Life is like a C.Y.O.A. book.
Before you delve further into this post, keep this in mind:
I'm never really on here any more, I know. And when I am on, I always try to fill my posts with things that make me personally happy. I've become a pretty boring read, I'll admit. But there's always so much drama on the internet that I never like to talk about my own. It's not that I intend to cause drama with the cut, but I always feel like it could turn into that (since porn and drama are the two internet constants - and I'm pretty sure LJ hates boobs at this point).
A while ago, I reached an impasse in my life. It started back when I was going to DeVry. I was a decent student, although I had proven myself to be better at the creative side of the GPS courses, excelling more in classes that allowed me to be as original as I wanted to be while still teaching me how to do the work. It was stressful maintaining a full-time job and schoolwork, especially when I was in-training for both c-level mechanic and manager-on-duty as well. My job wanted me to proceed down this career path, and I was left to decide.
Long story short, I fucked up both and now I'm working part-time at a GameStop - getting nowhere in life. During this time, I had three mental breakdowns, which was only exacerbated when one of the two people I love started dating another guy. Jealous and bitter, but feeling I needed to escape, I turned to smoking pot to take my mind off of the troubles, and allow me to concentrate on what I needed to do with myself. I'm finally starting to get it right.
I went to my friend's house about two weeks ago. He's one of those types of guys that you hate, but only because they're always right. Because of that, he earned my respect and my friendship. I don't think he always gets the full picture, but he listens. While there, he and I were talking about my ex-girlfriend, and how poorly that relationship ended. He struck a nerve, and I went off on him. I didn't hit him. I wanted to, but I didn't. I didn't do it because he was right.
Coming to my senses, I apologized for my outburst. I had to stop and think - Just what the hell am I doing? I could have gotten myself thrown in jail for something stupid! That's just what I need - one more thing that'll completely fuck my life over!
I told myself that something needed to change. I couldn't figure out what it was yet, but I think I'm getting it now. Krissy's moving out soon, which is forcing me to make another big decision: What do I do next? I refuse to fuck up any more. From this point forward, I have to know exactly what I'm going to do with myself.
I'm about to show my cards, fellas. Here's hoping I've got a good enough hand.
I'm never really on here any more, I know. And when I am on, I always try to fill my posts with things that make me personally happy. I've become a pretty boring read, I'll admit. But there's always so much drama on the internet that I never like to talk about my own. It's not that I intend to cause drama with the cut, but I always feel like it could turn into that (since porn and drama are the two internet constants - and I'm pretty sure LJ hates boobs at this point).
A while ago, I reached an impasse in my life. It started back when I was going to DeVry. I was a decent student, although I had proven myself to be better at the creative side of the GPS courses, excelling more in classes that allowed me to be as original as I wanted to be while still teaching me how to do the work. It was stressful maintaining a full-time job and schoolwork, especially when I was in-training for both c-level mechanic and manager-on-duty as well. My job wanted me to proceed down this career path, and I was left to decide.
Long story short, I fucked up both and now I'm working part-time at a GameStop - getting nowhere in life. During this time, I had three mental breakdowns, which was only exacerbated when one of the two people I love started dating another guy. Jealous and bitter, but feeling I needed to escape, I turned to smoking pot to take my mind off of the troubles, and allow me to concentrate on what I needed to do with myself. I'm finally starting to get it right.
I went to my friend's house about two weeks ago. He's one of those types of guys that you hate, but only because they're always right. Because of that, he earned my respect and my friendship. I don't think he always gets the full picture, but he listens. While there, he and I were talking about my ex-girlfriend, and how poorly that relationship ended. He struck a nerve, and I went off on him. I didn't hit him. I wanted to, but I didn't. I didn't do it because he was right.
Coming to my senses, I apologized for my outburst. I had to stop and think - Just what the hell am I doing? I could have gotten myself thrown in jail for something stupid! That's just what I need - one more thing that'll completely fuck my life over!
I told myself that something needed to change. I couldn't figure out what it was yet, but I think I'm getting it now. Krissy's moving out soon, which is forcing me to make another big decision: What do I do next? I refuse to fuck up any more. From this point forward, I have to know exactly what I'm going to do with myself.
I'm about to show my cards, fellas. Here's hoping I've got a good enough hand.