Done
laitaine2004 finished it Sunday. I had to take a day off from work.
But I finally finished the thing...
So here's my note to Steve Kloves:
(or Michael Goldenberg, or whoever else ends up writing the script for Deathly Hallows)
Let's start with the most urgent part: what I hope we won't have to see...
Surely you're already taking notes. Make sure to have this one in big, bold letters--marked with a highlighter:
Chapter 35 is out.
Right now. Gone. Take care of the re-writes later. In fact, if you're still reading, you can skip that part. It doesn't really contribute much. It reads like a "Lost" season finale, know what I mean?
Out of all the clichés that could have been used, the last thing I expected was the whole purgatory/dream sequence bs. Sure, it adds to the biblical allegory (The Matrix all over again), but so what? I'm sure Laura Mallory isn't reading it.
The boy lives, OR he dies. Flip a coin, I don't care. But please don't cop out by trying to fit in both endings, it's ridiculous. Sorry, Dan, you don't get your dramatic death scene...
Having said that, Harry walking to his death with James, Lily, Sirius and Remus walking with him, dementors circling overhead... that could be done so well in film... (who's scoring it, btw? That's just as important, especially for this scene... :)
Anyone who's ever played D&D will tell you that the Gringotts chapter reads like a typical dungeon crawl. Keep it, scrap it, don't much care...
The Epilogue: Yeah, Hogwarts: The Next Generation... would that work on film? Because in print, it was a bit of a yawner. It may read better the second time, we'll see...
I can already tell the whole horcruxes vs. hallows thing is going to be confusing. Really, what was the point? Was that the part of the story that was already written from day one? The "point B" that proved so difficult to connect with as the story progressed? Being the title items, they'll still have to be in there somehow... but that whole subplot scored one point against having the beginning and the ending written and then trying to connect one to the other. You can almost see the exact moment where the thing starts becoming more convoluted than it needs to be, just because we ran out of time and we have to get to that ending.
As for the multiple deaths (well, she did say at least two)... I kept expecting one of The Trio to die, so everyone else's death was anti-climactic by comparison... except Dobby, damnit. I can't believe she made me get teary-eyed about the only character I actually hated! But of course, that has more to do with Harry's reaction to it. And I really hope they do have all of that in the film, by the way. It reminds me of that moment during the graveyard scene in Goblet of Fire, when he goes from run-and-hide to making the decision to turn around and face Voldemort. More to the credit of Dan Radcliffe's ability to act without words...
Which brings me to the "must-shoot" stuff...
Yes, we need the final showdown. As it is. It's imperative that the resistance finally have the chance to witness in person exactly what it is that's been keeping them there holding the fort. Although it could do with a little less circling and taunting and a little more that JUST ONE shot of the wands, please. Otherwise it'll be nothing but a rehash of the duel in Goblet of Fire. Although this time they were surrounded by D.A. and the Order, not just the Death Eaters, which may be what the author was going for... but still...
I'd like to see the reveal on Snape--the conversation where he and Dumbledore practically switch roles. It's brilliant. Not to mention, can't you already hear Alan Rickman's delivery of "Would you like me to [kill you] now, or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph"? :D
Gotta have Kreacher in there, but you guys already knew that (that's why he was added back in after the decision not to have him in Order of the Phoenix...)
Ron's little temper tantrum at the camp could do with a bit of a re-write... you know, to make it seem less like a temper tantrum... lol :)
His return to the camp, however, and the destruction of the locket... good stuff...
"Why the hell didn't you take [the locket] off before you dived?"... yeah, good stuff... :)
Molly Weasley kicking Bella's ass... that's worth the price of admission! :D
The good-natured Mrs. Weasley yelling, "Not my daughter, you bitch!"... Definitely must have that...
I wonder how much swearing the MPAA will let a movie get away with before slapping it with an R-rating...
But I finally finished the thing...
So here's my note to Steve Kloves:
(or Michael Goldenberg, or whoever else ends up writing the script for Deathly Hallows)
Let's start with the most urgent part: what I hope we won't have to see...
Surely you're already taking notes. Make sure to have this one in big, bold letters--marked with a highlighter:
Chapter 35 is out.
Right now. Gone. Take care of the re-writes later. In fact, if you're still reading, you can skip that part. It doesn't really contribute much. It reads like a "Lost" season finale, know what I mean?
Out of all the clichés that could have been used, the last thing I expected was the whole purgatory/dream sequence bs. Sure, it adds to the biblical allegory (The Matrix all over again), but so what? I'm sure Laura Mallory isn't reading it.
The boy lives, OR he dies. Flip a coin, I don't care. But please don't cop out by trying to fit in both endings, it's ridiculous. Sorry, Dan, you don't get your dramatic death scene...
Having said that, Harry walking to his death with James, Lily, Sirius and Remus walking with him, dementors circling overhead... that could be done so well in film... (who's scoring it, btw? That's just as important, especially for this scene... :)
Anyone who's ever played D&D will tell you that the Gringotts chapter reads like a typical dungeon crawl. Keep it, scrap it, don't much care...
The Epilogue: Yeah, Hogwarts: The Next Generation... would that work on film? Because in print, it was a bit of a yawner. It may read better the second time, we'll see...
I can already tell the whole horcruxes vs. hallows thing is going to be confusing. Really, what was the point? Was that the part of the story that was already written from day one? The "point B" that proved so difficult to connect with as the story progressed? Being the title items, they'll still have to be in there somehow... but that whole subplot scored one point against having the beginning and the ending written and then trying to connect one to the other. You can almost see the exact moment where the thing starts becoming more convoluted than it needs to be, just because we ran out of time and we have to get to that ending.
As for the multiple deaths (well, she did say at least two)... I kept expecting one of The Trio to die, so everyone else's death was anti-climactic by comparison... except Dobby, damnit. I can't believe she made me get teary-eyed about the only character I actually hated! But of course, that has more to do with Harry's reaction to it. And I really hope they do have all of that in the film, by the way. It reminds me of that moment during the graveyard scene in Goblet of Fire, when he goes from run-and-hide to making the decision to turn around and face Voldemort. More to the credit of Dan Radcliffe's ability to act without words...
Which brings me to the "must-shoot" stuff...
Yes, we need the final showdown. As it is. It's imperative that the resistance finally have the chance to witness in person exactly what it is that's been keeping them there holding the fort. Although it could do with a little less circling and taunting and a little more that JUST ONE shot of the wands, please. Otherwise it'll be nothing but a rehash of the duel in Goblet of Fire. Although this time they were surrounded by D.A. and the Order, not just the Death Eaters, which may be what the author was going for... but still...
I'd like to see the reveal on Snape--the conversation where he and Dumbledore practically switch roles. It's brilliant. Not to mention, can't you already hear Alan Rickman's delivery of "Would you like me to [kill you] now, or would you like a few moments to compose an epitaph"? :D
Gotta have Kreacher in there, but you guys already knew that (that's why he was added back in after the decision not to have him in Order of the Phoenix...)
Ron's little temper tantrum at the camp could do with a bit of a re-write... you know, to make it seem less like a temper tantrum... lol :)
His return to the camp, however, and the destruction of the locket... good stuff...
"Why the hell didn't you take [the locket] off before you dived?"... yeah, good stuff... :)
Molly Weasley kicking Bella's ass... that's worth the price of admission! :D
The good-natured Mrs. Weasley yelling, "Not my daughter, you bitch!"... Definitely must have that...
I wonder how much swearing the MPAA will let a movie get away with before slapping it with an R-rating...