Tim Hortons and a looming sense of mortality
It’s 7:55am, usually this is about the time i’m policing the sktrain station for bad apples.
For example I have completely taken it upon myself to teach the masses at Scott Road about basic physics. I realize it was an easier choice to take biology or chemistry in high school but it’s absolutely astounding how nobody seems to get the idea that
-Train stops
-People get off
-People get on
Every morning I stick my little chicken wings out and barrel out the door in the dead centre. Usually I take out an average of two people who mindlessly slam right into me as if I wasn’t expecting it. I’m sure the only people that learned their lesson were the two with coffee a few weeks ago.
Also, I have to police the bus line with my oh so feminine death glare. Seriously, don’t even think about mulling around the front of the line checking what time the bus comes. You are not fooling me, and are not sneaking into the front under my watch.
However today, i’m sitting in my pyjamas catching up here. My work clothes aren’t even in the dryer, and my hair has reached proportions so large it’s going to take a parisian team to detangle.
Why is this you ask?
Well I had new neighbours move in next door. I was willing to forgive them for putting out those silvery ikea lawn chairs on their patio and even the 6 foot couch moving gash they left in the hallway. The apartment next door is the only unit that can really see my patio of debauchery so I was considering making nice with them….until….the music started.
Pounding through the walls at 10pm…11pm….11:45pm….BOOM BOOM WAAAH NO AAAIIIRRR LA LA BOOM BOOM BOOOOM
At first the french man being the chivalrous man of my dreams pulled on pants and tried to tell them to turn it down. Which they obliged but that stereo must be firmly planted towards my headboard because on and on it went relentlessly. My eyes started quivering and that rage lump filled my esophagous, my hands started shaking violently and I shot out of bed like a crazy woman (all the worse because my hair is wild) and started pounding on their wall. ‘
The words escaped my lips and tumbled off my tongue before I even had a chance to realize what I was doing.
TURN THAT FUCKING MUSIC DOWN…..GAWD I HATE KIDS!!!
Now i’m overtired, cranky, late for work, and considering taking up knitting. Since i’m obviously 100 years old.
In lighter news….
Due to the torrential downpour and the complete lack of spring here in Vancouver I convinced Mike to give up his normal ice cappucino and replace it with a hot butter caramel smoothie. Everything was going swimmingly as he related how appreciative he was to have something warm on the patio and how deliciously right I was about the change. Even better, it was his first opportunity to RRRRRoll up the rim to win.
Unfortunately, he is obviously a RRRRRUTRTW newbie because he spilled hot butter caramel smoothie all over his crotch.
Also....up and running i'm pleased to share
My New Blog
For example I have completely taken it upon myself to teach the masses at Scott Road about basic physics. I realize it was an easier choice to take biology or chemistry in high school but it’s absolutely astounding how nobody seems to get the idea that
-Train stops
-People get off
-People get on
Every morning I stick my little chicken wings out and barrel out the door in the dead centre. Usually I take out an average of two people who mindlessly slam right into me as if I wasn’t expecting it. I’m sure the only people that learned their lesson were the two with coffee a few weeks ago.
Also, I have to police the bus line with my oh so feminine death glare. Seriously, don’t even think about mulling around the front of the line checking what time the bus comes. You are not fooling me, and are not sneaking into the front under my watch.
However today, i’m sitting in my pyjamas catching up here. My work clothes aren’t even in the dryer, and my hair has reached proportions so large it’s going to take a parisian team to detangle.
Why is this you ask?
Well I had new neighbours move in next door. I was willing to forgive them for putting out those silvery ikea lawn chairs on their patio and even the 6 foot couch moving gash they left in the hallway. The apartment next door is the only unit that can really see my patio of debauchery so I was considering making nice with them….until….the music started.
Pounding through the walls at 10pm…11pm….11:45pm….BOOM BOOM WAAAH NO AAAIIIRRR LA LA BOOM BOOM BOOOOM
At first the french man being the chivalrous man of my dreams pulled on pants and tried to tell them to turn it down. Which they obliged but that stereo must be firmly planted towards my headboard because on and on it went relentlessly. My eyes started quivering and that rage lump filled my esophagous, my hands started shaking violently and I shot out of bed like a crazy woman (all the worse because my hair is wild) and started pounding on their wall. ‘
The words escaped my lips and tumbled off my tongue before I even had a chance to realize what I was doing.
TURN THAT FUCKING MUSIC DOWN…..GAWD I HATE KIDS!!!
Now i’m overtired, cranky, late for work, and considering taking up knitting. Since i’m obviously 100 years old.
In lighter news….
Due to the torrential downpour and the complete lack of spring here in Vancouver I convinced Mike to give up his normal ice cappucino and replace it with a hot butter caramel smoothie. Everything was going swimmingly as he related how appreciative he was to have something warm on the patio and how deliciously right I was about the change. Even better, it was his first opportunity to RRRRRoll up the rim to win.
Unfortunately, he is obviously a RRRRRUTRTW newbie because he spilled hot butter caramel smoothie all over his crotch.
Also....up and running i'm pleased to share
My New Blog