Night Thoughts, Part Two
I'm waiting.
There are big things planned, big things indeed. But not right now, so I'm waiting. I feel like I've been waiting for many years now.
One of those big things is graduation, which is taking place in early August for me. I just shot four years into the basketball net of life from the free throw line for a point that didn't matter because my team lost anyway.
It was not a swish.
It was clumsy and awkward. It was messy and confusing. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't elegant, but it went in. That's all that's important, I think. I don't dwell on the graduation itself, really, I'm more worried about what happens afterwards. Let me condense a number of important things real quick.
Last December, after having a discussion with one of my old professors, I was told about the Composition and Rhetoric program at Florida State University that I knew nothing about before that discussion but soon realized was the perfect thing for me. For those who may not know what that program is, like I did, it's basically a Master's program that emphasizes the technical (and more practical) uses of writing. Comp/Rhet can go many places, from corporate writing, technical writing, copywriting, and is one of the pillars needed to teach writing on a post-secondary level. That last one is the most important one for me, since I recently felt that was exactly what I wanted to do. The nice thing about Comp/Rhet at FSU is that the faculty there are pretty influential in that field, including the director of the program, Dr. Kathy Yancey, whose name goes pretty far in those circles. Most important to me, however, is the fact that the Comp/Rhet program at FSU offers a teachership initiative which basically allows a student to teach three freshman writing courses a semester while taking their own courses. In exchange for teaching the class one gains personal experience teaching, since said student will have to grade papers, create the syllabus, and carry out all lectures by themselves. MOST importantly, however, is the fact that a teachership waives tuition fees and grants the student a $5,000 stipend every term. It's not a lot, I know, but in effect the school will pay me to do its program.
Cool beans indeed.
But, sadly, I did not get into the Composition and Rhetoric program. This year anyway. Simply put, when I was first learning about the program, that was the end of the period of time the school was accepting applications for this Summer. And one can only be accepted into a teachership position during Summer because that's the training period. What this basically means is that I have to wait ONE WHOLE YEAR before I'm able to do this program I never knew existed but so desperately need.
Not cool beans. Cold beans. Freezing beans.
So I'm waiting. I have to take one bullshit class this summer for me to graduate, the last few credits I need. Easy peasy Japan-easy. I'm also going to be doing a small "internship" which one of the professors who teaches this Comp/Rhet program. It's less an internship and more a, as my roommate calls it, "keep-me-company-while-I-write-a-book"-ship. Basically this professor is writing an academic book and I'll be helping him edit the chapters he completes during the summer before he has to submit it to be published. It won't be glamorous, or even fun, but it's a connection I'll really need if I hope to get into the program next year. Which I do. I have my letters of recommendation all together, I have my writing portolio together, and I'll be doing the GRE in due time. But none of these things happens until May 11th, and even when they take place, the fact remains I have to wait half a year to re-apply, wait another four months, to find out if I was accepted. And if accepted I start exactly one year from now.
Which comes back to my original problem.
What do I do after graduation? I do what every other person my age is probably trying to do. I look for a job. And all I have to show for these past four years will be a little piece of paper with my name on it that's supposed to magically grant me access to jobs and stuff. I have less than a year of work experience and the longest I've ever stayed at a job was exactly 90 days. This does not bode well. I have to leave living relatively on my own for the past four years in order to return to South Florida and live with my parents for a year. While there I'll have to find a job and somehow try not to go insane or get depressed being in the same house that I felt so happy to leave what feels like a lifetime ago. Oh well, though. Could be worse. I could be dead. Or white.
So I'm waiting. Waiting for classes to start next Monday. Waiting for graduation in August. Waiting for a job. Waiting for graduate school. Waiting for a reason to start doing stuff again. Because when I don't have things to do, I end up doing what I did today. Which goes thusly: wake up at 2pm, eat something, play Yakuza 2, attempt to shower, use the bathroom, and eat again, write this post, masturbate, go to sleep. The last two are optional.
Note that I'm not waiting for a bitch. I was once, not too long ago even, but not anymore. That stuff will just have to wait on me. I think right now I'm more surprised by the things I actually endeavor to do more than the things themselves. If I never learned about the Comp/Rhet program, I don't think I'd ever have a reason for graduate school and nothing to really look forward to after graduation. I mean, to be totally honest, the only thing I would be looking forward to after graduation is Diablo 3. And knowing Blizzard it'll come out right when I no longer care to play it.
I feel...abrasive. Waiting sucks.
P.S. - I made an online portfolio for one of my workshop classes that I rather like. I'm just gonna keep it around, I may need it someday, I may not. Still makes me feel good though. emanij.webs.com
There are big things planned, big things indeed. But not right now, so I'm waiting. I feel like I've been waiting for many years now.
One of those big things is graduation, which is taking place in early August for me. I just shot four years into the basketball net of life from the free throw line for a point that didn't matter because my team lost anyway.
It was not a swish.
It was clumsy and awkward. It was messy and confusing. It wasn't pretty, it wasn't elegant, but it went in. That's all that's important, I think. I don't dwell on the graduation itself, really, I'm more worried about what happens afterwards. Let me condense a number of important things real quick.
Last December, after having a discussion with one of my old professors, I was told about the Composition and Rhetoric program at Florida State University that I knew nothing about before that discussion but soon realized was the perfect thing for me. For those who may not know what that program is, like I did, it's basically a Master's program that emphasizes the technical (and more practical) uses of writing. Comp/Rhet can go many places, from corporate writing, technical writing, copywriting, and is one of the pillars needed to teach writing on a post-secondary level. That last one is the most important one for me, since I recently felt that was exactly what I wanted to do. The nice thing about Comp/Rhet at FSU is that the faculty there are pretty influential in that field, including the director of the program, Dr. Kathy Yancey, whose name goes pretty far in those circles. Most important to me, however, is the fact that the Comp/Rhet program at FSU offers a teachership initiative which basically allows a student to teach three freshman writing courses a semester while taking their own courses. In exchange for teaching the class one gains personal experience teaching, since said student will have to grade papers, create the syllabus, and carry out all lectures by themselves. MOST importantly, however, is the fact that a teachership waives tuition fees and grants the student a $5,000 stipend every term. It's not a lot, I know, but in effect the school will pay me to do its program.
Cool beans indeed.
But, sadly, I did not get into the Composition and Rhetoric program. This year anyway. Simply put, when I was first learning about the program, that was the end of the period of time the school was accepting applications for this Summer. And one can only be accepted into a teachership position during Summer because that's the training period. What this basically means is that I have to wait ONE WHOLE YEAR before I'm able to do this program I never knew existed but so desperately need.
Not cool beans. Cold beans. Freezing beans.
So I'm waiting. I have to take one bullshit class this summer for me to graduate, the last few credits I need. Easy peasy Japan-easy. I'm also going to be doing a small "internship" which one of the professors who teaches this Comp/Rhet program. It's less an internship and more a, as my roommate calls it, "keep-me-company-while-I-write-a-book"-ship. Basically this professor is writing an academic book and I'll be helping him edit the chapters he completes during the summer before he has to submit it to be published. It won't be glamorous, or even fun, but it's a connection I'll really need if I hope to get into the program next year. Which I do. I have my letters of recommendation all together, I have my writing portolio together, and I'll be doing the GRE in due time. But none of these things happens until May 11th, and even when they take place, the fact remains I have to wait half a year to re-apply, wait another four months, to find out if I was accepted. And if accepted I start exactly one year from now.
Which comes back to my original problem.
What do I do after graduation? I do what every other person my age is probably trying to do. I look for a job. And all I have to show for these past four years will be a little piece of paper with my name on it that's supposed to magically grant me access to jobs and stuff. I have less than a year of work experience and the longest I've ever stayed at a job was exactly 90 days. This does not bode well. I have to leave living relatively on my own for the past four years in order to return to South Florida and live with my parents for a year. While there I'll have to find a job and somehow try not to go insane or get depressed being in the same house that I felt so happy to leave what feels like a lifetime ago. Oh well, though. Could be worse. I could be dead. Or white.
So I'm waiting. Waiting for classes to start next Monday. Waiting for graduation in August. Waiting for a job. Waiting for graduate school. Waiting for a reason to start doing stuff again. Because when I don't have things to do, I end up doing what I did today. Which goes thusly: wake up at 2pm, eat something, play Yakuza 2, attempt to shower, use the bathroom, and eat again, write this post, masturbate, go to sleep. The last two are optional.
Note that I'm not waiting for a bitch. I was once, not too long ago even, but not anymore. That stuff will just have to wait on me. I think right now I'm more surprised by the things I actually endeavor to do more than the things themselves. If I never learned about the Comp/Rhet program, I don't think I'd ever have a reason for graduate school and nothing to really look forward to after graduation. I mean, to be totally honest, the only thing I would be looking forward to after graduation is Diablo 3. And knowing Blizzard it'll come out right when I no longer care to play it.
I feel...abrasive. Waiting sucks.
P.S. - I made an online portfolio for one of my workshop classes that I rather like. I'm just gonna keep it around, I may need it someday, I may not. Still makes me feel good though. emanij.webs.com