fuck i feel fucked
this girl i've been dating gave me the "let's be friends" bullshit line last night. i almost cried. i hardly even know her, but things had been going so well.. then i find out she's making out with some other dude the same night i did at this halloween party.. and she says, okay, well i don't know what ot tell you, let's get together on friday.. now what the fuck is that!?? friday she calls me (last night) and says i can't see you tonight, let's be friends, i'll call you sometime.. WHAT DID I DO WRONGA?!?? nothing.. i'm so not upset anymore, but i was so upset last night.. i could do way better than her anyway. fucksticks.. three times since my heart got ripped out this has happened.. i've fucked it all up for myself somehow.. i slowly watched all the great things that were happening in my life go right back to shitty fuckall in the space of a month.. at least i've still got my music.
i'm going to record today, hopefully with ami if she calls me... that will make me feel better. i'm going to fully recouperate from this hangover and get a good night's sleep tonight before work.
last night i got so drunk.. like, more drunk than normal, and even more drunk than the times that are drunker than normal... i'm insanely hungover today, but for once i feel like it was absolutely justified.. spending 90 bucks at the bar, and taking cabs and buying poutine and going for breakfast at Dusty's today... i feel like "yes, i'm okay, i am NOT a shitty loser who is digified by NO girls" and that's good. i like dancing, and i love dancing, and drinking and smiling at girls who are so beautiful that their presence induces fainting.. . i love going for crazy missions to wierdo places where i'm totally not wanted, but still being crazy and on a mission.. and smoking pot at laura's house on a big mattress in the middle of the living room floor..
i've got a show next friday at the FOKUS gallery, and that should be intense after the crazy lecture we got about the poor people dying in iraq and afganistan last time.. this time we're playing to benefit the gallery so if we get any shit, i'll be pissed off.. i'd love to go into a tirade explaining this whole affair, but i don't have the time..
blah.. ya i'm looking forward to playing a show, and laura's the host so i'll be playing with her again so that's cool.. she's a hella singer/songwriter.. i can't wait for shira to get back from toronto and we can rehearse for it...
my buddy cody is totally a great keyboard player, we played some nutty shit last night... he's going to have to jam with me and shira asap... as a drummer though.. i'm going to book that slot at beaubien today.. as soon as evan gets off the fuckin phone.
alright.. not much else to say.. that was complete.
i'm going to record today, hopefully with ami if she calls me... that will make me feel better. i'm going to fully recouperate from this hangover and get a good night's sleep tonight before work.
last night i got so drunk.. like, more drunk than normal, and even more drunk than the times that are drunker than normal... i'm insanely hungover today, but for once i feel like it was absolutely justified.. spending 90 bucks at the bar, and taking cabs and buying poutine and going for breakfast at Dusty's today... i feel like "yes, i'm okay, i am NOT a shitty loser who is digified by NO girls" and that's good. i like dancing, and i love dancing, and drinking and smiling at girls who are so beautiful that their presence induces fainting.. . i love going for crazy missions to wierdo places where i'm totally not wanted, but still being crazy and on a mission.. and smoking pot at laura's house on a big mattress in the middle of the living room floor..
i've got a show next friday at the FOKUS gallery, and that should be intense after the crazy lecture we got about the poor people dying in iraq and afganistan last time.. this time we're playing to benefit the gallery so if we get any shit, i'll be pissed off.. i'd love to go into a tirade explaining this whole affair, but i don't have the time..
blah.. ya i'm looking forward to playing a show, and laura's the host so i'll be playing with her again so that's cool.. she's a hella singer/songwriter.. i can't wait for shira to get back from toronto and we can rehearse for it...
my buddy cody is totally a great keyboard player, we played some nutty shit last night... he's going to have to jam with me and shira asap... as a drummer though.. i'm going to book that slot at beaubien today.. as soon as evan gets off the fuckin phone.
alright.. not much else to say.. that was complete.