(no subject)
I don't know why the idea of skydiving suddenly entered into me as an intense desire.
... I mean, it's not the first time I've entertained the idea -- but there's just something so vivid about it this time that it's keeping me from sleeping.
I guess there's just something I'm envisioning about it: the way I would jump off from a high point and throw myself at the mercy of gravity -- except, of course, that gravity itself has none. And so, I'd begin a high-speed descent towards the earth.
And yet, in those moments when I'm falling, it'd feel like I'm somehow flying. Like I'm just in mid-air, with the winds blowing forcefully against me, the world so far below. I don't think "peaceful" would be accurate -- again, the heavy winds and the acceleration toward the earth -- but it would maybe feel, what, maybe... awakening.
And then, the end would be accentuated by a heavy upward force against my body as my opened parachute violently tugs against me -- and then, I'm just floating down to earth; guiding myself toward the landing point, safe in the parachute's hold.
Of course, not having actually engaged in it, this is all heavily idealized. The actual experience could maybe be much more terrifying -- and yet, somehow, that seems to be part of what would make it so exhilarating.
It could just be a whim, something that passes over me by morning. In any case, it's not quite something I can afford right now -- but it still feels like such a heavy desire, to do something along those lines.
... hell, I don't know what's come over me, really. But it somehow feels awesome, in the truest sense of the word.
... I mean, it's not the first time I've entertained the idea -- but there's just something so vivid about it this time that it's keeping me from sleeping.
I guess there's just something I'm envisioning about it: the way I would jump off from a high point and throw myself at the mercy of gravity -- except, of course, that gravity itself has none. And so, I'd begin a high-speed descent towards the earth.
And yet, in those moments when I'm falling, it'd feel like I'm somehow flying. Like I'm just in mid-air, with the winds blowing forcefully against me, the world so far below. I don't think "peaceful" would be accurate -- again, the heavy winds and the acceleration toward the earth -- but it would maybe feel, what, maybe... awakening.
And then, the end would be accentuated by a heavy upward force against my body as my opened parachute violently tugs against me -- and then, I'm just floating down to earth; guiding myself toward the landing point, safe in the parachute's hold.
Of course, not having actually engaged in it, this is all heavily idealized. The actual experience could maybe be much more terrifying -- and yet, somehow, that seems to be part of what would make it so exhilarating.
It could just be a whim, something that passes over me by morning. In any case, it's not quite something I can afford right now -- but it still feels like such a heavy desire, to do something along those lines.
... hell, I don't know what's come over me, really. But it somehow feels awesome, in the truest sense of the word.