Procrastination..hmm......
I'm posting, because I really don't want to do anything related to my Psychology project right now. I'll get to it.... eventually. I really want to be productive today, but its just not happening. This morning I got up and went to the farmer's market with Mom. Not too much success this time. We bought strawberries (which are always delicious), swiss chard (which just makes me snicker... teeheehee...CHARD), califlower, and nuts & banana chips. Then we went for a walk at El Dorado, and followed it up with a delicious visit to Grounds. Once I got home.. I really didn't do much, except for downloading Digsby(which is the greatest thing ever.. how will I ever get anything done ever again?). I should keep practicing my Dutch, but ever since I got my period, I just find myself getting annoyed with Rosetta Stone and how it doesn't recognize that I'm saying the correct word with the correct pronunciation. My mom speaks Dutch and she says that the computer is saying it wrong: most frustrating thing ever. Oh, I might be going back to Holland sooner than anticipated. I really hope I get to see Lyon before he leaves for the army. I really do love him, but it is probably one of those things that will never be.
Speaking of my period, which I know is not the best topic of discussion, I need to vent about it. I'm off the pill for the first time in a while, and not by my choosing. Now my body is going crazy and I'm miserable and irrational and emotional and it's horrible. I broke down and cried because I was running late for work yesterday. I cried because I was running late for work yesterday. I had this little kid fit, and its horrible. I realize how psycho I used to be, and how I really need the pill to make things better. That makes me feel like such a junkie, but it really does make me a better person. I'm pretty in control of myself, but not now. It's a nightmare.
I'm totally relieved that I got into CSULB without any of this pre-major bullshit. It's great and I'm proud of myself, but ever since I've been accepted I can't stand LBCC. I just want to move on more than ever now. I just don't care about much of anything right now. I mean, I have 7 more weeks of school, and then I'm transferring. I had my bike stolen, which is one of my few possessions that is of value to me. There is more, but I'm lazy and don't feel like writing anymore. Again, I just don't care. It's a problem. Tomorrow I should really go to the shelter for a few hours... but that probably won't happen.
I'm getting a kitten, which is weird for me, because I'm usually anti-kitten. Well, I love other people's kittens and playing with kittens, but they're pretty stupid and I always have had the worst luck with the kittens that grew up into cats when I was a kid. BUT, this is MY kitten. I'm going to train him and try to see if I can shape him into the cat I want. We'll see. He's orange and I'm naming him Huckle after Huckle Cat, the protagonist of the Busy World of Richard Scarry, which I always adored as a child. As he ages, I might start calling him Huck for short, but I'm going to pay for everything, and he's going to be my responsibility. He'll be my therapy animal. He'll help with my stress. Yeah.. that's it. I need someone to love and care for, but not a boy.. I do not want to care about a person right now.. not like that. Fuck that. I'm all that matters to me right now.
So, my heart problems were caused by lifestyle factors such as stress, diet,and lack of exercise. My doctor said that I've already done everything that I can do to fix the problem. I've lost weight, I'm exercising regularly, eating healthier, getting enough water, getting enough sleep, taking my vitamins, and reducing my stress level. I'm not getting the chest pains anymore, so, yeah, I'm really proud of myself and thankful that its behind me.
Ok, I'm exhausted, and I'm probably not going to get any work done today. Tomorrow will hopefully be better.
Tot ziens!
Speaking of my period, which I know is not the best topic of discussion, I need to vent about it. I'm off the pill for the first time in a while, and not by my choosing. Now my body is going crazy and I'm miserable and irrational and emotional and it's horrible. I broke down and cried because I was running late for work yesterday. I cried because I was running late for work yesterday. I had this little kid fit, and its horrible. I realize how psycho I used to be, and how I really need the pill to make things better. That makes me feel like such a junkie, but it really does make me a better person. I'm pretty in control of myself, but not now. It's a nightmare.
I'm totally relieved that I got into CSULB without any of this pre-major bullshit. It's great and I'm proud of myself, but ever since I've been accepted I can't stand LBCC. I just want to move on more than ever now. I just don't care about much of anything right now. I mean, I have 7 more weeks of school, and then I'm transferring. I had my bike stolen, which is one of my few possessions that is of value to me. There is more, but I'm lazy and don't feel like writing anymore. Again, I just don't care. It's a problem. Tomorrow I should really go to the shelter for a few hours... but that probably won't happen.
I'm getting a kitten, which is weird for me, because I'm usually anti-kitten. Well, I love other people's kittens and playing with kittens, but they're pretty stupid and I always have had the worst luck with the kittens that grew up into cats when I was a kid. BUT, this is MY kitten. I'm going to train him and try to see if I can shape him into the cat I want. We'll see. He's orange and I'm naming him Huckle after Huckle Cat, the protagonist of the Busy World of Richard Scarry, which I always adored as a child. As he ages, I might start calling him Huck for short, but I'm going to pay for everything, and he's going to be my responsibility. He'll be my therapy animal. He'll help with my stress. Yeah.. that's it. I need someone to love and care for, but not a boy.. I do not want to care about a person right now.. not like that. Fuck that. I'm all that matters to me right now.
So, my heart problems were caused by lifestyle factors such as stress, diet,and lack of exercise. My doctor said that I've already done everything that I can do to fix the problem. I've lost weight, I'm exercising regularly, eating healthier, getting enough water, getting enough sleep, taking my vitamins, and reducing my stress level. I'm not getting the chest pains anymore, so, yeah, I'm really proud of myself and thankful that its behind me.
Ok, I'm exhausted, and I'm probably not going to get any work done today. Tomorrow will hopefully be better.
Tot ziens!