a rant
Dear clothes manufacturers:
I recently went shopping and tried fitting into clothes but there is one fact a lot of you seem to forget. I know I am not the only one who goes through this, but, my thighs and hips are womanly. They are big and round, inviting the alleged breeding that one day will occur. Sometimes, if I have spent the entire week walking, you can see the strong traces of muscle on my legs and sometimes you get to see this magnificent curve that brings my waist into a greeting turf with my hips.
I must've done something wrong because I don't fit in the size 10 at the GAP and yet I seem to float in Lane Bryant clothes. Apparently, I am not an "average size" nor am I a plus size, although most clothes manages to make me feel like that. Your manufacturing style makes me really self-counscious.
I am tired of my legs being too long or too short. I am exhausted after chasing this ideal that is nowhere to be found. I am really tired trying to explain myself that 20 lbs are a healthy loss but it seems most images push the idea of losing 60+ lbs on me. I don't believe I can lose that.
Aside from feeling left out from the average americans, I feel sometimes really self-depracating. I throw apologies to the wind but there is a huge portion of me that wonders who am I apologizing to and for what? I hope you can help me with this since you seem utterly confident about the image everyone should be buying into.
Sometimes I cry at random points during the day, but it gets pretty bad when I am cooking in the kitchen. I dream of being 5'9" and a lean 110 lbs. I wish my skin was flawless, and that my hips were boyish and that my thighs didn't exist at all. I wish my mouth were pouty and that my eye color was anything but brown. I thought my face was pretty but then this research came out saying symmetrical faces were the REAL pretty. I wonder about this research because everywhere I look, I see beauty.
Why couldn't I be one of the pretty people? I do not know why I am only 5'7.5" and weigh more than life itself. I do not know why my breasts are so plump finding a bra that holds everything together with no spilling on the sides is so damn hard. I don't know why some jeans are really loose on the waist but extremely tight on the ass. I dont know why my skin breaks out more often than not or why my feet are labeled as LARGE when all they are is feet.
Dear manufacturers, please stop selling me this idea of me being beautiful one day.
I think I deserve to feel beautiful right now.
Sincerely,
Olga Montenegro
5'7.5"
180 lbs
size 12 (or 14 if bloated)
I recently went shopping and tried fitting into clothes but there is one fact a lot of you seem to forget. I know I am not the only one who goes through this, but, my thighs and hips are womanly. They are big and round, inviting the alleged breeding that one day will occur. Sometimes, if I have spent the entire week walking, you can see the strong traces of muscle on my legs and sometimes you get to see this magnificent curve that brings my waist into a greeting turf with my hips.
I must've done something wrong because I don't fit in the size 10 at the GAP and yet I seem to float in Lane Bryant clothes. Apparently, I am not an "average size" nor am I a plus size, although most clothes manages to make me feel like that. Your manufacturing style makes me really self-counscious.
I am tired of my legs being too long or too short. I am exhausted after chasing this ideal that is nowhere to be found. I am really tired trying to explain myself that 20 lbs are a healthy loss but it seems most images push the idea of losing 60+ lbs on me. I don't believe I can lose that.
Aside from feeling left out from the average americans, I feel sometimes really self-depracating. I throw apologies to the wind but there is a huge portion of me that wonders who am I apologizing to and for what? I hope you can help me with this since you seem utterly confident about the image everyone should be buying into.
Sometimes I cry at random points during the day, but it gets pretty bad when I am cooking in the kitchen. I dream of being 5'9" and a lean 110 lbs. I wish my skin was flawless, and that my hips were boyish and that my thighs didn't exist at all. I wish my mouth were pouty and that my eye color was anything but brown. I thought my face was pretty but then this research came out saying symmetrical faces were the REAL pretty. I wonder about this research because everywhere I look, I see beauty.
Why couldn't I be one of the pretty people? I do not know why I am only 5'7.5" and weigh more than life itself. I do not know why my breasts are so plump finding a bra that holds everything together with no spilling on the sides is so damn hard. I don't know why some jeans are really loose on the waist but extremely tight on the ass. I dont know why my skin breaks out more often than not or why my feet are labeled as LARGE when all they are is feet.
Dear manufacturers, please stop selling me this idea of me being beautiful one day.
I think I deserve to feel beautiful right now.
Sincerely,
Olga Montenegro
5'7.5"
180 lbs
size 12 (or 14 if bloated)