Boy, Is This Crazy!
It's pretty crazy. Today in school we had to give presentations on the new state quarters but grandmama says we can't afford new quarters so I got an F. My teacher, Mrs. Xavier (or as I like to call her, Mrs. Bad Behavior!) said that the poor don't need preferential treatment; they need a good slap in the mouth. I said, "Ouch." And then at recess I was drilling on my Rubiks Cube (the convention's in April!!) and out of nowhere Joey "Gay" Weiserman comes up and is all, "Give me that, queer-boy!" and before I had a chance to come up with a comeback, like "Well at least I'm not gay!" he had taken it. "Only queers like Timmy play with Rubid's cubes," he said and started twisting it and f-ing up my pattern. "Hey," I said, "you're f-ing up my pattern!" He threw it in the thorn bush and said, "If your queer butt wants it so bad, why don't you go get it and marry it then, fag-shitter!" So I guess my queer butt wanted it pretty badly cuz I crawled in and got it. It wasn't my first time in a big thorny bush. I told grandmama of my day's events and she said I could crawl into her big thorny bush any time and laughed so hard her cigarette fell out of her mouth but that's weird; she's not very into horticulture--it's hard to have bushes in a duplex. Goddamn that butt-arm Joey Weiserman and that smelly old bag Mrs. Xavier! I hate them more than my dad. But don't worry though, I can bench 130 lbs.