(no subject)
i know i just put an entry in here but whatever...some things really bothering me.
ive lost my best friend(s). i hate that ive drifted from everything i was. its like im a new person. im so differet from who i was last year. i feel horrible for what i did to ally too. it sucks and wsa a bad thing to do, i know everyone thinks it. ive pushed it away for all this time and its just now slapping me in the face. im sorry ally for everything, it was probably the worst thing ive ever done and i know you hate me for it...and if you dont then you should but im realy sorry. then i got really close to livi and now ive even drifted away from that relationship. i didnt even know she was out of town... we dont tell each other everything anymore..i guess thats due to the fact that we never see each other but i hate it. i dont have a best friend... ive always had a best friend my entire life. this semester has pretty much been the worst..i hate that noone really knows me. i dont tell anyone anything...its horrible. i really miss ally and i really miss livi and i really miss everyhing... it really doesnt help that youth has completely changed. every week its just an eye opener that everything is horrible, i dread it more and more eevery week, it just gets worse and worse. me and livi dont even sit together now....
but i do love who i am now, i love cheerleading and i love my friends. like i read in a book once that youll know you really love something when you loose track of time when youre doing it, thats how it is with cheerleading and tumbling and stuff, i know im new to it and all that but like even when i sucked at tumbling i loooooved it, it seemed like only 10 minutes had gone by when it had been an hour. i loved tryouts even, i cant wait until next year! and camp!!!!! i jsut wish there was someone i could trust to talk to.at the beginning of the year i did tell things to people, assuming they woulnd tell anyone bc i was so used to ally not telling anything i told her to anyone, no matter what. i was deffinately wrong by a long shot. i was so clueless to how mean girls are. i thought everyone could keep secrets, i was so wrong. anyways im pretty much just missing doing something with her every weekend and always having plans. im really sorry, ill never forget the good old days.
that was like the most emo thing ive ever done.
ive lost my best friend(s). i hate that ive drifted from everything i was. its like im a new person. im so differet from who i was last year. i feel horrible for what i did to ally too. it sucks and wsa a bad thing to do, i know everyone thinks it. ive pushed it away for all this time and its just now slapping me in the face. im sorry ally for everything, it was probably the worst thing ive ever done and i know you hate me for it...and if you dont then you should but im realy sorry. then i got really close to livi and now ive even drifted away from that relationship. i didnt even know she was out of town... we dont tell each other everything anymore..i guess thats due to the fact that we never see each other but i hate it. i dont have a best friend... ive always had a best friend my entire life. this semester has pretty much been the worst..i hate that noone really knows me. i dont tell anyone anything...its horrible. i really miss ally and i really miss livi and i really miss everyhing... it really doesnt help that youth has completely changed. every week its just an eye opener that everything is horrible, i dread it more and more eevery week, it just gets worse and worse. me and livi dont even sit together now....
but i do love who i am now, i love cheerleading and i love my friends. like i read in a book once that youll know you really love something when you loose track of time when youre doing it, thats how it is with cheerleading and tumbling and stuff, i know im new to it and all that but like even when i sucked at tumbling i loooooved it, it seemed like only 10 minutes had gone by when it had been an hour. i loved tryouts even, i cant wait until next year! and camp!!!!! i jsut wish there was someone i could trust to talk to.at the beginning of the year i did tell things to people, assuming they woulnd tell anyone bc i was so used to ally not telling anything i told her to anyone, no matter what. i was deffinately wrong by a long shot. i was so clueless to how mean girls are. i thought everyone could keep secrets, i was so wrong. anyways im pretty much just missing doing something with her every weekend and always having plans. im really sorry, ill never forget the good old days.
that was like the most emo thing ive ever done.