(no subject)
holy shit. everything sucks.
so, i've been going to training everyday this week meaning waking up really early. tomorrow i was so looking forward to sleeping in. but i have to get a physical for work. and the only time that worked with my schedule was 845am friday morning. so fuck.
i came back to my mom's tonight, so i could drive to the doctors form here. it has been nice to see her and eat good food and sleep in my own bed. my dogs are becoming less interested in me because im not here that often and when i am i smell like other dogs. maybe it's just my imagination.
and west is coming home this weekend. to work. and i expected to see him tomorrow night. that's what we've been saying. instead we got into a big argument tonight (more like i yelled at him for a while). basically, he is really busy all the time with school and working to make money for school and living, and i am exhausted all the time from working and i just want to see him so badly but i feel like he doesn't really make time for me. i think i am being selflish. i think i am not accepting that my partner is a bit scatterbrained and forgets about things a lot. i think that i am coming from a place of privilage in not realizing how important it is for him to be working as much as he is, to be making money.
i think i am getting a third migraine in a week. i think i feel like a floater, with no real living situation. i think i feel like i just want my problems to be center staged and for him to help me. i think i am tired of apoligizing, but i dont want to fight anymore.
so, i've been going to training everyday this week meaning waking up really early. tomorrow i was so looking forward to sleeping in. but i have to get a physical for work. and the only time that worked with my schedule was 845am friday morning. so fuck.
i came back to my mom's tonight, so i could drive to the doctors form here. it has been nice to see her and eat good food and sleep in my own bed. my dogs are becoming less interested in me because im not here that often and when i am i smell like other dogs. maybe it's just my imagination.
and west is coming home this weekend. to work. and i expected to see him tomorrow night. that's what we've been saying. instead we got into a big argument tonight (more like i yelled at him for a while). basically, he is really busy all the time with school and working to make money for school and living, and i am exhausted all the time from working and i just want to see him so badly but i feel like he doesn't really make time for me. i think i am being selflish. i think i am not accepting that my partner is a bit scatterbrained and forgets about things a lot. i think that i am coming from a place of privilage in not realizing how important it is for him to be working as much as he is, to be making money.
i think i am getting a third migraine in a week. i think i feel like a floater, with no real living situation. i think i feel like i just want my problems to be center staged and for him to help me. i think i am tired of apoligizing, but i dont want to fight anymore.