Remembering Mom
Today is my mother's birthday. She died 5 years ago -- right before her 68th birthday, a few days before mother's day.
She was a lovely woman and a wonderful teacher. She shared with me her love of books and the importance of knowledge. She took the time to listen to my thoughts and ideas. Each weekday morning during summer vacation she would have me sit and do math problems, study vocabulary words, and read before I could go off and have fun. She diligently checked my homework each night. That's how it was living with a fifth grade teacher. Growing up people would ask if I would become a teacher too and follow in my mother's footsteps. I would always say no. I didn't want to grow up to become my mother, I thought she had a dull life. I wanted to be myself. I spent time watching her and figuring out how I was different, what made me unique.
Looking back, I realize some of the best memories I have with my mom were things I taught her. Bringing her to art museums and explaining about the artist's brush strokes and how light entered a painting. Traveling with her to Paris and Italy and plotting adventures to show her public transportation is something to conquer not fear in a land where we didn't speak the language. Providing music for impromptu dance parties in the living room to make a terrible day better. Screaming in the car wash tunnel when the soapy octopus arms come to clean the car just because sometimes it's more fun to act like a little kid when no one is watching.
Her advice when Wee One was born, "Trust yourself. You may be a businesswoman at work, but motherhood will define you. You'll be a really great teacher for your child and I know you will be a wonderful mother." It was hard advice to take while I worked all through maternity leave and Trophy Husband was working two jobs so we could pay our bills. I would tear-up having to put my baby in daycare during the week and then drive down to NY to be with my mother as she was dying from Ovarian Cancer. She told me she couldn't be a very good grandmother while in a hospice but she wanted to give my child and future children a gift of having their mother. She told me that when she died I was to sell her house and quit my job as soon as I could. "Take all your creative energy and pour it into motherhood," she said "Trust me, you won't regret it. The best gift I could give my grandchildren is your undivided attention to be their mother, to just be you." She was right.
I guess I did follow in my mother's footsteps after all. I look forward to Wee One coming home from school and sharing with me what she learned that day. I enjoy showing Wee Two all the details in the illustrations of her picture books. I enjoy being me...being a mom. Thanks Mom. I love you.
She was a lovely woman and a wonderful teacher. She shared with me her love of books and the importance of knowledge. She took the time to listen to my thoughts and ideas. Each weekday morning during summer vacation she would have me sit and do math problems, study vocabulary words, and read before I could go off and have fun. She diligently checked my homework each night. That's how it was living with a fifth grade teacher. Growing up people would ask if I would become a teacher too and follow in my mother's footsteps. I would always say no. I didn't want to grow up to become my mother, I thought she had a dull life. I wanted to be myself. I spent time watching her and figuring out how I was different, what made me unique.
Looking back, I realize some of the best memories I have with my mom were things I taught her. Bringing her to art museums and explaining about the artist's brush strokes and how light entered a painting. Traveling with her to Paris and Italy and plotting adventures to show her public transportation is something to conquer not fear in a land where we didn't speak the language. Providing music for impromptu dance parties in the living room to make a terrible day better. Screaming in the car wash tunnel when the soapy octopus arms come to clean the car just because sometimes it's more fun to act like a little kid when no one is watching.
Her advice when Wee One was born, "Trust yourself. You may be a businesswoman at work, but motherhood will define you. You'll be a really great teacher for your child and I know you will be a wonderful mother." It was hard advice to take while I worked all through maternity leave and Trophy Husband was working two jobs so we could pay our bills. I would tear-up having to put my baby in daycare during the week and then drive down to NY to be with my mother as she was dying from Ovarian Cancer. She told me she couldn't be a very good grandmother while in a hospice but she wanted to give my child and future children a gift of having their mother. She told me that when she died I was to sell her house and quit my job as soon as I could. "Take all your creative energy and pour it into motherhood," she said "Trust me, you won't regret it. The best gift I could give my grandchildren is your undivided attention to be their mother, to just be you." She was right.
I guess I did follow in my mother's footsteps after all. I look forward to Wee One coming home from school and sharing with me what she learned that day. I enjoy showing Wee Two all the details in the illustrations of her picture books. I enjoy being me...being a mom. Thanks Mom. I love you.