As the Water Swirls (Episode 5 - Arrested Development)
TITLE: As the Water Swirls (Episode 5 - Arrested Development)
AUTHORS: krystinag tragic-eyes88
RATING: PG-13 (Profanity and sexual content)
DISCLAIMER: We do not personally know, nor are we affiliated with anyone (Except ourselves!) written about in this fan-fic. All events are fiction unless otherwise stated. The opinions expressed are solely of the authors and are meant for entertainment purposes only. No disrespect is intended to the celebrities mentioned or their fans.
SUMMARY: Amanda gets arrested and Michael almost runs down a poor old lady because Amanda can't keep her hands off him.
PAIRING/CHARACTERS: Michael Phelps, Amanda Beard, Alain Bernard, Emma Montgomery, Krystina Chastain, Prison Guards.
NOTES: Funny stuff!!!
Michael stood motionless in front of the door.
"Michael don't be silly you can drop by anytime you like even at 3am. Come on in." Emma motioned at him from the door. “Are you ok? You look like you haven't slept in months."
Michael walked in and sat down on the couch. "Yeah I'm ok.
Emma wasn't too convinced at his answer but decided to let it slide. "If you say so... has something happened to Herman?"
"No. He's fine doing what he does best, snoring on the couch."
She smiled but still couldn't figure out what was wrong. Wild thoughts were racing through her mind. "Please don't tell me that something has happened with your family?"
"No everyone is healthy and happy."
"Then I don't understand. What happened?"
"We just need to talk." That was all Emma heard and she immediately knew that the break-up talk was going to occur. Emma tried to sit down, her coordination seemed to stall. Her brain was telling her to do something while her muscles were resisting all force.
Michael turned to her and took her hands into his. Her hands were ice cold, clammy and shaking. "Emma your hands are shaking like crazy!"
"I know, it's just this news you have to tell me is killing me, it's like a slow and painful death."
Michael bit his lip before beginning. He inhaled sharply before he began..."Sorry, I came to tell you that if you hear anything insane on TV about me to ignore it."
Emma nodded. "No!"
"Emma what are you doing?"
"You're here to break up aren’t you?!"
No of course not. What gave you such a crazy idea in the first place?"
"I don't know, just the way you told me that we need to talk, well I guess I watch too many movies and jumped to the wrong conclusion."
Michael laughed.
“Michael you scared the living daylights out me!!" She said, nudging him in the ribs.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do so."
"Michael, were you talking about that horrible interview Amanda gave?"
"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were aware of what kind of person she really is. She's the one who is offering to sleep with me!"
"Ohh I saw, and plus at the restaurant. She's a psychopath. She would of been perfect in Psycho had it been made in this day and age!"
Michael was smiling and laughing once again, feeling relieved that Emma understood. "Yeah, she's not even my type."
"This isn't going to affect your swimming in anyway right?"
"No, I should be ok." Emma nodded. "Michael you should really take a nap. You need to rest so you'll have some energy for the race later on."
"I guess you're right." He got up and hugged her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Now go get your beauty sleep!"
"But I want to spend time with you!" He said, clearly upset.
"See you're getting cranky! Go take a nap and we can spend time later together. Ok?"
"Ok, fine." He kissed her once more. He walked towards the door and ran to his room. In three strides he got to his room. The sooner he fell asleep the sooner he would wake up and the sooner he would be able to spend time with the one person who meant so much to him the last few days. Michael got behind the covers, and closed his eyes, thinking of what his mother would say when she met Emma. Before he knew it, he was sound asleep.
Back in the girl’s room…
Krystina woke up from her nap, quite upset with her love life. First she misses out on the gorgeous Michael Phelps and just then when she thought she found Alain everything went to ruins. "Love truly sucks!" she said aloud forgetting that Emma was on the couch, who was still flabbergasted about what Amanda had said about Michael Phelps.
"What's wrong Krystina? Why are you upset?"
"Well Amanda said something awful about you and I got really mad at her and at Alain for telling her something only you and Alain knew."
"Ohh I see. I'm really sorry about that!" Emma walked over and hugged her best friend.
"I really need to get out of this hotel room or I'll explode. I need to go shopping!! That always calms my nerves! Want to come with me?" Said Krystina, hoping that her best friend would be there with her doing something fun that they always did a million times.
Before Emma could answer, there was a knock on the door.
"Are you expecting Michael at this moment?" Asked Krystina.
"No, are you expecting anyone?"
"No, not unless there is an exact clone of Michael somewhere." Krystina said sighing and taking a seat on the couch.
Emma got up and walked to the door afraid that on the other side there could be a serial killer. She took a deep breath and opened the door hoping to see someone who didn't resemble Freddy Krueger or Michael Meyers. It was just the flower delivery man. "Bonjour, mademoiselle. I have a delivery for a Krystina Chastain." He said, looking at his clipboard.
Krystina's attention was redirected to the door. In two steps she was next to Emma wondering if the old man made a mistake. "Hmm I wonder what it could be. I know for sure I didn't order anything." She said, trying to rack her brain to see if she did but completely forgot about it.
"Please sign on the dotted line." Said the delivery man, extending the clipboard and pen to Krystina. She signed and handed it back to him. He placed the clipboard in his messenger bag he was assigned and then proceeded to hand Krystina all her packages. The delivery man handed Krystina a package and she placed it on the table, and then he handed Emma a package. A total of 12 packages. Emma went to her purse and handed the old man a nice tip for all the hard work he did.
"Hmm I wonder who sent me all this stuff." Said Krystina, shocked.
"I don't know, maybe you have a secret admirer." Said Emma, finally happy to be talking to her best friend like they used to. Krystina dug into the first box to find a beautiful arrangement of pink, orange and red roses.
"Wow, those are really beautiful." Said Emma. "You've got me so curious as to who sent them."
"I know, I'm dying to find out who it is." After she placed the flowers on the table a little card fell out. Krystina picked it up from the floor and began to read it. "Please forgive me for being an idiot! Hmm, doesn't have a name though. But it sure sounds like it could be from Jared and got the wrong name on the card."
Emma shook her head, "Nah, I don't think it’s from Jared. But open the other stuff and see if there are any other clues."
"Ohh my why didn't I think of that." Krystina immediately tore into the other boxes to find different arrangements of flowers ranging from daisies to lilies. "Amanda has a big mouth and doesn't know when to shut up..." Read another note. Krystina found a fruit basket containing peaches, strawberries and blueberries. "I finally know who it is!" Exclaimed Krystina.
"WHO?" Said Emma, almost out of breath considering she was so excited.
"Alain!! He sent me all this stuff! Fruits, flowers, candy and a stuffed bear!"
"Awww, that is so cute. So how badly did he screw up that he felt the need to send you all this stuff? I'm not saying that you don’t deserve them, he must really like you!"
"I don't know, I just got really mad at him."
"Ohh Krystina, you forgot this!" Emma handed her a little booklet.
Krystina flipped through it and noticed little square pieces of fabric next to the pictures of designers such as Chanel, Dior, Armani, Wang, and Gucci. At the end of the booklet there was another note. "I know Amanda stole your dress so please join me at the Paris fashion show where you can get to see the new collections as well as a meeting with the designer of your choice for a personal fitting, please consider giving me one more chance. Please let me know. I can't live without you. Love, Alain". Read Krystina aloud once more.
"Wow, I can't live without you! He's serious about you girl!"
Krystina laughed, "Sure he is. What should I do? I feel like he's turning into a stalker, should I go?"
"You'd be crazy not to go to the fashion show. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity."
"You're absolutely right Emma, I'm going to go and get myself an even better dress than that stupid Amanda Beard person!"
"Of course, she can't compare herself to you. You've got so much class and elegance."
Krystina's spirits were immediately lifted. "I love you Emma."
"I love you too." She said back, giggling that they were back to their old selves.
"I have to call Alain and let him know I'm coming to the fashion show."
Emma handed her the phone and left the room to give her friend some privacy. Krystina quickly dialed Alain's number. Her heart was thumping. She didn't know whether it was from the excitement of the fashion show or if she was willing to forgive Alain for his stupid mistake.
"Hello?" answered Alain on the other end.
"Hi, Alain, it's Krystina!"
"Ohh hey, what's up?" She could tell that Alain's voice shot up 3 octaves.
"Ohh nothing much, I just got your flowers. They were beautiful. Thank you!"
"Ohh you're very welcome. I had to redeem myself for everything."
"Listen the reason I called was because I'd like to come to the fashion show."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Ok, that’s great!" He said in a singsong voice. "I'll pick you up in 30 minutes."
Krystina scrambled through her suitcase to find something nice and comfortable to wear. She found a cute pair of jeans and a nice green tank top. She told Emma she was going and then waited for Alain to pick her up. They walked to his brand new car and he drove thirty minutes to central Paris for the fashion show. He parked and gave her the VIP pass she needed in order to meet the designers.
"Ohh I'm VIP today!" She exclaimed, so giddy.
"Follow me to our seats!" He said as he went ahead and she followed. They had seats in the first row by the catwalk.
"Wow these seats are amazing!!" Krystina stated, almost in a dream.
"I'm glad you like them!"
"I love them!"
On the other side of the catwalk she could see Vera Wang chatting with Armani. Soon the lights dimmed and everyone took their seats. The announcer stated that all the designers had a collection of 12 pieces to show. The show barely started and Alain felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished around trying to find it and when he finally did he saw that it was Amanda. He contemplated on answering but decided against it. He put the phone back in his pocket and continued to watch the show. After an hour and a half the show ended. "So what did you think of the show?"
"Ohh it was absolutely breath taking." She said as happy as a child in a candy store.
"So what designer would you like to meet?"
"Ohh definitely Coco Chanel."
"We'll let’s go get you a beautiful dress!"
Alain went backstage where people were frantically running around, to finally see her sitting at a table smoking a cigarette. Alain introduced himself and then told her about Krystina in French, things she didn't understand but she did see Coco nod her head at things Alain was telling her. She finished her cigarette and then vacated her seat and came closer to Krystina to take a better look. She nodded many times. "Ok, please step up on zeese pedestal!" She said, motioning to a block of steps. Krystina did as she was told, afraid to upset the designer. Coco took Krystina's hand and twirled her around and took another glance from a different angle. She went to get the measuring tape and took down her measurements. "You may step down." Coco once again left and brought over a rack of beautiful clothing with Krystina's measurements.
"Alain these are beautiful."Krystina said in admiration.
Alain nodded in agreement. Krystina browsed the rack and found it impossible to pick just one dress. She looked at all the colors which all looked amazing before finally laying eyes on a pink Grecian style dress. "That's the one! I want this one!" She said, hugging the dress.
"Ok, then that is the one you get to keep." Said Coco, smiling for the first time that day.
"Thank you so much! It's absolutely gorgeous." Krystina couldn't stop smiling. After that they went to the car and were on their way home to the hotel.
Meanwhile, in Amanda’s room…
Amanda finally awoke and found that she was left all alone. She took a couple aspirin for her head which was pounding and sat on the bed to try and watch television. But on all the news channels, all they could talk about was Michael. "Ughh I HATE HIM WITH A PASSION!!!" She threw the remote at the wall, scattering the batteries all over the floor. She got up and decided to go to the beach. She couldn't decide on a bathing suit after trying on 5 and modeling each for half an hour so she decided to sun bathe in the nude. France after all had plenty of nude beaches. She left Alain a note just in case he was worried where she was. She got in her car and drove off to the beach.
At the beach...
Amanda spread a blanket out on the sand and lay down, the sun shining brightly over her naked body. She closed her eyes and began a vivid reverie in her mind; her and Michael making mad passionate love in the water, on the sand, and in the lighthouse nearby. Her fantasy was interrupted though when a police officer approached her. "Um, miss?"
"Hey, you're blocking my sun!" She complained, opening her eyes and sitting up abruptly.
"I need to ask you to put your clothes on." He asserted.
"But why? Are you gay?" She couldn't understand how any heterosexual man would want her dressed. After all, her body was like a perfect sculpture, void of all flaws. Even Michelangelo wouldn't have been able to capture such loveliness.
"No Ma'am." He answered. "This isn't a nude beach."
"Oh that's okay." She giggled. "This place seems pretty boring and could use some scenery. Allow me to add to it."
"If you don't comply with the rules, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He stated, affirming his position.
"I don't take orders." She snapped and lay back down again, wanting to continue her daydream. Now what position were she and Michael last in? Ahhh yes, it was the one where her legs are-
The policeman tapped her arm with his stick.
"Watch it, jerk!" She snarled and snatched the stick from his hand, tossing it into the water. "I don't allow just anybody to touch me."
"That's it, you're under arrest." He pulled out his handcuffs and placed them around her wrists.
"But I'm Amanda Beard! Olympic Gold Medalist and GoDaddy Girl! I can't go to jail!" She griped.
"Can and you will." He confirmed and pulled her to her feet, wrapping the blanket around her and pushing her into the police car.
Back at Emma’s room…
Emma was engrossed in a book when she heard a knock at the door. Her heart melted when she saw Michael standing there with a dozen roses in his hand.
“What are these for?” She asked, her face and eyes dazzling with happiness.
“For just being you.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss her.
“They’re beautiful and you are…you’re just the most wonderful man ever.” She kissed him back and then took the bouquet into the other room, wanting to prepare a vase for it.
Michael sat down on the couch to wait for her and saw her phone, which was still on vibrate, scooting along the table. “Emma, your phone is ringing.”
Emma froze. What if it was Jared again? Since she’d been so worried that Michael was about to break up with her earlier, she’d completely forgotten about his message. "Um Michael, I think I should tell you something.” She confessed, walking back into the room and placing the vase on the table. “Jared left me a message earlier that he wants to talk, he keeps calling." She said, trailing off.
"Well what do you want to do?”
"I don't know. Up until I met you I wanted to talk to him, but now I've moved on."
"Well nobody will force you to do anything you don’t want to do. I'll be here to help you out."
Emma nodded, wiping tears that were just forming at the corners. "Michael you truly are amazing. I don't want to talk to him. Thank you for all your help."
"I'm really happy I could help."
She sat down and gave him a hug and kiss. Much to their dismay, the kiss was interrupted with Michael’s cell phone going off this time.
“Ugh, let me see who this is.” He didn‘t want to pull away from Emma but it could be his mom or one of his sisters. So he decided to answer. “Hello”?
“Michael! Oh thank goodness you picked up!” Amanda’s hand shook as she held the phone. She couldn’t take one more minute of being in that horrible cell. It was cold, dark and there were no mirrors!
“Who is this?” Michael didn’t recognize the voice on the other end.
“It’s me! Amanda!” She growled. How could he not know who she was? She only stalked him like every day!
“Amanda? As in Amanda Beard?” She sure had nerve to call him. Especially after all those lies she’d told on that television show.
“Yes, Amanda Beard!” She now began to cry. “You just have to get me out of here, come and get me now!”
“Where are you?” His interest was sparked now. Even though he didn’t want to see her, he couldn’t imagine where she could be that would have her so upset.
“Jail, I’m in jail! Get me out of this hell hole!!” She whined.
“JAIL??” Michael looked over at Emma and tried not to laugh, but the amusement was all too evident in his tone. Emma grabbed a pillow and covered her face with it, trying to stifle her laughter. But it was no use. Amanda was in jail? This was priceless!
“What did you do to wind up in jail, Amanda?” Michael had to hold the phone away, he and Emma were both cracking up and couldn‘t stop.
“It wasn’t my fault!” She declared, still bawling her eyes out. “This police officer told me I had to wear clothes on the beach. He had to have been gay; I mean why would any man want me to cover up my perfect body? You should know, I did send you my Playboy issue after all. By the way, what did you think of it?”
“You’re the one who’s sending me those?” Now it all made sense. Every day when he would go to get his mail, he would find a copy of that magazine. He’d assumed one of his friends was sending it as a joke but now he knew otherwise. It was just Amanda being obsessive as usual! “I didn’t look at it. I tossed them into the fireplace. Although I did let Herman chew up one of the copies.”
“YOU ALLOWED DOGGIE DROOL ON THE MOST FAMOUS ISSUE EVER?? MY ISSUE??” She shrieked with repulsion.
“Um yeah, I did. He thoroughly enjoyed it too.” He and Emma’s stomachs were beginning to hurt from all the laughing.
One of the guards heard Amanda‘s screams and informed her that her time was up. “They’re making me get off. Come get me now, okay? I’m at the local jail. Oh and my bail was set at $250,000 only because I had a female judge. I know a male would have dropped all the charges. Alright, bye sexy!” She cooed and hung up.
Michael took a minute to contain his laughter and then looked over seriously at Emma. “I’ve got to go bail her out.”
“What?” Emma didn’t believe this. He was going to help her? “Michael, no! Not after everything she’s done! How can you?”
“I can’t just leave her there.” He attempted to explain.
Emma turned away from him and crossed her arms around her chest. Suddenly doubts were filling up her mind. What if he did really like Amanda? What if everything she’d said on that television show were true? No, she couldn’t allow herself to have such thoughts. She saw him reject her at the restaurant.
“Emma…” He got up and walked around to face her, taking her hands and holding them tight. “It’s the right thing to do.”
Once she looked into his eyes she knew that it was impossible to stay angry at him. “I know you’re right, I just don’t like her.”
“I don’t either.” He admitted. “But she needs help. And my mother raised me to always help someone if they need it. So I have to do this.”“I know.” Emma smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Had she mentioned that he was amazing?
“Will you come with me?” He asked with a hopeful expression on his face.
“Of course!” Emma stood up with a jolt and quickly grabbed her purse. Any chance to tick off Amanda was one she wanted to take!
“Thank you.” He said gratefully and kissed her once again before taking her by the hand and leading her out the door.
At the jail…
Michael and Emma arrived at the local jail and stepped up to a desk where one of the officers was marking something down on a clipboard.
"Hi, I'm here to pay Amanda Beard's bail." Michael said.
"Oh thank God!" The guard replied, looking up to the heavens as if his prayers had been answered. "She's been driving us absolutely crazy! We even had to put her in a cell by herself because the other inmates were about ready to kill her. She went on and on about how she's an Olympic Gold Medalist and about some webhosting place. GoDaddy I think? I should know, I heard it about a million times. Oh and she talked about you a lot too. You're Michael Phelps, right?" The guard was positive he recognized the man standing before him.
"Yeah." Michael nodded as another officer handed him papers and stuff to sign.
"Well you're definitely number two on her conversation list, herself being numero uno. Please, take her away!" The guards didn't waste any time. They already had Amanda out of her cell and brought out, ready to be taken elsewhere to annoy others…anyone but them!
She immediately ran into Michael's arms and began to gush with gratitude. "Oh Michael, I just knew you'd come and get me! Don't worry; tonight I plan to make all of this hassle up to you. I'm going to give you pleasure like you've never-Eww!" She gasped, finally realizing that Emma was there too. "Why did you bring her?"
"Because..." He pushed her away and spoke sternly, although he was fully aware that she'd probably never get the hint. "Emma and I were spending time together and you interrupted us. It wasn't fair that I leave her alone and any way, I don't trust you." He shot her a suspicious glare before an officer gave him one last paper to sign. Since no one was looking. Amanda stuck her tongue out at Emma. Emma just rolled her eyes and laughed. She had the guy and didn't need to resort to childish antics.
All three walked out of the building and into the parking lot. When they arrived at Michael's car, Amanda immediately went for shotgun.
"Back seat, Amanda." Michael insisted, holding the door open to the back.
"Really? In front of her? Kinky!" She grinned and her eyes sparkled with the delicious ideas of what they could do in the back seat.
"No, just YOU!" He wished she would just cooperate so they could get her back to the hotel. He wanted to spend time with Emma, not her.
Amanda pursed her lips in a pout and begrudgingly got into the back seat. "If only he'd come alone." She thought, although deep down she knew that wouldn't have made a difference. That angered her immensely. She wasn't used to rejection and had always had any man she wanted. Until him. Well, she wasn't about to give up, that was for sure. She was Amanda Beard, Olympic Gold Medalist, GoDaddy Girl and a beauty that could rival Helen of Troy's. Hey, maybe she was Helen of Troy in a past life! It would only make sense!
Michael and Emma got into the car also and Michael inserted his key into the ignition and headed back. They were only about 20 minutes from the hotel but he knew this drive would seem like hours. And he was right. First, Amanda kept trying to massage his shoulders and he had to keep taking his hands off the steering wheel to push her back into her seat. Then she decided to try and lick his ears. Again, he pushed her back and this caused the car to swerve and almost hit a poor little old lady who was walking her dog.
"Amanda!" He yelled. "I'm trying to drive here!"
She giggled and became more aggressive, now attempting to climb into the seat with him. "Have you ever been blown while driving?"
"AMANDA!" He didn't believe this! What was wrong with her? Had she inhaled too much water once while swimming? Whatever it was, he was not going to put up with this, especially with Emma in the car. Amanda had completely disrespected them both and he was going to make sure she knew it. "First of all, for the millionth time, I am not interested in you! And most importantly, how dare you say something like that in front of my girlfriend!"
Emma's look of horror at what Amanda had just said suddenly turned to one of pure elation. That was the first time he'd referred to her as his girlfriend and she absolutely adored the sound of it. She was Michael Phelps’ girlfriend, something girls all around the world dreamed of being. And of course it didn't hurt that he stated this in front of a psycho chick that wouldn't leave him alone.
"Get out! Get out, Amanda." He demanded. He'd had enough. She'd pushed him to his limit and he couldn't stand the sight, or sound of her anymore.
"What?" She asked, flabbergasted. Had he just told her to get out? They weren't at the hotel yet. What did he expect her to do, walk? Amanda Beard, Olympic Gold Medalist and GoDaddy Girl did not walk long distances. She was a swimmer, not in track and field! That involved sweating and other unattractive things. Like B.O. B.O. is Eww!
"NOW!" He screamed again and reached behind him to open her door. But this caused him to lose sight of the road and he quickly slammed down on the brakes, realizing that another car was in front of him. Unfortunately, it was too late...
Meanwhile, in another car...
Alain and Krystina were on their way back from the Fashion Show. Krystina gazed down at her dress, not in a million years did she think she'd ever own something so beautiful and expensive. At least not at this point in her life.
Alain smiled over at her. He could tell how happy she was with the dress and he hoped that she was happy with him too. Krystina returned the smile. He really was sweet, he just wasn't Michael. And Michael was with Emma and she needed to accept that. Although she was pretty sure she had accepted it, she just wasn't over it. Love really sucked.
They were almost back at the hotel when they felt somebody bump into them. Alain stopped the car and began spouting obscenities in French. He had just bought this car last week!
Krystina turned around to see what had happened and who had hit them. "Oh!" She exclaimed. "It's Michael and Emma!" She popped open the passenger side door and got out to greet her friends.
Michael? Alain felt a fierce burning anger begin to rage inside of him again. Michael Phelps was the one who'd just rear ended him? That guy had to ruin everything for him, didn't he? First in the pool, then all the hype and media attention, then with any girl he was interested in, and now his car? His brand new car? He knew one thing; Michael was going to fix it. After all, wasn't he getting about 20 billion dollars in endorsement deals? And what was Alain getting, except for having to listen to Amanda all the time? This wasn't fair. He unlatched his door and stepped out, playing nice only for Krystina's sake.
"Are you okay?" Michael asked as he and Emma made sure that no one was hurt.
"We're fine, but I'm not sure Alain's car is." Krystina responded, inspecting the damage.
"I'm sorry, Alain." Michael apologized, feeling horrible for what had happened. "I'll pay to have it repaired."
Alain nodded, not wanting to say a word because it wouldn't be nice. But damn straight Michael was paying for it!
"My face! You messed up my face!" A barely recognizable figure emerged from the back seat of Michael's car, staggering all the way. They had a large gash on their forehead and their nose was spurting blood all over the pavement. Their shirt was torn and they were bawling like a spoiled toddler. Wait, they knew who this person was, just look at the bad highlights job in their hair. Yep, it was Amanda!
"I HATE YOU!" She shrieked in Michael's face, holding her nose to stop the bleeding. "This is the last straw! I'm going to get you if it's the last thing I do! You'll be ruined! You hear me? RUINED!"
AUTHORS: krystinag tragic-eyes88
RATING: PG-13 (Profanity and sexual content)
DISCLAIMER: We do not personally know, nor are we affiliated with anyone (Except ourselves!) written about in this fan-fic. All events are fiction unless otherwise stated. The opinions expressed are solely of the authors and are meant for entertainment purposes only. No disrespect is intended to the celebrities mentioned or their fans.
SUMMARY: Amanda gets arrested and Michael almost runs down a poor old lady because Amanda can't keep her hands off him.
PAIRING/CHARACTERS: Michael Phelps, Amanda Beard, Alain Bernard, Emma Montgomery, Krystina Chastain, Prison Guards.
NOTES: Funny stuff!!!
Michael stood motionless in front of the door.
"Michael don't be silly you can drop by anytime you like even at 3am. Come on in." Emma motioned at him from the door. “Are you ok? You look like you haven't slept in months."
Michael walked in and sat down on the couch. "Yeah I'm ok.
Emma wasn't too convinced at his answer but decided to let it slide. "If you say so... has something happened to Herman?"
"No. He's fine doing what he does best, snoring on the couch."
She smiled but still couldn't figure out what was wrong. Wild thoughts were racing through her mind. "Please don't tell me that something has happened with your family?"
"No everyone is healthy and happy."
"Then I don't understand. What happened?"
"We just need to talk." That was all Emma heard and she immediately knew that the break-up talk was going to occur. Emma tried to sit down, her coordination seemed to stall. Her brain was telling her to do something while her muscles were resisting all force.
Michael turned to her and took her hands into his. Her hands were ice cold, clammy and shaking. "Emma your hands are shaking like crazy!"
"I know, it's just this news you have to tell me is killing me, it's like a slow and painful death."
Michael bit his lip before beginning. He inhaled sharply before he began..."Sorry, I came to tell you that if you hear anything insane on TV about me to ignore it."
Emma nodded. "No!"
"Emma what are you doing?"
"You're here to break up aren’t you?!"
No of course not. What gave you such a crazy idea in the first place?"
"I don't know, just the way you told me that we need to talk, well I guess I watch too many movies and jumped to the wrong conclusion."
Michael laughed.
“Michael you scared the living daylights out me!!" She said, nudging him in the ribs.
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to do so."
"Michael, were you talking about that horrible interview Amanda gave?"
"Yeah, I just wanted to make sure you were aware of what kind of person she really is. She's the one who is offering to sleep with me!"
"Ohh I saw, and plus at the restaurant. She's a psychopath. She would of been perfect in Psycho had it been made in this day and age!"
Michael was smiling and laughing once again, feeling relieved that Emma understood. "Yeah, she's not even my type."
"This isn't going to affect your swimming in anyway right?"
"No, I should be ok." Emma nodded. "Michael you should really take a nap. You need to rest so you'll have some energy for the race later on."
"I guess you're right." He got up and hugged her.
She wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him. "Now go get your beauty sleep!"
"But I want to spend time with you!" He said, clearly upset.
"See you're getting cranky! Go take a nap and we can spend time later together. Ok?"
"Ok, fine." He kissed her once more. He walked towards the door and ran to his room. In three strides he got to his room. The sooner he fell asleep the sooner he would wake up and the sooner he would be able to spend time with the one person who meant so much to him the last few days. Michael got behind the covers, and closed his eyes, thinking of what his mother would say when she met Emma. Before he knew it, he was sound asleep.
Back in the girl’s room…
Krystina woke up from her nap, quite upset with her love life. First she misses out on the gorgeous Michael Phelps and just then when she thought she found Alain everything went to ruins. "Love truly sucks!" she said aloud forgetting that Emma was on the couch, who was still flabbergasted about what Amanda had said about Michael Phelps.
"What's wrong Krystina? Why are you upset?"
"Well Amanda said something awful about you and I got really mad at her and at Alain for telling her something only you and Alain knew."
"Ohh I see. I'm really sorry about that!" Emma walked over and hugged her best friend.
"I really need to get out of this hotel room or I'll explode. I need to go shopping!! That always calms my nerves! Want to come with me?" Said Krystina, hoping that her best friend would be there with her doing something fun that they always did a million times.
Before Emma could answer, there was a knock on the door.
"Are you expecting Michael at this moment?" Asked Krystina.
"No, are you expecting anyone?"
"No, not unless there is an exact clone of Michael somewhere." Krystina said sighing and taking a seat on the couch.
Emma got up and walked to the door afraid that on the other side there could be a serial killer. She took a deep breath and opened the door hoping to see someone who didn't resemble Freddy Krueger or Michael Meyers. It was just the flower delivery man. "Bonjour, mademoiselle. I have a delivery for a Krystina Chastain." He said, looking at his clipboard.
Krystina's attention was redirected to the door. In two steps she was next to Emma wondering if the old man made a mistake. "Hmm I wonder what it could be. I know for sure I didn't order anything." She said, trying to rack her brain to see if she did but completely forgot about it.
"Please sign on the dotted line." Said the delivery man, extending the clipboard and pen to Krystina. She signed and handed it back to him. He placed the clipboard in his messenger bag he was assigned and then proceeded to hand Krystina all her packages. The delivery man handed Krystina a package and she placed it on the table, and then he handed Emma a package. A total of 12 packages. Emma went to her purse and handed the old man a nice tip for all the hard work he did.
"Hmm I wonder who sent me all this stuff." Said Krystina, shocked.
"I don't know, maybe you have a secret admirer." Said Emma, finally happy to be talking to her best friend like they used to. Krystina dug into the first box to find a beautiful arrangement of pink, orange and red roses.
"Wow, those are really beautiful." Said Emma. "You've got me so curious as to who sent them."
"I know, I'm dying to find out who it is." After she placed the flowers on the table a little card fell out. Krystina picked it up from the floor and began to read it. "Please forgive me for being an idiot! Hmm, doesn't have a name though. But it sure sounds like it could be from Jared and got the wrong name on the card."
Emma shook her head, "Nah, I don't think it’s from Jared. But open the other stuff and see if there are any other clues."
"Ohh my why didn't I think of that." Krystina immediately tore into the other boxes to find different arrangements of flowers ranging from daisies to lilies. "Amanda has a big mouth and doesn't know when to shut up..." Read another note. Krystina found a fruit basket containing peaches, strawberries and blueberries. "I finally know who it is!" Exclaimed Krystina.
"WHO?" Said Emma, almost out of breath considering she was so excited.
"Alain!! He sent me all this stuff! Fruits, flowers, candy and a stuffed bear!"
"Awww, that is so cute. So how badly did he screw up that he felt the need to send you all this stuff? I'm not saying that you don’t deserve them, he must really like you!"
"I don't know, I just got really mad at him."
"Ohh Krystina, you forgot this!" Emma handed her a little booklet.
Krystina flipped through it and noticed little square pieces of fabric next to the pictures of designers such as Chanel, Dior, Armani, Wang, and Gucci. At the end of the booklet there was another note. "I know Amanda stole your dress so please join me at the Paris fashion show where you can get to see the new collections as well as a meeting with the designer of your choice for a personal fitting, please consider giving me one more chance. Please let me know. I can't live without you. Love, Alain". Read Krystina aloud once more.
"Wow, I can't live without you! He's serious about you girl!"
Krystina laughed, "Sure he is. What should I do? I feel like he's turning into a stalker, should I go?"
"You'd be crazy not to go to the fashion show. It's a once in a lifetime opportunity."
"You're absolutely right Emma, I'm going to go and get myself an even better dress than that stupid Amanda Beard person!"
"Of course, she can't compare herself to you. You've got so much class and elegance."
Krystina's spirits were immediately lifted. "I love you Emma."
"I love you too." She said back, giggling that they were back to their old selves.
"I have to call Alain and let him know I'm coming to the fashion show."
Emma handed her the phone and left the room to give her friend some privacy. Krystina quickly dialed Alain's number. Her heart was thumping. She didn't know whether it was from the excitement of the fashion show or if she was willing to forgive Alain for his stupid mistake.
"Hello?" answered Alain on the other end.
"Hi, Alain, it's Krystina!"
"Ohh hey, what's up?" She could tell that Alain's voice shot up 3 octaves.
"Ohh nothing much, I just got your flowers. They were beautiful. Thank you!"
"Ohh you're very welcome. I had to redeem myself for everything."
"Listen the reason I called was because I'd like to come to the fashion show."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Ok, that’s great!" He said in a singsong voice. "I'll pick you up in 30 minutes."
Krystina scrambled through her suitcase to find something nice and comfortable to wear. She found a cute pair of jeans and a nice green tank top. She told Emma she was going and then waited for Alain to pick her up. They walked to his brand new car and he drove thirty minutes to central Paris for the fashion show. He parked and gave her the VIP pass she needed in order to meet the designers.
"Ohh I'm VIP today!" She exclaimed, so giddy.
"Follow me to our seats!" He said as he went ahead and she followed. They had seats in the first row by the catwalk.
"Wow these seats are amazing!!" Krystina stated, almost in a dream.
"I'm glad you like them!"
"I love them!"
On the other side of the catwalk she could see Vera Wang chatting with Armani. Soon the lights dimmed and everyone took their seats. The announcer stated that all the designers had a collection of 12 pieces to show. The show barely started and Alain felt his phone vibrate in his pocket. He fished around trying to find it and when he finally did he saw that it was Amanda. He contemplated on answering but decided against it. He put the phone back in his pocket and continued to watch the show. After an hour and a half the show ended. "So what did you think of the show?"
"Ohh it was absolutely breath taking." She said as happy as a child in a candy store.
"So what designer would you like to meet?"
"Ohh definitely Coco Chanel."
"We'll let’s go get you a beautiful dress!"
Alain went backstage where people were frantically running around, to finally see her sitting at a table smoking a cigarette. Alain introduced himself and then told her about Krystina in French, things she didn't understand but she did see Coco nod her head at things Alain was telling her. She finished her cigarette and then vacated her seat and came closer to Krystina to take a better look. She nodded many times. "Ok, please step up on zeese pedestal!" She said, motioning to a block of steps. Krystina did as she was told, afraid to upset the designer. Coco took Krystina's hand and twirled her around and took another glance from a different angle. She went to get the measuring tape and took down her measurements. "You may step down." Coco once again left and brought over a rack of beautiful clothing with Krystina's measurements.
"Alain these are beautiful."Krystina said in admiration.
Alain nodded in agreement. Krystina browsed the rack and found it impossible to pick just one dress. She looked at all the colors which all looked amazing before finally laying eyes on a pink Grecian style dress. "That's the one! I want this one!" She said, hugging the dress.
"Ok, then that is the one you get to keep." Said Coco, smiling for the first time that day.
"Thank you so much! It's absolutely gorgeous." Krystina couldn't stop smiling. After that they went to the car and were on their way home to the hotel.
Meanwhile, in Amanda’s room…
Amanda finally awoke and found that she was left all alone. She took a couple aspirin for her head which was pounding and sat on the bed to try and watch television. But on all the news channels, all they could talk about was Michael. "Ughh I HATE HIM WITH A PASSION!!!" She threw the remote at the wall, scattering the batteries all over the floor. She got up and decided to go to the beach. She couldn't decide on a bathing suit after trying on 5 and modeling each for half an hour so she decided to sun bathe in the nude. France after all had plenty of nude beaches. She left Alain a note just in case he was worried where she was. She got in her car and drove off to the beach.
At the beach...
Amanda spread a blanket out on the sand and lay down, the sun shining brightly over her naked body. She closed her eyes and began a vivid reverie in her mind; her and Michael making mad passionate love in the water, on the sand, and in the lighthouse nearby. Her fantasy was interrupted though when a police officer approached her. "Um, miss?"
"Hey, you're blocking my sun!" She complained, opening her eyes and sitting up abruptly.
"I need to ask you to put your clothes on." He asserted.
"But why? Are you gay?" She couldn't understand how any heterosexual man would want her dressed. After all, her body was like a perfect sculpture, void of all flaws. Even Michelangelo wouldn't have been able to capture such loveliness.
"No Ma'am." He answered. "This isn't a nude beach."
"Oh that's okay." She giggled. "This place seems pretty boring and could use some scenery. Allow me to add to it."
"If you don't comply with the rules, I'm going to have to ask you to leave." He stated, affirming his position.
"I don't take orders." She snapped and lay back down again, wanting to continue her daydream. Now what position were she and Michael last in? Ahhh yes, it was the one where her legs are-
The policeman tapped her arm with his stick.
"Watch it, jerk!" She snarled and snatched the stick from his hand, tossing it into the water. "I don't allow just anybody to touch me."
"That's it, you're under arrest." He pulled out his handcuffs and placed them around her wrists.
"But I'm Amanda Beard! Olympic Gold Medalist and GoDaddy Girl! I can't go to jail!" She griped.
"Can and you will." He confirmed and pulled her to her feet, wrapping the blanket around her and pushing her into the police car.
Back at Emma’s room…
Emma was engrossed in a book when she heard a knock at the door. Her heart melted when she saw Michael standing there with a dozen roses in his hand.
“What are these for?” She asked, her face and eyes dazzling with happiness.
“For just being you.” He smiled and leaned in to kiss her.
“They’re beautiful and you are…you’re just the most wonderful man ever.” She kissed him back and then took the bouquet into the other room, wanting to prepare a vase for it.
Michael sat down on the couch to wait for her and saw her phone, which was still on vibrate, scooting along the table. “Emma, your phone is ringing.”
Emma froze. What if it was Jared again? Since she’d been so worried that Michael was about to break up with her earlier, she’d completely forgotten about his message. "Um Michael, I think I should tell you something.” She confessed, walking back into the room and placing the vase on the table. “Jared left me a message earlier that he wants to talk, he keeps calling." She said, trailing off.
"Well what do you want to do?”
"I don't know. Up until I met you I wanted to talk to him, but now I've moved on."
"Well nobody will force you to do anything you don’t want to do. I'll be here to help you out."
Emma nodded, wiping tears that were just forming at the corners. "Michael you truly are amazing. I don't want to talk to him. Thank you for all your help."
"I'm really happy I could help."
She sat down and gave him a hug and kiss. Much to their dismay, the kiss was interrupted with Michael’s cell phone going off this time.
“Ugh, let me see who this is.” He didn‘t want to pull away from Emma but it could be his mom or one of his sisters. So he decided to answer. “Hello”?
“Michael! Oh thank goodness you picked up!” Amanda’s hand shook as she held the phone. She couldn’t take one more minute of being in that horrible cell. It was cold, dark and there were no mirrors!
“Who is this?” Michael didn’t recognize the voice on the other end.
“It’s me! Amanda!” She growled. How could he not know who she was? She only stalked him like every day!
“Amanda? As in Amanda Beard?” She sure had nerve to call him. Especially after all those lies she’d told on that television show.
“Yes, Amanda Beard!” She now began to cry. “You just have to get me out of here, come and get me now!”
“Where are you?” His interest was sparked now. Even though he didn’t want to see her, he couldn’t imagine where she could be that would have her so upset.
“Jail, I’m in jail! Get me out of this hell hole!!” She whined.
“JAIL??” Michael looked over at Emma and tried not to laugh, but the amusement was all too evident in his tone. Emma grabbed a pillow and covered her face with it, trying to stifle her laughter. But it was no use. Amanda was in jail? This was priceless!
“What did you do to wind up in jail, Amanda?” Michael had to hold the phone away, he and Emma were both cracking up and couldn‘t stop.
“It wasn’t my fault!” She declared, still bawling her eyes out. “This police officer told me I had to wear clothes on the beach. He had to have been gay; I mean why would any man want me to cover up my perfect body? You should know, I did send you my Playboy issue after all. By the way, what did you think of it?”
“You’re the one who’s sending me those?” Now it all made sense. Every day when he would go to get his mail, he would find a copy of that magazine. He’d assumed one of his friends was sending it as a joke but now he knew otherwise. It was just Amanda being obsessive as usual! “I didn’t look at it. I tossed them into the fireplace. Although I did let Herman chew up one of the copies.”
“YOU ALLOWED DOGGIE DROOL ON THE MOST FAMOUS ISSUE EVER?? MY ISSUE??” She shrieked with repulsion.
“Um yeah, I did. He thoroughly enjoyed it too.” He and Emma’s stomachs were beginning to hurt from all the laughing.
One of the guards heard Amanda‘s screams and informed her that her time was up. “They’re making me get off. Come get me now, okay? I’m at the local jail. Oh and my bail was set at $250,000 only because I had a female judge. I know a male would have dropped all the charges. Alright, bye sexy!” She cooed and hung up.
Michael took a minute to contain his laughter and then looked over seriously at Emma. “I’ve got to go bail her out.”
“What?” Emma didn’t believe this. He was going to help her? “Michael, no! Not after everything she’s done! How can you?”
“I can’t just leave her there.” He attempted to explain.
Emma turned away from him and crossed her arms around her chest. Suddenly doubts were filling up her mind. What if he did really like Amanda? What if everything she’d said on that television show were true? No, she couldn’t allow herself to have such thoughts. She saw him reject her at the restaurant.
“Emma…” He got up and walked around to face her, taking her hands and holding them tight. “It’s the right thing to do.”
Once she looked into his eyes she knew that it was impossible to stay angry at him. “I know you’re right, I just don’t like her.”
“I don’t either.” He admitted. “But she needs help. And my mother raised me to always help someone if they need it. So I have to do this.”“I know.” Emma smiled and kissed him on the cheek. Had she mentioned that he was amazing?
“Will you come with me?” He asked with a hopeful expression on his face.
“Of course!” Emma stood up with a jolt and quickly grabbed her purse. Any chance to tick off Amanda was one she wanted to take!
“Thank you.” He said gratefully and kissed her once again before taking her by the hand and leading her out the door.
At the jail…
Michael and Emma arrived at the local jail and stepped up to a desk where one of the officers was marking something down on a clipboard.
"Hi, I'm here to pay Amanda Beard's bail." Michael said.
"Oh thank God!" The guard replied, looking up to the heavens as if his prayers had been answered. "She's been driving us absolutely crazy! We even had to put her in a cell by herself because the other inmates were about ready to kill her. She went on and on about how she's an Olympic Gold Medalist and about some webhosting place. GoDaddy I think? I should know, I heard it about a million times. Oh and she talked about you a lot too. You're Michael Phelps, right?" The guard was positive he recognized the man standing before him.
"Yeah." Michael nodded as another officer handed him papers and stuff to sign.
"Well you're definitely number two on her conversation list, herself being numero uno. Please, take her away!" The guards didn't waste any time. They already had Amanda out of her cell and brought out, ready to be taken elsewhere to annoy others…anyone but them!
She immediately ran into Michael's arms and began to gush with gratitude. "Oh Michael, I just knew you'd come and get me! Don't worry; tonight I plan to make all of this hassle up to you. I'm going to give you pleasure like you've never-Eww!" She gasped, finally realizing that Emma was there too. "Why did you bring her?"
"Because..." He pushed her away and spoke sternly, although he was fully aware that she'd probably never get the hint. "Emma and I were spending time together and you interrupted us. It wasn't fair that I leave her alone and any way, I don't trust you." He shot her a suspicious glare before an officer gave him one last paper to sign. Since no one was looking. Amanda stuck her tongue out at Emma. Emma just rolled her eyes and laughed. She had the guy and didn't need to resort to childish antics.
All three walked out of the building and into the parking lot. When they arrived at Michael's car, Amanda immediately went for shotgun.
"Back seat, Amanda." Michael insisted, holding the door open to the back.
"Really? In front of her? Kinky!" She grinned and her eyes sparkled with the delicious ideas of what they could do in the back seat.
"No, just YOU!" He wished she would just cooperate so they could get her back to the hotel. He wanted to spend time with Emma, not her.
Amanda pursed her lips in a pout and begrudgingly got into the back seat. "If only he'd come alone." She thought, although deep down she knew that wouldn't have made a difference. That angered her immensely. She wasn't used to rejection and had always had any man she wanted. Until him. Well, she wasn't about to give up, that was for sure. She was Amanda Beard, Olympic Gold Medalist, GoDaddy Girl and a beauty that could rival Helen of Troy's. Hey, maybe she was Helen of Troy in a past life! It would only make sense!
Michael and Emma got into the car also and Michael inserted his key into the ignition and headed back. They were only about 20 minutes from the hotel but he knew this drive would seem like hours. And he was right. First, Amanda kept trying to massage his shoulders and he had to keep taking his hands off the steering wheel to push her back into her seat. Then she decided to try and lick his ears. Again, he pushed her back and this caused the car to swerve and almost hit a poor little old lady who was walking her dog.
"Amanda!" He yelled. "I'm trying to drive here!"
She giggled and became more aggressive, now attempting to climb into the seat with him. "Have you ever been blown while driving?"
"AMANDA!" He didn't believe this! What was wrong with her? Had she inhaled too much water once while swimming? Whatever it was, he was not going to put up with this, especially with Emma in the car. Amanda had completely disrespected them both and he was going to make sure she knew it. "First of all, for the millionth time, I am not interested in you! And most importantly, how dare you say something like that in front of my girlfriend!"
Emma's look of horror at what Amanda had just said suddenly turned to one of pure elation. That was the first time he'd referred to her as his girlfriend and she absolutely adored the sound of it. She was Michael Phelps’ girlfriend, something girls all around the world dreamed of being. And of course it didn't hurt that he stated this in front of a psycho chick that wouldn't leave him alone.
"Get out! Get out, Amanda." He demanded. He'd had enough. She'd pushed him to his limit and he couldn't stand the sight, or sound of her anymore.
"What?" She asked, flabbergasted. Had he just told her to get out? They weren't at the hotel yet. What did he expect her to do, walk? Amanda Beard, Olympic Gold Medalist and GoDaddy Girl did not walk long distances. She was a swimmer, not in track and field! That involved sweating and other unattractive things. Like B.O. B.O. is Eww!
"NOW!" He screamed again and reached behind him to open her door. But this caused him to lose sight of the road and he quickly slammed down on the brakes, realizing that another car was in front of him. Unfortunately, it was too late...
Meanwhile, in another car...
Alain and Krystina were on their way back from the Fashion Show. Krystina gazed down at her dress, not in a million years did she think she'd ever own something so beautiful and expensive. At least not at this point in her life.
Alain smiled over at her. He could tell how happy she was with the dress and he hoped that she was happy with him too. Krystina returned the smile. He really was sweet, he just wasn't Michael. And Michael was with Emma and she needed to accept that. Although she was pretty sure she had accepted it, she just wasn't over it. Love really sucked.
They were almost back at the hotel when they felt somebody bump into them. Alain stopped the car and began spouting obscenities in French. He had just bought this car last week!
Krystina turned around to see what had happened and who had hit them. "Oh!" She exclaimed. "It's Michael and Emma!" She popped open the passenger side door and got out to greet her friends.
Michael? Alain felt a fierce burning anger begin to rage inside of him again. Michael Phelps was the one who'd just rear ended him? That guy had to ruin everything for him, didn't he? First in the pool, then all the hype and media attention, then with any girl he was interested in, and now his car? His brand new car? He knew one thing; Michael was going to fix it. After all, wasn't he getting about 20 billion dollars in endorsement deals? And what was Alain getting, except for having to listen to Amanda all the time? This wasn't fair. He unlatched his door and stepped out, playing nice only for Krystina's sake.
"Are you okay?" Michael asked as he and Emma made sure that no one was hurt.
"We're fine, but I'm not sure Alain's car is." Krystina responded, inspecting the damage.
"I'm sorry, Alain." Michael apologized, feeling horrible for what had happened. "I'll pay to have it repaired."
Alain nodded, not wanting to say a word because it wouldn't be nice. But damn straight Michael was paying for it!
"My face! You messed up my face!" A barely recognizable figure emerged from the back seat of Michael's car, staggering all the way. They had a large gash on their forehead and their nose was spurting blood all over the pavement. Their shirt was torn and they were bawling like a spoiled toddler. Wait, they knew who this person was, just look at the bad highlights job in their hair. Yep, it was Amanda!
"I HATE YOU!" She shrieked in Michael's face, holding her nose to stop the bleeding. "This is the last straw! I'm going to get you if it's the last thing I do! You'll be ruined! You hear me? RUINED!"