Death of 1,000 Welts
This weekend I went to play Paintball.
I've only played one other time. But this weekend was a good recipe for turning the newbie into a diehard in a few easy steps.
I had intentionally not been thinking about the weekend so I wouldn't stress over it. Yeah, it's supposed to be fun, but I'm busy enough these days that prepping for anything, much less anything that takes two days, is a stressor. So when I started actually reading about the game on Thursday night I learned some important info. I knew it was a 26-hour game and that there was night play. I knew there would be hundreds of people. I thought the theme was WWII, but actually it was WWI. What I did really not comprehend was: This is a game for Nerds. It wasn't just a theme game. It was a LARP for paintballers. Woot, I can speak LARP, bring it!
I knew we were hanging out with some dudes that Scott knew that were heavy into paintball. I did not quite appreciate the fact that we were staying with two of the original founders of the paintball park we were at (http://splatbrothers.com/) ...one of whom owned the land that it sits upon. Oh yeah. So, esentially, we were in the best camping spot in the whole farm, where they'd used an old paintball prop to erect a door into the campsite which was between a soybean field and a wood (privacy, anyone?). They had a trailer full of gear, gave us each a set of kneepads, and provided several of us with guns, air tanks, "pods" (plastic tubes about the size of a 20-oz soda bottle for holding ammo), packs for holding pods and other gear...basically, set our asses up. All we had to pay for ourselves were our entry fees and our ammo.
That was the most fun I've ever had with a bunch of dudes in the woods, hands down (heads down, too, often). It all jumbles up in my head, but damn, running, jumping, shooting, hiding, patrolling, scouting, getting shot at, and getting shot are all FUN. I can't narrate the whole thing because it would be a novella, so I shall share with you my favorite episode.
I can't remember if we were sent, but Chase and I were in an area to the left of our main base where (with the base behind you about 100 yards) there is a grit-gravel hill that leads down to a road. To the right of the hill is a thick woods that also leads down to the road. We're in a clearing just before the hill and woods. Well lo and behold, two fellas are coming out of the woods. I'm about 20 feet from the woodline and Chase is right at the woodline another 20 feet to my right. The guy in the lead spots me. Now, when you have a gun (excuse me, a "marker") and you're looking to shoot (er, "mark") somebody, there's a key moment of hesitation whenever you meet someone you don't expect to see there. The leader hesitates and I shout "WHO ARE YOU?" and drop back ten feet and get a big pallet barrier between myself and them. No answer, so I figure they're blue (our hated enemies). He knows I'm there but has no clue about Chase. I can't see any more, so I wait 5 seconds or so and then get a line of sight just in time to see Chase point at the guy and yell, "TAKE THE SHOT!" (to give him a chance to surrender). He does the dumb thing and points at Chase so Chase lights him up. I drop to a knee and light up his buddy and--bonus!--his other buddy that I didn't notice before! Both about 5 feet back into the woods.
There were many, many other encounters like that one. Chase and I learned how to TOTALLY screw up a roadside ambush against superior forces (though it was funny to listen to one of them expound upon how they should take care because there were so many hiding places up the road before they made it to our position). It wasn't all walk-and-stalk; there was plenty of pitched battles, too. I didn't touch the night stuff--there are guys out there with NV goggles and that's just suicide (for your character and for your ankles; yikes!).
The camping aspect was as fun as camping is, PLUS paintball. All of us around there became pretty fast friends. To make a long story short, we might just take the plunge and register ourselves as a Paintball Team. We have infected these people with our Pirate meme, and so the team is set to become DPSP: Dyslexic Pirates Scenario Paintball. Our battle cry is "RAAAA!"
All you have to do to "be" a team is call yourselves something and play at least 3 events a year as your team. Well sign me up, fellas, because that is some fun right there.
One day I might even own my own equipment. ;)
So there you have it, from rank newbie to hanging out with the owner's group and talking of starting a team with them in one weekend. That's the fast track if I've ever seen it!
DPSP is: Omar, Pickle, Chase, Pinky, Scott, Pete, Red, and Jimmy. We would be happy to meet shoot you on the field!
I've only played one other time. But this weekend was a good recipe for turning the newbie into a diehard in a few easy steps.
I had intentionally not been thinking about the weekend so I wouldn't stress over it. Yeah, it's supposed to be fun, but I'm busy enough these days that prepping for anything, much less anything that takes two days, is a stressor. So when I started actually reading about the game on Thursday night I learned some important info. I knew it was a 26-hour game and that there was night play. I knew there would be hundreds of people. I thought the theme was WWII, but actually it was WWI. What I did really not comprehend was: This is a game for Nerds. It wasn't just a theme game. It was a LARP for paintballers. Woot, I can speak LARP, bring it!
I knew we were hanging out with some dudes that Scott knew that were heavy into paintball. I did not quite appreciate the fact that we were staying with two of the original founders of the paintball park we were at (http://splatbrothers.com/) ...one of whom owned the land that it sits upon. Oh yeah. So, esentially, we were in the best camping spot in the whole farm, where they'd used an old paintball prop to erect a door into the campsite which was between a soybean field and a wood (privacy, anyone?). They had a trailer full of gear, gave us each a set of kneepads, and provided several of us with guns, air tanks, "pods" (plastic tubes about the size of a 20-oz soda bottle for holding ammo), packs for holding pods and other gear...basically, set our asses up. All we had to pay for ourselves were our entry fees and our ammo.
That was the most fun I've ever had with a bunch of dudes in the woods, hands down (heads down, too, often). It all jumbles up in my head, but damn, running, jumping, shooting, hiding, patrolling, scouting, getting shot at, and getting shot are all FUN. I can't narrate the whole thing because it would be a novella, so I shall share with you my favorite episode.
I can't remember if we were sent, but Chase and I were in an area to the left of our main base where (with the base behind you about 100 yards) there is a grit-gravel hill that leads down to a road. To the right of the hill is a thick woods that also leads down to the road. We're in a clearing just before the hill and woods. Well lo and behold, two fellas are coming out of the woods. I'm about 20 feet from the woodline and Chase is right at the woodline another 20 feet to my right. The guy in the lead spots me. Now, when you have a gun (excuse me, a "marker") and you're looking to shoot (er, "mark") somebody, there's a key moment of hesitation whenever you meet someone you don't expect to see there. The leader hesitates and I shout "WHO ARE YOU?" and drop back ten feet and get a big pallet barrier between myself and them. No answer, so I figure they're blue (our hated enemies). He knows I'm there but has no clue about Chase. I can't see any more, so I wait 5 seconds or so and then get a line of sight just in time to see Chase point at the guy and yell, "TAKE THE SHOT!" (to give him a chance to surrender). He does the dumb thing and points at Chase so Chase lights him up. I drop to a knee and light up his buddy and--bonus!--his other buddy that I didn't notice before! Both about 5 feet back into the woods.
There were many, many other encounters like that one. Chase and I learned how to TOTALLY screw up a roadside ambush against superior forces (though it was funny to listen to one of them expound upon how they should take care because there were so many hiding places up the road before they made it to our position). It wasn't all walk-and-stalk; there was plenty of pitched battles, too. I didn't touch the night stuff--there are guys out there with NV goggles and that's just suicide (for your character and for your ankles; yikes!).
The camping aspect was as fun as camping is, PLUS paintball. All of us around there became pretty fast friends. To make a long story short, we might just take the plunge and register ourselves as a Paintball Team. We have infected these people with our Pirate meme, and so the team is set to become DPSP: Dyslexic Pirates Scenario Paintball. Our battle cry is "RAAAA!"
All you have to do to "be" a team is call yourselves something and play at least 3 events a year as your team. Well sign me up, fellas, because that is some fun right there.
One day I might even own my own equipment. ;)
So there you have it, from rank newbie to hanging out with the owner's group and talking of starting a team with them in one weekend. That's the fast track if I've ever seen it!
DPSP is: Omar, Pickle, Chase, Pinky, Scott, Pete, Red, and Jimmy. We would be happy to meet shoot you on the field!