(no subject)
things are breezing along. im already a month into this experience. the lifelines have spiked and plummeted. my heart has gone into arrest, been defibulated, and found a comfortable resting rate.
i really feel like i am on a visit to the cottage. yesterday running around bredesen...seeing all sorts of wildlife, having the sun shine on me, feeling the fresh hyperoxygenated breeze blow through me, it was so damn nice. the insoles are proving a lifesaver...for the first time, i dont have pain. my walks around the lake with k are something i think we both look forward to...despite all the fallen around me, our friendship stands strong. its nice to be able to confide and be confided in and know that the world at large will never understand the connection that is coveted in the transmission.
spending time at muddy's seeing familiar faces and having good long chats with strong inspirational friends that remind me of how valuable existing to others can be and is to me; its complicated, but i have realized so much of what i had put to sleep in an effort to survive, meaning mostly, how much of myself i had made invisible to the waiting world.
a 5 hour conversation ended up breaking the clouds and i am more in touch with myself than i have been in a very, very long time.
there is a stillness that i have honed in on despite all the action that is transpiring.
i dont do things the conventional way, and i am SO fucking happy for it. bloody knuckles all the way.
i really feel like i am on a visit to the cottage. yesterday running around bredesen...seeing all sorts of wildlife, having the sun shine on me, feeling the fresh hyperoxygenated breeze blow through me, it was so damn nice. the insoles are proving a lifesaver...for the first time, i dont have pain. my walks around the lake with k are something i think we both look forward to...despite all the fallen around me, our friendship stands strong. its nice to be able to confide and be confided in and know that the world at large will never understand the connection that is coveted in the transmission.
spending time at muddy's seeing familiar faces and having good long chats with strong inspirational friends that remind me of how valuable existing to others can be and is to me; its complicated, but i have realized so much of what i had put to sleep in an effort to survive, meaning mostly, how much of myself i had made invisible to the waiting world.
a 5 hour conversation ended up breaking the clouds and i am more in touch with myself than i have been in a very, very long time.
there is a stillness that i have honed in on despite all the action that is transpiring.
i dont do things the conventional way, and i am SO fucking happy for it. bloody knuckles all the way.