(no subject)
As I'm writing this, I am absolutely furious. To some, it might seem like nothing major, but to me it's a big deal because I have to put up with this shit all the time. :/ My stepmother wants to ground me because I didn't understand that "I'll see you sometime that afternoon" meant "Get your ass home before six or you're grounded." I got home at midnight, which is my Saturday night curfew, and did both my dishes that I'd missed from Friday and my sister's dishes that she was supposed to do that night but couldn't because I'd not done my dishes, as well as cleaned off the counters and swept the floors, but that's not good enough for her. Nothing I do is ever good enough for this woman. According to her, I am selfish and only care about myself, I never do anything for anyone besides myself unless there's an ulterior motive behind it, and I just want to do whatever I want without regard for other people and their feelings. Anyone who knows me knows that this is complete and utter bullshit, and that I am not what she portrays me to be.
I am frustrated because any time I try to explain why I did what I did or question why she is choosing to punish me for something I didn't do (or something that isn't even against "the rules"), she gets pissed at me and tries to tell me that she can do whatever she wants because she's my parental figure. This is not a good reason because I am an adult, as much as I may not act like a stuck up bitch (which apparently qualifies you for adulthood), and have the authority to do what I want. I am respectful and I come home on time, get my chores done, and am polite to these people even though they don't deserve it half the time. I am failing to see why I deserve this sort of treatment in my own household. I don't even want to be here anymore, it's so bad. I just want to get the fuck out of here and never come back. It's a good thing I graduate in a couple of weeks; I plan on moving out as soon as fucking possible. Rargh.
This hasn't been a good Easter so far, obviously. Hopefully things pick up soon. This weekend was fantastic, but then this had to happen.I suppose I should just start expecting something terrible to happen any time I have a good couple of days in a row. It will inevitably get all fucked up. :/ It's bad when you feel more at home with another person's family than you do your own. My best friend's family is the only place that I feel at home. It truly is. They acknowledge me as family and treat me like one of their own; it's wonderful. I have never felt like I belonged anywhere until I met these people. I fit in perfectly. They've been so great to me over the past year, and I'll never be able to repay them for their kindness and hospitality. I love each and every one of them so much. I know that no matter what, they'll always be there for me. It's a good feeling, especially because I don't feel that way at home. My family doesn't even care what's going on with me, unless it fucks with their plans. Then I'm a huge problem child who never does anything right. But at least I have somewhere I belong. There's always a positive to every negative. :)
I am frustrated because any time I try to explain why I did what I did or question why she is choosing to punish me for something I didn't do (or something that isn't even against "the rules"), she gets pissed at me and tries to tell me that she can do whatever she wants because she's my parental figure. This is not a good reason because I am an adult, as much as I may not act like a stuck up bitch (which apparently qualifies you for adulthood), and have the authority to do what I want. I am respectful and I come home on time, get my chores done, and am polite to these people even though they don't deserve it half the time. I am failing to see why I deserve this sort of treatment in my own household. I don't even want to be here anymore, it's so bad. I just want to get the fuck out of here and never come back. It's a good thing I graduate in a couple of weeks; I plan on moving out as soon as fucking possible. Rargh.
This hasn't been a good Easter so far, obviously. Hopefully things pick up soon. This weekend was fantastic, but then this had to happen.I suppose I should just start expecting something terrible to happen any time I have a good couple of days in a row. It will inevitably get all fucked up. :/ It's bad when you feel more at home with another person's family than you do your own. My best friend's family is the only place that I feel at home. It truly is. They acknowledge me as family and treat me like one of their own; it's wonderful. I have never felt like I belonged anywhere until I met these people. I fit in perfectly. They've been so great to me over the past year, and I'll never be able to repay them for their kindness and hospitality. I love each and every one of them so much. I know that no matter what, they'll always be there for me. It's a good feeling, especially because I don't feel that way at home. My family doesn't even care what's going on with me, unless it fucks with their plans. Then I'm a huge problem child who never does anything right. But at least I have somewhere I belong. There's always a positive to every negative. :)