bridges the divide, nothing beats human contact, and she’s tired of her entourage of stylists, coordis, and management. They probably feel the same way. Not everyone can join a Harley Davidson club, she thinks to herself, jealous that her “husband” has an outlet to engage with people.
The on-screen chemistry she has with Song Jae Rim is undeniable and he’s absolutely right. Filming WGM with each other is a vacation. Sure, they have to be in front of the cameras, but they have fun together.
Another event tonight. Leaving tomorrow.
She is disappointed by his response. She would’ve welcomed yet another distraction, but it seems the universe is intent on keeping her holed up in this apartment.
She types what she knows may likely be the last in this exchange and resigns to the fact that she needs to stop procrastinating and get to work: Good luck.
She would’ve written more, but well, was more really necessary? They will be seeing each other soon for another filming at some point, date still to be determined, so it’s fine. Besides, he’s busy.
Back in the kitchen, she resumes pouring herself a glass of water and returns to the sofa to attempt reading her script and resist the urge to play Candy Crush Soda again, because she likely has a new life that she can use to pass the level.
“No. Play after you go through the script,” she mutters to herself and begins reading her script, hearing her phone chirp with the arrival of new texts. Between sips of water, trips to the bathroom, and reading each line carefully, she is lost in preparation and soon forgets her noisy phone.
After two hours, she finally sets down the script and squints her eyes tightly. It’s a typical physical reaction when she spends hours reading and committing lines and scenes to memory. She grabs her phone and sees a slew of text messages. There are a few from members of her team; a fitting for wardrobe, inquiries about makeup, a heads up about a script reading. There is a text from her mother, letting her know she and the rest of the family are doing well. Then, there is long list of texts from Song Jae Rim, the person she never would’ve expected to be receiving texts from. She starts at the oldest and scrolls up.
Want to get together later?
Maybe not out. We might be recognized.
We can stay in, order dinner, and watch a movie.
Or we can cook.
My place or yours?
Believe it or not, I miss our house in Gimpo.
I wonder how are the plants are doing. And the chickens.
Hello? Are you there?
She doesn’t realize that she’s smiling at the end of his texts, the last one was sent 15 minutes earlier. She decides, that it’s enough with the texts already and she dials his number.
“JAGI!” he says loudly into the phone and she knows he’s smiling by the way her pet name comes out.
She snickers into the phone. “Oppa, are you done?” She glances at her watch and sees it’s only 3:00 pm.
“The evening event starts in 2 hours. I’m still in hair and make up.”
“Oh.”
“Do you think it’s later? We aren’t in Gimpo, Backroom Granny. It’s not time to go to bed yet.”
She laughs, goading him on. “Call for our daughter-in-law, oppa,” and he does so without hesitation.
“Hemi-ah! Hemi-ah!!” he calls out, in that hilarious nasal voice he does so well.
She is laughing out loud, her cheeks bursting. “Aah, so funny.”
“I should always do that. I like to watch you laugh,” he chuckles. “So about later… Wanna meet up?”
She jumps in immediately. “Yeah. I need a break and I’m lonely.”
“Lonely? Where’s your people?”
“I dismissed them. We need a break from each other.”
“Huh. Okay, well, this event is supposed to end at 8. Is that too late?”
“Nah. It’s good. Since you’ll be working, I can cook. My fridge is stocked. What do you feel like eating?”
“Kimchi jigae. Seriously. I’m in the mood for it.”
“I don’t have kimchi.”
“Looks like you’re going to have to make it for me when we get back home. In any case, I’ll eat whatever you make.”
“Chincha?!”
“Yeah, but I would like some rice.”
“Absolutely. We need to beef you up. I don’t like that you lost so much weight, oppa. You’re as skinny as me and that’s not right.”
“I know. Well, I’m under my wife’s care, so I trust she’ll make good food for me.”
She smiles at his last comment and tries to end the conversation so she can get started planning the menu. “Okay, I’ll have my manager text Seung Joon with the address. You want to bring your team over too?” she asks, getting excited at the prospect of having a dinner party.
“No. I’ll have Seung Joon drop me off.”
“Why? I can cook enough for everybody…”
“I want to dismiss my team. They need a break from me too.”
“So just the two of us then?” she asks, to confirm the amount of food she’s going to make.
“Yeah. Is that a problem?”
“No. Just want to make sure I make just the right amount of food. We can find a movie together on TV. I’ll expect you at 8:30 then.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“See you…”
“And Soeun-ah?”
“Hmm?”
“I can’t wait for tonight,” and he hangs up the phone, leaving her holding her breath while her heart flutters at the husky sound of his voice on the other end.
--
After hanging up, she went back to studying her script, which she did unsuccessfully. She then played a game of Candy Crush Soda and couldn’t concentrate, so she tried to take a nap, also unsuccessfully. She straightened up the sparsely furnished dwelling, putting everything in its place, then spent a little over an hour in the kitchen.
Rice cooked and steaming, the almond float is setting in the refrigerator, and the vegetables and chicken are cut and prepped for the mini wok that’s on the stove, she checks the time. It’s 8:00 and she wants everything to be perfect, just like the table she’s set for dinner, complete with a few flowers from a bouquet she got when she arrived yesterday. She decides she’s going to wait until he arrives before stir-frying dinner and goes to the bathroom to freshen up for the umpteenth time, checking her make-up in the mirror and fixing her hair. As she’s applying lipstick, she smiles at how she wishes he were there so she could blot her lips on the back of his hand and shock him once again.
She has no idea when she got so cheesy, but credits the “Jaerim Effect” for this sudden shift in her happy personality. Forgoing a skirt, which is her favorite thing to wear to look pretty, she opts for a pair of jeans and a form-fitted sweater. She looks at her reflection one last time and exhales before moving into the bedroom to unpack her things and place them in the dresser.
She is about to move back into the bathroom when she hears the doorbell. It’s 8:15 and she runs to see who’s at the door, expecting her manager to be on the other side of the peephole. She gasps when she sees that it’s Song Jae Rim.
“Ottoke?” she whispers and reaches for the door knob.
Swinging the door open, her hair blows by the draft. “Oppa! You’re early. Come on in!”
He passes her and pulls her into his arms, his lips resting on her hair and her arms carefully snake around his torso as the door closes behind him. “I snuck out early.” He lets her go and she secretly misses him as soon as their arms release. “You look pretty,” he says, admiring her face and reaching for her hand to hold, which she doesn’t resist.
“And you look newly showered. Do you not have make up on?” She reaches up to peer at his skin and confirms immediately that he is indeed bare-faced. She inspects him and is a bit jealous that despite not having BB cream, he still looks great. “Come on in and check out the new house.”
He chuckles. “We have so many homes, jagi-ya. How many is that between us? 4?”
She nods. “Yup, 4 homes. 3 in Seoul, 1 in China,” and walks slowly to the kitchen so he can check out the apartment.
“It’s big. Isn’t it lonely in here?”
“That’s why you’re here,” she says, throwing her head back to look up to him and smile. They arrive at the kitchen and she turns on the stove. “I wanted to make sure everything was hot, from wok to plate.”
He comes to stand beside here. “Go sit down. I’ve got this.” She should have known better. He can’t let sit idly by when there’s stuff happening.
“I invited you over. I should be the one to cook. You go sit down.” They look at each other and realize no one is going to stand down, so she concedes. “Okay, how’s about you toss and stir, and I add and season?”
He smiles and nods. “Okay, together.”
She spoons in the chicken and he cooks it through before she starts adding in the other ingredients, including the sauce. As he’s giving the pan a final stir, she moves to the sink and begins washing the dishes. She’s adopted his habits of cleaning as she cooks, so there won’t be a lot of dishes to do after dinner. Looking over at him, he’s transferring the stirfry into a dish she’s left on the counter and then walks it to the dining room table.
“There’s rice over there,” she motions toward the rice cooker and the two small bowls she’s placed there for dinner, finishing up the last of the dishes. They meet at the counter and he’s scooping in rice. “Eat a lot, nampyeon. You’re too skinny.”
“Are you on a diet? For your projects?”
“No. I’m okay.”
They walk to the table and move to sit across other.
“This is weird,” he says. “We usually sit beside each other when we eat. Now we’ll be able to see exactly how the other looks when we eat and really see the stuff that gets stuck in our teeth. Oh, Peonies! Pretty.” He reaches down to touch the flowers she’s placed on the table.
They sit down and begin digging in, commenting on how delicious everything is. She gave him a spoon and a pair of chopsticks, just in case and she can see that he appreciates the gesture, since her husband is clumsy with chopsticks, a rarity for an Asian man.
“How’s the drama coming along, oppa?”
“It’s moving along. Filming isn’t too difficult. And what about you?”
“Just studying scripts for now. Anything exciting happen on the set?”
“Well, we filmed a kiss scene, so that will air this week.” She looks at him and nods in an over-exaggerated way. “What?”
“Nothing,” she says, putting a snow pea in her mouth and chewing.
“That nod wasn’t normal.”
“What do you mean? I was just acknowledging that you had a kiss scene.”
“Are you jealous, jagi?” he asks jokingly, obviously wanting to see if he can get a rise out of her.
“No.”
“Omo! My pretty wife is jealous!” he laughs, watching at her face beginning to blush pink.
“I’m not.”
“Should we kiss then?”
She looks at him and he’s grinning like an idiot again and she wants to slap him, but she doesn’t want to reach over the table to hit him, so she sits quietly. “I’m not jealous.”
They continue to eat, talking about what’s new, like him joining a Harley Davidson club and of course, their cats. In the process, she clears the table and places the dishes in the sink then goes to retrieve the almond float in the refrigerator.
“I love this stuff!” he says, digging into his serving. “I didn’t know you could make this!”
“It’s not that difficult.”
They continue talking and before they know it, it’s 9:30. “It’s a little late for a movie,” he says. “You have an early morning, right?”
She nods. Staying up a bit longer doesn’t seem like too much and besides, she enjoys his company. “What about you? Do you have an early morning?”
“No. Just an appearance at noon, before my flight back home.”
“Can we watch the movie then?” she asks and he nods in response.
He washes the last dishes and she moves to the living room to turn on the TV and find a movie. She settles on “The Truth About Beauty” and turns on the subtitles as he makes his way to the sectional sofa that allows him to extend his legs out while sitting up to watch the movie.
“Have you ever had plastic surgery, oppa?” she asks, sitting on the sofa.
“No. What about you?”
“No.”
They are quiet for a moment as the opening credits roll and she’s lost in thought about what their kids would look like if they had any. They’d no doubt have excellent genes.
“Come,” he says, patting the space beside him and placing his arm on the backrest. She could also lie beside him, but perhaps not yet. She does sit down, feet still on the floor. “Are there graphic sex scenes in this one?”
“I don’t think so,” she says and they laugh at being uncomfortable in a car at a drive-in theatre.
“Well, if there were, it wouldn’t be a problem. That was just weird, cameras capturing every single reaction. If we watched it tonight, I don’t think it’d be a problem.”
“Right. It’s artistic so we don’t have to be embarrassed.”
“So you want to watch it again?”
“They don’t have it here,” and they laugh at how crazy they must sound after blushing hard and averting their gaze at the screen that night.
She leans back and his arm encircles her shoulder, then pulls her against him. She brings her legs to settle on the sectional beside his and turns to her side, leaning against him and resting her head on his chest. She can feel his lips resting on her hair and she stops breathing briefly. She can never stop feeling nervous when he does that. They adjust themselves slightly throughout the movie and he pulls her even closer as time goes on, which she doesn’t mind. She had thought the positioning would be awkward, but it’s not. It’s remarkably comfortable, cozy, and natural.
She opens her eyes and the room is still dimly lit by the glow of the TV, the movie long over, and he’s still here, sleeping and still holding her against him. She cuddles up close to him, his breathing steady as he adjusts his positioning again. It feels like they’ve done this before, so she closes her eyes and enjoys how it feels to be in his arms.
She should wake him up and send him home. She should go to sleep in the bedroom. She should do lots of things, but there is only one thing she feels like she should do at this moment. She tilts her head back and looks up at him before kissing him gently on the chin. He lowers his head and his lips briefly brush against hers, so she kisses him back, lips puckered, sweet and sure.
“What are you doing, Soeun-ah?” he whispers, their lips continuing to touch, but she doesn’t answer him. She simply inhales, relishing the scent of the Jo Malone cologne he’s used tonight and every time they meet. She pulls away and nuzzles into his neck and she feels him tense up beside her, but he soon relaxes again.
“Sorry,” she murmurs and places her hand on his chest to push away from him, but he holds her tight.
“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. It just adds a different dimension to us.”
She nestles in again and feels his lips on her head again. She’s grown accustomed to near him and although their filming is sporadic, she recently began to really mind her appearance whenever he’s around. It’s weird. She’s never had someone in her life where she’s felt both nervous and comfortable with at the same time. Of course, her profession requires her to look pretty all the time, but she puts in the extra effort when he’s around, but all of it is tempered by how they fall into a comfortable rapport when they’re together.
“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” she says, just enough so he can hear.
“What does that even mean?” he chuckles. “Are you saying that this is merely an issue of convenience? Like if we’re in the same place, we can be close like this, but when we’re not, there is nothing binding us other than a contract for a reality show?”
She doesn’t know what she meant when she said that things needn’t be complicated. It just felt like something to say.
“I’m saying that we should just enjoy being together.”
“I already do, but this, what just happened, is taking us to a different level, don’t you think?” She’s quiet, thinking about what he’s just asked. “Doing what we just did, moving beyond platonic involves deeper feelings and exclusiveness. How can that not be complicated? Unless you want to engage like that devoid of emotion.”
“What?” she can’t even understand what he just said.
“Devoid of emotion? Okay, it’s like scratching the ‘itch’ without any feelings involved.” She sits up to look at him, even more confused, so he tries again. “Friends with benefits. A trusted someone to fulfill physical needs. You’ve never heard of this?”
She finally figures out what he’s talking about and yes, she has heard of it, but she decides to string him along and play dumb, just to see him get uncomfortable. “What are you even talking about?”
“Say I need the comfort of, um, a woman.”
“Okay… Like to hug and stuff?”
“Uh, yeah, and more.”
“More? Like getting married?” She watches him squirm at having to articulate the words.
“No, like, you know…” She shoots him a confused look, trying desperately not to laugh. “Like, I have needs.”
“Okay… like eating? Someone to cook food for you?”
He sighs. “Like, what if I want to, you know?”
“No. Just say it.”
He’s quiet and no doubt at the point where he realizes he can’t skirt the issue anymore. He has to just come out and say it. “Like if I want to experience a woman’s body.”
“Like dressing up like a woman? That’s weird, oppa.” Inside, she’s dying at how frustrated he looks, but she is not going to let up. She’s going to let him come out and say it. “Why would you want to dress up like a woman? Are you…?”
“No! Geez! I mean, what if I want to have sex. Are you saying that we could?”
She feigns surprise. “Omo! You do that? Have meaningless sex and contact with women?”
“No, but…”
“I don’t know if I could do that unless I have feelings for someone.”
“But you said that this doesn’t need to be complicated. Don’t feelings complicate everything? What if you and I do start to hang out more and get more physical, like what happened tonight, and it goes on until we hit a fever pitch and the next step is sex. If it’s not complicated, we’d do it, right?”
“But sex would make things more complicated.” He’s smiling at her and she can’t help but look away.
“Then what did you mean when you said things don’t have to be complicated?”
“I mean that we don’t have to overthink everything. Don’t worry about what it all means, now or later, and just allowing ourselves to feel connected to each other. Just relish feeing love and being affectionate at the current moment.”
He pulls her toward him, allowing her to assume the previous position beside him and she acquiesces.
“Baby?” he says softly in her hair.
“Mmm?”
“So what happens tonight is only for tonight?”
“Yeah.”
He’s quiet again and she cuddles against him, her arm over his stomach, hugging him closer.
“I love you, jagi-ya,” he says clearly, and she can feel the heat rise to her face. “I fell in love with you on the first day we met, and I’ve loved you every day since.” She doesn’t move. She’s frozen, but it seems he doesn’t care and keeps on talking. “I love your smile and your laugh, and your beautiful face and if I could wake up to you everyday for the rest of my life, I’d be the happiest man in the world.”
She knows he's harbored feelings for her, but she's kept him at arms distance, that is, until now, so she clears her throat and the words get stuck, but she tries again. “I love you, nampyeon. I miss you when you’re not around and I’m so happy when you are.”
She tilts her head back to look up at him and he leans in to kiss her gently on the lips and she melts under his touch, but he’s not satisfied with the chasteness of a single kiss and he swoops in, cradling her face in his hand and deepening their kiss, mouths open, tongues softly caressing in exchange. A sigh escapes her and he pulls her even closer to him so that there is no space between them. He guides them to lie down, continuing to kiss her in ways that she knows is making her eyes roll to the back of her head behind her eyelids.
He pecks her cheek and begins planting kisses at her jawline, then down her neck before returning to her mouth, kissing her so deeply that with every pass she feels lightheaded and like he’s stealing her breath. He finally stops and she keeps her eyes closed, her lips still pursed and missing his mouth, but she opens her eyes and he’s looking at her dreamily, while she smiles at him, in an obvious daze.
“I meant every word, you know, Soeun-ah.”
“Nado.”
“Even if only for tonight and none of it will matter in the morning, I wanted you to at least know.”
“It’s already morning,” she says, showing him his watch. “And it still matters.”
He kisses her again and this time, it won’t just be temporary and mean nothing. It means everything, now and always.
Pairing: Song Jae Rim/Kim So Eun
Genre: Romance
Rating: pg-13
Summary: Progress
She is sitting in an apartment that’s been rented for her movie in China, legs curled under her while her phone is in her hands. She had long dismissed her team, including her manager, and had just wanted to sit in the quiet of this space that would serve as her temporary home for the next 4-6 weeks. She had planned to work on her script for the upcoming filming during the course of the morning, but had deserted the idea 15 minutes ago when she got caught up in continuing a level of Candy Crush Soda that she hasn’t been able to crack in the past week.
“Ugh,” she says, running out of moves and lives, for what seems to be a millionth time. “This sucks.” The phone is thrown onto the space beside her and she pouts a bit before reaching for the script. At the same time, her phone announces the arrival of a text message. It seems she is more than happy to be distracted because before she knows it, she is picking up her phone and checking the message that’s arrived.
A smile breaks across her face when she reads the text on her locked screen: Jagi-ya, what are you doing?
Without any consideration, she types in her response: Studying my script. What are you up to?
She feels so much more comfortable with her on-screen husband these days and she rather looks forward to receiving his texts. They always seem to brighten her day.
He doesn’t respond and she knows he must be busy, so she puts her phone down and opens the script to where she last left off, biting her lower lip, as she reads the scene through. She wishes he finished their exchange, but well, she can’t linger on “what-ifs” and temporary wishes.
15 minutes pass and there is another notification. Eager for the distraction, she picks up the phone and sees a picture sent to her. It’s of him, at an event for his cosmetic company, Laneige. She studies the picture, probably taken by his manager, Seung Joon, and doesn’t recognize the model beside him. Is she… Chinese?
She texts him back: Where are you?!
Again, he doesn’t respond and this waiting game is beginning to annoy her. Why start a text exchange you can’t engage in? “Chincha,” she sighs, obviously annoyed at having to wait for his follow up text. She puts the phone down beside her and gets up to pour herself a glass of water. As she’s doing so, she hears her phone chirp, and she disregards what she’s doing to run over and read the text.
Do you want me to pick you up some dinner for later? She looks at the sender and is slightly disappointed that it’s her manager. Her refrigerator is stocked, so she declines the offer, saying she’ll just eat what’s around and turn in early, since she has an early-ish day.
“Song Jae Rim, what’s with you?” she says to her phone. When she’s about to throw it down again, her phone chirps and she makes a conscious decision not to get excited because it’s likely her manager again.
She’s wrong and is only so happy to be mistaken.
Laneige event. China
Butterflies erupt in her stomach at the sight of his text and she’s bold in her response: I’m here too. How long are you here?
She has been so lonely today. Although technology bridges the divide, nothing beats human contact, and she’s tired of her entourage of stylists, coordis, and management. They probably feel the same way. Not everyone can join a Harley Davidson club, she thinks to herself, jealous that her “husband” has an outlet to engage with people.
The on-screen chemistry she has with Song Jae Rim is undeniable and he’s absolutely right. Filming WGM with each other is a vacation. Sure, they have to be in front of the cameras, but they have fun together.
Another event tonight. Leaving tomorrow.
She is disappointed by his response. She would’ve welcomed yet another distraction, but it seems the universe is intent on keeping her holed up in this apartment.
She types what she knows may likely be the last in this exchange and resigns to the fact that she needs to stop procrastinating and get to work: Good luck.
She would’ve written more, but well, was more really necessary? They will be seeing each other soon for another filming at some point, date still to be determined, so it’s fine. Besides, he’s busy.
Back in the kitchen, she resumes pouring herself a glass of water and returns to the sofa to attempt reading her script and resist the urge to play Candy Crush Soda again, because she likely has a new life that she can use to pass the level.
“No. Play after you go through the script,” she mutters to herself and begins reading her script, hearing her phone chirp with the arrival of new texts. Between sips of water, trips to the bathroom, and reading each line carefully, she is lost in preparation and soon forgets her noisy phone.
After two hours, she finally sets down the script and squints her eyes tightly. It’s a typical physical reaction when she spends hours reading and committing lines and scenes to memory. She grabs her phone and sees a slew of text messages. There are a few from members of her team; a fitting for wardrobe, inquiries about makeup, a heads up about a script reading. There is a text from her mother, letting her know she and the rest of the family are doing well. Then, there is long list of texts from Song Jae Rim, the person she never would’ve expected to be receiving texts from. She starts at the oldest and scrolls up.
Want to get together later?
Maybe not out. We might be recognized.
We can stay in, order dinner, and watch a movie.
Or we can cook.
My place or yours?
Believe it or not, I miss our house in Gimpo.
I wonder how are the plants are doing. And the chickens.
Hello? Are you there?
She doesn’t realize that she’s smiling at the end of his texts, the last one was sent 15 minutes earlier. She decides, that it’s enough with the texts already and she dials his number.
“JAGI!” he says loudly into the phone and she knows he’s smiling by the way her pet name comes out.
She snickers into the phone. “Oppa, are you done?” She glances at her watch and sees it’s only 3:00 pm.
“The evening event starts in 2 hours. I’m still in hair and make up.”
“Oh.”
“Do you think it’s later? We aren’t in Gimpo, Backroom Granny. It’s not time to go to bed yet.”
She laughs, goading him on. “Call for our daughter-in-law, oppa,” and he does so without hesitation.
“Hemi-ah! Hemi-ah!!” he calls out, in that hilarious nasal voice he does so well.
She is laughing out loud, her cheeks bursting. “Aah, so funny.”
“I should always do that. I like to watch you laugh,” he chuckles. “So about later… Wanna meet up?”
She jumps in immediately. “Yeah. I need a break and I’m lonely.”
“Lonely? Where’s your people?”
“I dismissed them. We need a break from each other.”
“Huh. Okay, well, this event is supposed to end at 8. Is that too late?”
“Nah. It’s good. Since you’ll be working, I can cook. My fridge is stocked. What do you feel like eating?”
“Kimchi jigae. Seriously. I’m in the mood for it.”
“I don’t have kimchi.”
“Looks like you’re going to have to make it for me when we get back home. In any case, I’ll eat whatever you make.”
“Chincha?!”
“Yeah, but I would like some rice.”
“Absolutely. We need to beef you up. I don’t like that you lost so much weight, oppa. You’re as skinny as me and that’s not right.”
“I know. Well, I’m under my wife’s care, so I trust she’ll make good food for me.”
She smiles at his last comment and tries to end the conversation so she can get started planning the menu. “Okay, I’ll have my manager text Seung Joon with the address. You want to bring your team over too?” she asks, getting excited at the prospect of having a dinner party.
“No. I’ll have Seung Joon drop me off.”
“Why? I can cook enough for everybody…”
“I want to dismiss my team. They need a break from me too.”
“So just the two of us then?” she asks, to confirm the amount of food she’s going to make.
“Yeah. Is that a problem?”
“No. Just want to make sure I make just the right amount of food. We can find a movie together on TV. I’ll expect you at 8:30 then.”
“Okay. See you then.”
“See you…”
“And Soeun-ah?”
“Hmm?”
“I can’t wait for tonight,” and he hangs up the phone, leaving her holding her breath while her heart flutters at the husky sound of his voice on the other end.
--
After hanging up, she went back to studying her script, which she did unsuccessfully. She then played a game of Candy Crush Soda and couldn’t concentrate, so she tried to take a nap, also unsuccessfully. She straightened up the sparsely furnished dwelling, putting everything in its place, then spent a little over an hour in the kitchen.
Rice cooked and steaming, the almond float is setting in the refrigerator, and the vegetables and chicken are cut and prepped for the mini wok that’s on the stove, she checks the time. It’s 8:00 and she wants everything to be perfect, just like the table she’s set for dinner, complete with a few flowers from a bouquet she got when she arrived yesterday. She decides she’s going to wait until he arrives before stir-frying dinner and goes to the bathroom to freshen up for the umpteenth time, checking her make-up in the mirror and fixing her hair. As she’s applying lipstick, she smiles at how she wishes he were there so she could blot her lips on the back of his hand and shock him once again.
She has no idea when she got so cheesy, but credits the “Jaerim Effect” for this sudden shift in her happy personality. Forgoing a skirt, which is her favorite thing to wear to look pretty, she opts for a pair of jeans and a form-fitted sweater. She looks at her reflection one last time and exhales before moving into the bedroom to unpack her things and place them in the dresser.
She is about to move back into the bathroom when she hears the doorbell. It’s 8:15 and she runs to see who’s at the door, expecting her manager to be on the other side of the peephole. She gasps when she sees that it’s Song Jae Rim.
“Ottoke?” she whispers and reaches for the door knob.
Swinging the door open, her hair blows by the draft. “Oppa! You’re early. Come on in!”
He passes her and pulls her into his arms, his lips resting on her hair and her arms carefully snake around his torso as the door closes behind him. “I snuck out early.” He lets her go and she secretly misses him as soon as their arms release. “You look pretty,” he says, admiring her face and reaching for her hand to hold, which she doesn’t resist.
“And you look newly showered. Do you not have make up on?” She reaches up to peer at his skin and confirms immediately that he is indeed bare-faced. She inspects him and is a bit jealous that despite not having BB cream, he still looks great. “Come on in and check out the new house.”
He chuckles. “We have so many homes, jagi-ya. How many is that between us? 4?”
She nods. “Yup, 4 homes. 3 in Seoul, 1 in China,” and walks slowly to the kitchen so he can check out the apartment.
“It’s big. Isn’t it lonely in here?”
“That’s why you’re here,” she says, throwing her head back to look up to him and smile. They arrive at the kitchen and she turns on the stove. “I wanted to make sure everything was hot, from wok to plate.”
He comes to stand beside here. “Go sit down. I’ve got this.” She should have known better. He can’t let sit idly by when there’s stuff happening.
“I invited you over. I should be the one to cook. You go sit down.” They look at each other and realize no one is going to stand down, so she concedes. “Okay, how’s about you toss and stir, and I add and season?”
He smiles and nods. “Okay, together.”
She spoons in the chicken and he cooks it through before she starts adding in the other ingredients, including the sauce. As he’s giving the pan a final stir, she moves to the sink and begins washing the dishes. She’s adopted his habits of cleaning as she cooks, so there won’t be a lot of dishes to do after dinner. Looking over at him, he’s transferring the stirfry into a dish she’s left on the counter and then walks it to the dining room table.
“There’s rice over there,” she motions toward the rice cooker and the two small bowls she’s placed there for dinner, finishing up the last of the dishes. They meet at the counter and he’s scooping in rice. “Eat a lot, nampyeon. You’re too skinny.”
“Are you on a diet? For your projects?”
“No. I’m okay.”
They walk to the table and move to sit across other.
“This is weird,” he says. “We usually sit beside each other when we eat. Now we’ll be able to see exactly how the other looks when we eat and really see the stuff that gets stuck in our teeth. Oh, Peonies! Pretty.” He reaches down to touch the flowers she’s placed on the table.
They sit down and begin digging in, commenting on how delicious everything is. She gave him a spoon and a pair of chopsticks, just in case and she can see that he appreciates the gesture, since her husband is clumsy with chopsticks, a rarity for an Asian man.
“How’s the drama coming along, oppa?”
“It’s moving along. Filming isn’t too difficult. And what about you?”
“Just studying scripts for now. Anything exciting happen on the set?”
“Well, we filmed a kiss scene, so that will air this week.” She looks at him and nods in an over-exaggerated way. “What?”
“Nothing,” she says, putting a snow pea in her mouth and chewing.
“That nod wasn’t normal.”
“What do you mean? I was just acknowledging that you had a kiss scene.”
“Are you jealous, jagi?” he asks jokingly, obviously wanting to see if he can get a rise out of her.
“No.”
“Omo! My pretty wife is jealous!” he laughs, watching at her face beginning to blush pink.
“I’m not.”
“Should we kiss then?”
She looks at him and he’s grinning like an idiot again and she wants to slap him, but she doesn’t want to reach over the table to hit him, so she sits quietly. “I’m not jealous.”
They continue to eat, talking about what’s new, like him joining a Harley Davidson club and of course, their cats. In the process, she clears the table and places the dishes in the sink then goes to retrieve the almond float in the refrigerator.
“I love this stuff!” he says, digging into his serving. “I didn’t know you could make this!”
“It’s not that difficult.”
They continue talking and before they know it, it’s 9:30. “It’s a little late for a movie,” he says. “You have an early morning, right?”
She nods. Staying up a bit longer doesn’t seem like too much and besides, she enjoys his company. “What about you? Do you have an early morning?”
“No. Just an appearance at noon, before my flight back home.”
“Can we watch the movie then?” she asks and he nods in response.
He washes the last dishes and she moves to the living room to turn on the TV and find a movie. She settles on “The Truth About Beauty” and turns on the subtitles as he makes his way to the sectional sofa that allows him to extend his legs out while sitting up to watch the movie.
“Have you ever had plastic surgery, oppa?” she asks, sitting on the sofa.
“No. What about you?”
“No.”
They are quiet for a moment as the opening credits roll and she’s lost in thought about what their kids would look like if they had any. They’d no doubt have excellent genes.
“Come,” he says, patting the space beside him and placing his arm on the backrest. She could also lie beside him, but perhaps not yet. She does sit down, feet still on the floor. “Are there graphic sex scenes in this one?”
“I don’t think so,” she says and they laugh at being uncomfortable in a car at a drive-in theatre.
“Well, if there were, it wouldn’t be a problem. That was just weird, cameras capturing every single reaction. If we watched it tonight, I don’t think it’d be a problem.”
“Right. It’s artistic so we don’t have to be embarrassed.”
“So you want to watch it again?”
“They don’t have it here,” and they laugh at how crazy they must sound after blushing hard and averting their gaze at the screen that night.
She leans back and his arm encircles her shoulder, then pulls her against him. She brings her legs to settle on the sectional beside his and turns to her side, leaning against him and resting her head on his chest. She can feel his lips resting on her hair and she stops breathing briefly. She can never stop feeling nervous when he does that. They adjust themselves slightly throughout the movie and he pulls her even closer as time goes on, which she doesn’t mind. She had thought the positioning would be awkward, but it’s not. It’s remarkably comfortable, cozy, and natural.
She opens her eyes and the room is still dimly lit by the glow of the TV, the movie long over, and he’s still here, sleeping and still holding her against him. She cuddles up close to him, his breathing steady as he adjusts his positioning again. It feels like they’ve done this before, so she closes her eyes and enjoys how it feels to be in his arms.
She should wake him up and send him home. She should go to sleep in the bedroom. She should do lots of things, but there is only one thing she feels like she should do at this moment. She tilts her head back and looks up at him before kissing him gently on the chin. He lowers his head and his lips briefly brush against hers, so she kisses him back, lips puckered, sweet and sure.
“What are you doing, Soeun-ah?” he whispers, their lips continuing to touch, but she doesn’t answer him. She simply inhales, relishing the scent of the Jo Malone cologne he’s used tonight and every time they meet. She pulls away and nuzzles into his neck and she feels him tense up beside her, but he soon relaxes again.
“Sorry,” she murmurs and places her hand on his chest to push away from him, but he holds her tight.
“I didn’t say I didn’t like it. It just adds a different dimension to us.”
She nestles in again and feels his lips on her head again. She’s grown accustomed to near him and although their filming is sporadic, she recently began to really mind her appearance whenever he’s around. It’s weird. She’s never had someone in her life where she’s felt both nervous and comfortable with at the same time. Of course, her profession requires her to look pretty all the time, but she puts in the extra effort when he’s around, but all of it is tempered by how they fall into a comfortable rapport when they’re together.
“It doesn’t have to be complicated,” she says, just enough so he can hear.
“What does that even mean?” he chuckles. “Are you saying that this is merely an issue of convenience? Like if we’re in the same place, we can be close like this, but when we’re not, there is nothing binding us other than a contract for a reality show?”
She doesn’t know what she meant when she said that things needn’t be complicated. It just felt like something to say.
“I’m saying that we should just enjoy being together.”
“I already do, but this, what just happened, is taking us to a different level, don’t you think?” She’s quiet, thinking about what he’s just asked. “Doing what we just did, moving beyond platonic involves deeper feelings and exclusiveness. How can that not be complicated? Unless you want to engage like that devoid of emotion.”
“What?” she can’t even understand what he just said.
“Devoid of emotion? Okay, it’s like scratching the ‘itch’ without any feelings involved.” She sits up to look at him, even more confused, so he tries again. “Friends with benefits. A trusted someone to fulfill physical needs. You’ve never heard of this?”
She finally figures out what he’s talking about and yes, she has heard of it, but she decides to string him along and play dumb, just to see him get uncomfortable. “What are you even talking about?”
“Say I need the comfort of, um, a woman.”
“Okay… Like to hug and stuff?”
“Uh, yeah, and more.”
“More? Like getting married?” She watches him squirm at having to articulate the words.
“No, like, you know…” She shoots him a confused look, trying desperately not to laugh. “Like, I have needs.”
“Okay… like eating? Someone to cook food for you?”
He sighs. “Like, what if I want to, you know?”
“No. Just say it.”
He’s quiet and no doubt at the point where he realizes he can’t skirt the issue anymore. He has to just come out and say it. “Like if I want to experience a woman’s body.”
“Like dressing up like a woman? That’s weird, oppa.” Inside, she’s dying at how frustrated he looks, but she is not going to let up. She’s going to let him come out and say it. “Why would you want to dress up like a woman? Are you…?”
“No! Geez! I mean, what if I want to have sex. Are you saying that we could?”
She feigns surprise. “Omo! You do that? Have meaningless sex and contact with women?”
“No, but…”
“I don’t know if I could do that unless I have feelings for someone.”
“But you said that this doesn’t need to be complicated. Don’t feelings complicate everything? What if you and I do start to hang out more and get more physical, like what happened tonight, and it goes on until we hit a fever pitch and the next step is sex. If it’s not complicated, we’d do it, right?”
“But sex would make things more complicated.” He’s smiling at her and she can’t help but look away.
“Then what did you mean when you said things don’t have to be complicated?”
“I mean that we don’t have to overthink everything. Don’t worry about what it all means, now or later, and just allowing ourselves to feel connected to each other. Just relish feeing love and being affectionate at the current moment.”
He pulls her toward him, allowing her to assume the previous position beside him and she acquiesces.
“Baby?” he says softly in her hair.
“Mmm?”
“So what happens tonight is only for tonight?”
“Yeah.”
He’s quiet again and she cuddles against him, her arm over his stomach, hugging him closer.
“I love you, jagi-ya,” he says clearly, and she can feel the heat rise to her face. “I fell in love with you on the first day we met, and I’ve loved you every day since.” She doesn’t move. She’s frozen, but it seems he doesn’t care and keeps on talking. “I love your smile and your laugh, and your beautiful face and if I could wake up to you everyday for the rest of my life, I’d be the happiest man in the world.”
She knows he's harbored feelings for her, but she's kept him at arms distance, that is, until now, so she clears her throat and the words get stuck, but she tries again. “I love you, nampyeon. I miss you when you’re not around and I’m so happy when you are.”
She tilts her head back to look up at him and he leans in to kiss her gently on the lips and she melts under his touch, but he’s not satisfied with the chasteness of a single kiss and he swoops in, cradling her face in his hand and deepening their kiss, mouths open, tongues softly caressing in exchange. A sigh escapes her and he pulls her even closer to him so that there is no space between them. He guides them to lie down, continuing to kiss her in ways that she knows is making her eyes roll to the back of her head behind her eyelids.
He pecks her cheek and begins planting kisses at her jawline, then down her neck before returning to her mouth, kissing her so deeply that with every pass she feels lightheaded and like he’s stealing her breath. He finally stops and she keeps her eyes closed, her lips still pursed and missing his mouth, but she opens her eyes and he’s looking at her dreamily, while she smiles at him, in an obvious daze.
“I meant every word, you know, Soeun-ah.”
“Nado.”
“Even if only for tonight and none of it will matter in the morning, I wanted you to at least know.”
“It’s already morning,” she says, showing him his watch. “And it still matters.”
He kisses her again and this time, it won’t just be temporary and mean nothing. It means everything, now and always.