When there are many things to tell
we usually lack the time to do so. But I'll try to make a start, at least!
Firstly, thank you very much to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday! It was an OK day. Because it was a birthday, OK is disappointing. Your messages made it a little more special, so I really, really appreciate them. I'll try to thank you all personally, but in case I'll take a bit longer to do that, I already wanted you to know that I'm very grateful. <3
A very happy belated birthday to everybody whose birthdays I missed! Especially hamnar, of whom I was today reminded because bossman told me to contact "our IT guy", but not to be surprised because "he lives in the Far East".
Moi: "You mean the Near East?" (Most of the new guys on the team are from the Near East, except for new boss colleague, who is from the Ruhr area.)
Bossman: "No, the Far East. Saxony. What's it called. Here, thingy, Freiberg."
And I thought OMG FREIBERG IT GUY CAN IT BE HAMNAR?! OH CRAP YOU FORGOT HIS BIRTHDAY!
It wasn't him, but I still felt really guilty!
So yeah, "the team" and "colleague" and "bossman". I'm a grown-up Hobbit now, which apparently included stumbling into a job. That was another funny thing. You may remember that I've been freelancing for a regional magazine. Just after Easter, I got a call from bossman that he wanted to talk to me about something. So I, feeling apprehensive, went there. First, bossman plucked an article by me to pieces. Then he asked how I was envisioning my future with their magazine. I thought Oh, here goes, I'm gonna get the boot, so there was nothing to loose, so I said "Well, if I get to make a wish, I'd like permanent employment, really. But I can only work part-time because of my kids."
Bossman: "How many hours part-time?"
Moi: "Like, 20?"
Bossman: "Well, you can't replace S. (the editor in chief) on 20 hours."
Moi: *WTF HAVE YOU SECRETLY BEEN OFFERING ME THE EDITOR IN CHIEF POSITION WTF WTF* "Yeah, I know."
Bossman: "We can call it a traineeship though."
Moi: *WTF WTF*
BUT I am apparently a ~raw diamond~ and bossman is a ~visionary~.
The proper technical German term is Volontariat, which sounds like volunteering, which isn't really what it is - it's a paid traineeship. The misleading term comes from the olden days when teens, being not yet of age, were put into apprenticeship by their parents, whereas you put yourself (voluntarily) into a Volontariat, which generally requires having finished university (at which time you have come of age, even in the olden days when the legal age was 21). Anyway. I got myself into a voluntary paid apprenticeship?
I basically came back home from that only to learn that in fact, the mother-in-law won't be able to look after the kids even 20 hours a week (+ driving) after all. So either I'll get them kindergarten or daycare spots REALLY SOON (hahahahahahaha) or the traineeship will be over before it really started. Haha.
(Also, this is basically ALL MY PROBLEM. Because Jörg has OTHER PROBLEMS. Guess who encouraged me to apply for stuff BEFORE the childcare situation is securely resolved? DING DING DING! To be fair, Jörg has been fighting pneumonia the past weeks, but it was ALL MY PROBLEM before the pneumonia hit him, too.)
The editor in chief has been replaced by the guy from Dortmund. Who is nice. But although he's got more job experience, I don't really feel that he's more qualified than I am. Except in that his wife takes care of his daughter. So he can work full time. So he is boss colleague and I am the trainee. BECAUSE I'M A GIRL.
Before you can get your feminist boots of rage on (and believe me, I'm sometimes tempted to do so), I have to admit that it can be quite a relief to be only the trainee. Like, boss colleague had to stay in the office until 19:30 today because Something Important (TM) came up. Whereas I managed to leave at 5 pm, yay.
Or today:
Bossman: "And one of you can coach the Syrian guys."
Boss colleague and I: "AHAHAH WE'RE JUST FINDING OUR OWN FEET HERE!"
Bossman: "C., can you do that?"
Moi: "Um, not sure I can do them justice in my time here?"
Bossman: "OK, J., you do it! You can start by organising this and that appointment ~"
Boss colleague: "....... I'm just finding my feet?"
I'M SO HAPPY I'M A GIRL.
The Syrian guys are the result of bossman being a ~visionary~. It's not enough that he's running a regional magazine that manages to do decent journalism in the middle of nowhere. He also wants to run a regional magazine for refugees. Awesome plan! But do you have to start a complicated new project when your editor in chief is leaving the team and you have to teach two newbies the ropes? Except with the whole new editorial team for the additional magazine, there actually are six newbies on the team? With whom you not only have to set up a whole new thing, but also battle German bureaucracy? YMMV.
BUT it's been tremendous fun so far. Which is very dangerous, because I'm like "eh well, I'd be blogging now anyway, so I can as well feed the magazine's Wordpress calendar a bit". So I keep on working at home. Instead of updating you all on the EXCITING THINGS going on in my life. (I'm trying to be positive and say EXCITING rather than SCARY CRAZY.) I'm terrified it won't work out in the long run, because I like the job description and, in spite of the warnings from the parting editor in chief, think bossman is pretty cool. And finishing a traineeship would certainly be useful in the future. Still not certain that I want to be a journalist forever, but at least it's high on the list of things I want to do. Even though I'm already discovering that I'm actually lacking the ambition to be more than a ~raw diamond~. I'm happy with being a ~raw diamond~. It must be tiring being a Silmaril.
Speaking of which, when I came home all exhilarated after the traineeship offer only to be met by indifference and awkward news, I had to go and write a lot of awkward, repetitive Nerdanel and Fëanor bickering for Golden Days. The new chapter is now 9 pages long, completely stuck, and probably a horror to read. I haven't yet had the heart (or time) to give it a second look. The trouble with writing as a job is that I can't really turn to writing as a leisure activity anymore.
Anyway! Exciting times. I hope I'll figure out the childcare issue. And the work/life balance thingy.
Firstly, thank you very much to everyone who wished me a Happy Birthday! It was an OK day. Because it was a birthday, OK is disappointing. Your messages made it a little more special, so I really, really appreciate them. I'll try to thank you all personally, but in case I'll take a bit longer to do that, I already wanted you to know that I'm very grateful. <3
A very happy belated birthday to everybody whose birthdays I missed! Especially hamnar, of whom I was today reminded because bossman told me to contact "our IT guy", but not to be surprised because "he lives in the Far East".
Moi: "You mean the Near East?" (Most of the new guys on the team are from the Near East, except for new boss colleague, who is from the Ruhr area.)
Bossman: "No, the Far East. Saxony. What's it called. Here, thingy, Freiberg."
And I thought OMG FREIBERG IT GUY CAN IT BE HAMNAR?! OH CRAP YOU FORGOT HIS BIRTHDAY!
It wasn't him, but I still felt really guilty!
So yeah, "the team" and "colleague" and "bossman". I'm a grown-up Hobbit now, which apparently included stumbling into a job. That was another funny thing. You may remember that I've been freelancing for a regional magazine. Just after Easter, I got a call from bossman that he wanted to talk to me about something. So I, feeling apprehensive, went there. First, bossman plucked an article by me to pieces. Then he asked how I was envisioning my future with their magazine. I thought Oh, here goes, I'm gonna get the boot, so there was nothing to loose, so I said "Well, if I get to make a wish, I'd like permanent employment, really. But I can only work part-time because of my kids."
Bossman: "How many hours part-time?"
Moi: "Like, 20?"
Bossman: "Well, you can't replace S. (the editor in chief) on 20 hours."
Moi: *WTF HAVE YOU SECRETLY BEEN OFFERING ME THE EDITOR IN CHIEF POSITION WTF WTF* "Yeah, I know."
Bossman: "We can call it a traineeship though."
Moi: *WTF WTF*
BUT I am apparently a ~raw diamond~ and bossman is a ~visionary~.
The proper technical German term is Volontariat, which sounds like volunteering, which isn't really what it is - it's a paid traineeship. The misleading term comes from the olden days when teens, being not yet of age, were put into apprenticeship by their parents, whereas you put yourself (voluntarily) into a Volontariat, which generally requires having finished university (at which time you have come of age, even in the olden days when the legal age was 21). Anyway. I got myself into a voluntary paid apprenticeship?
I basically came back home from that only to learn that in fact, the mother-in-law won't be able to look after the kids even 20 hours a week (+ driving) after all. So either I'll get them kindergarten or daycare spots REALLY SOON (hahahahahahaha) or the traineeship will be over before it really started. Haha.
(Also, this is basically ALL MY PROBLEM. Because Jörg has OTHER PROBLEMS. Guess who encouraged me to apply for stuff BEFORE the childcare situation is securely resolved? DING DING DING! To be fair, Jörg has been fighting pneumonia the past weeks, but it was ALL MY PROBLEM before the pneumonia hit him, too.)
The editor in chief has been replaced by the guy from Dortmund. Who is nice. But although he's got more job experience, I don't really feel that he's more qualified than I am. Except in that his wife takes care of his daughter. So he can work full time. So he is boss colleague and I am the trainee. BECAUSE I'M A GIRL.
Before you can get your feminist boots of rage on (and believe me, I'm sometimes tempted to do so), I have to admit that it can be quite a relief to be only the trainee. Like, boss colleague had to stay in the office until 19:30 today because Something Important (TM) came up. Whereas I managed to leave at 5 pm, yay.
Or today:
Bossman: "And one of you can coach the Syrian guys."
Boss colleague and I: "AHAHAH WE'RE JUST FINDING OUR OWN FEET HERE!"
Bossman: "C., can you do that?"
Moi: "Um, not sure I can do them justice in my time here?"
Bossman: "OK, J., you do it! You can start by organising this and that appointment ~"
Boss colleague: "....... I'm just finding my feet?"
I'M SO HAPPY I'M A GIRL.
The Syrian guys are the result of bossman being a ~visionary~. It's not enough that he's running a regional magazine that manages to do decent journalism in the middle of nowhere. He also wants to run a regional magazine for refugees. Awesome plan! But do you have to start a complicated new project when your editor in chief is leaving the team and you have to teach two newbies the ropes? Except with the whole new editorial team for the additional magazine, there actually are six newbies on the team? With whom you not only have to set up a whole new thing, but also battle German bureaucracy? YMMV.
BUT it's been tremendous fun so far. Which is very dangerous, because I'm like "eh well, I'd be blogging now anyway, so I can as well feed the magazine's Wordpress calendar a bit". So I keep on working at home. Instead of updating you all on the EXCITING THINGS going on in my life. (I'm trying to be positive and say EXCITING rather than SCARY CRAZY.) I'm terrified it won't work out in the long run, because I like the job description and, in spite of the warnings from the parting editor in chief, think bossman is pretty cool. And finishing a traineeship would certainly be useful in the future. Still not certain that I want to be a journalist forever, but at least it's high on the list of things I want to do. Even though I'm already discovering that I'm actually lacking the ambition to be more than a ~raw diamond~. I'm happy with being a ~raw diamond~. It must be tiring being a Silmaril.
Speaking of which, when I came home all exhilarated after the traineeship offer only to be met by indifference and awkward news, I had to go and write a lot of awkward, repetitive Nerdanel and Fëanor bickering for Golden Days. The new chapter is now 9 pages long, completely stuck, and probably a horror to read. I haven't yet had the heart (or time) to give it a second look. The trouble with writing as a job is that I can't really turn to writing as a leisure activity anymore.
Anyway! Exciting times. I hope I'll figure out the childcare issue. And the work/life balance thingy.