(no subject)
Speaking of silly boys, I found out yesterday that a particular silly boy I know is fourteen years my senior, which is also five years older than I was hoping for him to be, but really, actually, when I sat down and thought about it and guessed his age, I guessed correctly. So that was kind of a slap in the face, you know? It's one thing to think you know something, to be pretty sure, but without any solidity or confirmation and then it's something totally different when it's actually there in black and white (literally) in front of you. Maybe that's not true for you. Maybe just for me because I like to live in denial and ignorance.
Anyway, I feel like I have a lot of things to do and I keep forgetting them -- or a lot of things I mean to do but they're just past this haze of something and I can't get through it, but for my sake and no one else's here's a small list
- Finish cleaning room
- Drop off bag of crap at goodwill
- Order books for aerobics certification
- Write Kelsey
But in terms of more conceptual to dos, or bigger picture to dos, I want to become better acquainted with myself. I think its peculiar that Ben, from simply observing, told me so definitely how I act and deal with things, but I, who have spent an eternity of time with myself, didn't realize it until it was put in front of my face like that. I want to know better who I am and like Jacey said, that will benefit different areas of my life like (gasp) decision making. If I know who I am, what I want, what I like, then it should be a lot clearer (more clear) what choice is correct and it'll probably give me a clearer or at least slightly more narrow direction.
I also have wanted to institute a morning routine and it seems like Mondays are the only days it works out, however, in trying, I have continued to progress in the individual areas I wanted which was more the goal than the actual accomplishment of routine.
I finished reading Wuthering Heights by Charlotte Bronte's sister, Emily. I didn't like it at all. I really wanted to get to know Catherine Earnshaw Linton but I never really got to and I sort of wanted her and Heathcliff to be together but they were just so barbaric that you sort of just wanted them both to continue on miserably because they didn't deserve happiness, they were both too wretched. Mostly Heathcliff, and you were never allowed to see their love more than a glimpse at a time so you had nothing to found your empathy on. Little Catherine I sort of felt sorry for but my feelings were mostly abhorrence to the way she was tricked into marrying Linton Heathcliff and how he behaved and I just wanted to know why Heathcliff acted the way he did. I thought there would be some all telling look into his insides that explained something at least a little but there was never anything. He was just horrid and still Ellen found it in her to feel sad at his death. Wtf.
Anyway, I feel like I have a lot of things to do and I keep forgetting them -- or a lot of things I mean to do but they're just past this haze of something and I can't get through it, but for my sake and no one else's here's a small list
- Finish cleaning room
- Drop off bag of crap at goodwill
- Order books for aerobics certification
- Write Kelsey
But in terms of more conceptual to dos, or bigger picture to dos, I want to become better acquainted with myself. I think its peculiar that Ben, from simply observing, told me so definitely how I act and deal with things, but I, who have spent an eternity of time with myself, didn't realize it until it was put in front of my face like that. I want to know better who I am and like Jacey said, that will benefit different areas of my life like (gasp) decision making. If I know who I am, what I want, what I like, then it should be a lot clearer (more clear) what choice is correct and it'll probably give me a clearer or at least slightly more narrow direction.
I also have wanted to institute a morning routine and it seems like Mondays are the only days it works out, however, in trying, I have continued to progress in the individual areas I wanted which was more the goal than the actual accomplishment of routine.
I finished reading Wuthering Heights by Charlotte Bronte's sister, Emily. I didn't like it at all. I really wanted to get to know Catherine Earnshaw Linton but I never really got to and I sort of wanted her and Heathcliff to be together but they were just so barbaric that you sort of just wanted them both to continue on miserably because they didn't deserve happiness, they were both too wretched. Mostly Heathcliff, and you were never allowed to see their love more than a glimpse at a time so you had nothing to found your empathy on. Little Catherine I sort of felt sorry for but my feelings were mostly abhorrence to the way she was tricked into marrying Linton Heathcliff and how he behaved and I just wanted to know why Heathcliff acted the way he did. I thought there would be some all telling look into his insides that explained something at least a little but there was never anything. He was just horrid and still Ellen found it in her to feel sad at his death. Wtf.