Calvinball - Best Sport Ever
Based on what I remember of the first movie, as have not seen the second.
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Disclaimer: Which is not mine. And Calvinball is from Calvin and Hobbes.
Summary: Jack. Elizabeth. Calvinball. Figure it out.
Pairing: Kinda Jack/Elizabeth-ish bent, but really gen.
"Do you want to play a game?" Jack asked.
"What?" Elizabeth asked.
"Well, you said you were bored, young miss. So, do you want to play a game? I know a great one."
"All right," she said, smiling. "What kind of game?"
"I'll explain." Jack fished out two masks from somewhere in his pockets, and held one out to her. "Wear this."
"What?" Elizabeth looked at the mask curiously. "Why?"
"It's essential."
"But--"
"No one is allowed to question the masks," Jack said sagely.
Wondering what she had gotten herself into, she did as she was told.
*
"What are the rules?" Elizabeth asked as Jack digged up various flags, bags, some sort of leather ball and two sturdy-looking sticks.
"They're not rules so much as... guidelines."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning, we make them up as we go along."
She frowned. "And how do you win this game?"
Jack looked appalled. "You poor deluded dear."
*
"Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me. We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack," Elizabeth sang, hopping on one foot.
"All right, we'll say that's enough," Jack admitted finally.
Elizabeth stopped immediatedly, trying to catch her breath. "This is ridiculous," she said.
"Of course."
"And my mask is in my eyes."
Jack shook his head. "Look, if you want to have fun, you need to play. It won't work if you just protest to everything."
"This is the Zone of Me Calling Time Out So I Can Straighten My Mask," Elizabeth said.
*
"Lass, that's the Crawling Area," Jack said as Elizabeth readied to hit the ball with the stick she was holding.
"What?"
"The Crawling Area," he said smugly. "It means you need to crawl from now on."
"Well, uh," she stuttered, and quickly picked up a flag. "This is the No Crawling Flag, so no, I don't."
"Now you're getting it." Jack nodded approvingly. "However, as it happens, I'm standing in the Opposite Flag Zone, so that means your No Crawling Flag is useless, and you still need to crawl."
Elizabeth swatted Jack with the No Crawling Flag. "Since you're in the Opposite Flag Zone, now you need to crawl, too."
"Damn," he said.
And so they both crawled until Jack found the Standing Up Straight Place.
*
"What are you two doing?" Will asked as he watched Jack and Elizabeth, who was jumping around in a bag, chase a ball.
"We're playing a game," Elizabeth yelled as she bounced past him.
"Oh." Will paused for a moment, and watched as Jack touched Elizabeth with the Give Up the Ball Flag. "Can I play, too?"
"I don't see why not," Jack said.
But soon he did.
*
"I know you said one doesn't win this game, but he's kind of winning this game," Elizabeth whispered to Jack. Will, as it turned out, was a natural genius in whatever-this-game's-name-was.
For some reason, it pissed her off. It appeared to piss Jack off, too.
"Hey, no whispering," Will said.
"Hold on a minute," Jack said, and picked up a rock.
"What?"
"This, Will, is the Rock of Victory. It means we win, me and Elizabeth. In fact, we win so much you needn't join any future game with us, because we've already won them, too."
"That's right," Elizabeth said, and nodded.
"So, enjoy our victory," Jack said and threw the Rock of Victory away. "And now, I'm going to go toast our victory. You are not welcome to join." He grabbed Elizabeth by the shoulders, and they both sauntered off imperiously.
"Sore losers," Will said, smirking, and picked up the Rock of Victory.
*
"You know he's going to think we are sore losers," Elizabeth said.
Jack sipped rum petulantly.
"Which we, of course, are," she added.
Jack poignantly did not answer.
"Pass on the rum?"
"Get your own, missy" Jack said.
Elizabeth smiled, and raised a flag she had been holding in her hands. "As it happens, this is the Rum Flag..."
Fandom: Pirates of the Caribbean
Disclaimer: Which is not mine. And Calvinball is from Calvin and Hobbes.
Summary: Jack. Elizabeth. Calvinball. Figure it out.
Pairing: Kinda Jack/Elizabeth-ish bent, but really gen.
"Do you want to play a game?" Jack asked.
"What?" Elizabeth asked.
"Well, you said you were bored, young miss. So, do you want to play a game? I know a great one."
"All right," she said, smiling. "What kind of game?"
"I'll explain." Jack fished out two masks from somewhere in his pockets, and held one out to her. "Wear this."
"What?" Elizabeth looked at the mask curiously. "Why?"
"It's essential."
"But--"
"No one is allowed to question the masks," Jack said sagely.
Wondering what she had gotten herself into, she did as she was told.
*
"What are the rules?" Elizabeth asked as Jack digged up various flags, bags, some sort of leather ball and two sturdy-looking sticks.
"They're not rules so much as... guidelines."
"Meaning?"
"Meaning, we make them up as we go along."
She frowned. "And how do you win this game?"
Jack looked appalled. "You poor deluded dear."
*
"Yo ho, yo ho a pirate's life for me. We extort, we pilfer, we filch and sack," Elizabeth sang, hopping on one foot.
"All right, we'll say that's enough," Jack admitted finally.
Elizabeth stopped immediatedly, trying to catch her breath. "This is ridiculous," she said.
"Of course."
"And my mask is in my eyes."
Jack shook his head. "Look, if you want to have fun, you need to play. It won't work if you just protest to everything."
"This is the Zone of Me Calling Time Out So I Can Straighten My Mask," Elizabeth said.
*
"Lass, that's the Crawling Area," Jack said as Elizabeth readied to hit the ball with the stick she was holding.
"What?"
"The Crawling Area," he said smugly. "It means you need to crawl from now on."
"Well, uh," she stuttered, and quickly picked up a flag. "This is the No Crawling Flag, so no, I don't."
"Now you're getting it." Jack nodded approvingly. "However, as it happens, I'm standing in the Opposite Flag Zone, so that means your No Crawling Flag is useless, and you still need to crawl."
Elizabeth swatted Jack with the No Crawling Flag. "Since you're in the Opposite Flag Zone, now you need to crawl, too."
"Damn," he said.
And so they both crawled until Jack found the Standing Up Straight Place.
*
"What are you two doing?" Will asked as he watched Jack and Elizabeth, who was jumping around in a bag, chase a ball.
"We're playing a game," Elizabeth yelled as she bounced past him.
"Oh." Will paused for a moment, and watched as Jack touched Elizabeth with the Give Up the Ball Flag. "Can I play, too?"
"I don't see why not," Jack said.
But soon he did.
*
"I know you said one doesn't win this game, but he's kind of winning this game," Elizabeth whispered to Jack. Will, as it turned out, was a natural genius in whatever-this-game's-name-was.
For some reason, it pissed her off. It appeared to piss Jack off, too.
"Hey, no whispering," Will said.
"Hold on a minute," Jack said, and picked up a rock.
"What?"
"This, Will, is the Rock of Victory. It means we win, me and Elizabeth. In fact, we win so much you needn't join any future game with us, because we've already won them, too."
"That's right," Elizabeth said, and nodded.
"So, enjoy our victory," Jack said and threw the Rock of Victory away. "And now, I'm going to go toast our victory. You are not welcome to join." He grabbed Elizabeth by the shoulders, and they both sauntered off imperiously.
"Sore losers," Will said, smirking, and picked up the Rock of Victory.
*
"You know he's going to think we are sore losers," Elizabeth said.
Jack sipped rum petulantly.
"Which we, of course, are," she added.
Jack poignantly did not answer.
"Pass on the rum?"
"Get your own, missy" Jack said.
Elizabeth smiled, and raised a flag she had been holding in her hands. "As it happens, this is the Rum Flag..."