french-style baguette
INGREDIENT BITS
4 C flour
2 t salt
2 T honey or sugar
1.5 T yeast or 1 block / 2 packets
1 C warm water
oil for greasing
corn meal for BEAUTEOUS BEAUTY (optional ingredient)
ice for BEAUTEOUS BEAUTY (optional ingredient)
OVEN
preheat to 450°F or 230°C
bake 15 min / until golden brown
WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THIS SHIT
1. Mix flour, salt, sugar, and yeast in a large bowl.
2. Add warm water and mix until you have a horrible sticky mess.
3. Scrape the mess off the mixing spoon with your hands, and continue mixing with your hands until ingredients resemble dough.
3.5. Add more flour if it is too sticky and water if too dry.
4-∞. KNEAD FOREVER.
5. When dough is elastic or you get bored, grease it up and throw it back into the bowl.
6. Cover with a cloth and let rise in a warm place.
7. After it has doubled, punch it down like a misbehaving child and shape it into loaves. This recipe is supposed to make two 14”x2” loaves, but do whatever feels right to you. Vulgar shapes, anatomically correct heart bread, whatever.
8. Sprinkle a baking sheet with cornmeal or grease it with more oil, and leave loaves to rise again.
9. After they have doubled, throw them into your preheated oven and bake them for 15 minutes until they are golden brown and magically delicious. If you want super epic crust, throw ice in the bottom of the oven when you put the loaves in.
10. Eat the bread.
NOTE: Flavor text is for flavor. Don't hit kids.
VARIATION 1: herby bread
add 1/4-1/2c herbs de provence and 1/4-1/2t black pepper.
basil, oregano, fennel, and chili pepper is also a tasty combo.
VARIATION 2: cheesy bread
mix 1-2c shredded cheese into the dough. a little tomato paste can be tasty, too.
VARIATION 3: delicious animal flesh
bacon or ham (+diced onion?) would probably be good with this, esp the cheese version.
4 C flour
2 t salt
2 T honey or sugar
1.5 T yeast or 1 block / 2 packets
1 C warm water
oil for greasing
corn meal for BEAUTEOUS BEAUTY (optional ingredient)
ice for BEAUTEOUS BEAUTY (optional ingredient)
OVEN
preheat to 450°F or 230°C
bake 15 min / until golden brown
WHAT TO DO WITH ALL THIS SHIT
1. Mix flour, salt, sugar, and yeast in a large bowl.
2. Add warm water and mix until you have a horrible sticky mess.
3. Scrape the mess off the mixing spoon with your hands, and continue mixing with your hands until ingredients resemble dough.
3.5. Add more flour if it is too sticky and water if too dry.
4-∞. KNEAD FOREVER.
5. When dough is elastic or you get bored, grease it up and throw it back into the bowl.
6. Cover with a cloth and let rise in a warm place.
7. After it has doubled, punch it down like a misbehaving child and shape it into loaves. This recipe is supposed to make two 14”x2” loaves, but do whatever feels right to you. Vulgar shapes, anatomically correct heart bread, whatever.
8. Sprinkle a baking sheet with cornmeal or grease it with more oil, and leave loaves to rise again.
9. After they have doubled, throw them into your preheated oven and bake them for 15 minutes until they are golden brown and magically delicious. If you want super epic crust, throw ice in the bottom of the oven when you put the loaves in.
10. Eat the bread.
NOTE: Flavor text is for flavor. Don't hit kids.
VARIATION 1: herby bread
add 1/4-1/2c herbs de provence and 1/4-1/2t black pepper.
basil, oregano, fennel, and chili pepper is also a tasty combo.
VARIATION 2: cheesy bread
mix 1-2c shredded cheese into the dough. a little tomato paste can be tasty, too.
VARIATION 3: delicious animal flesh
bacon or ham (+diced onion?) would probably be good with this, esp the cheese version.