sunny but cold.
In honor of this, the first Easter i've spent without my family, i thought why not write a little entry for my friend, as an Easter present.
these past few days have been so great. mom and dad drove up on thursday night, and brother and i spent three nights with them, then said goodbye this morning around 10:30. so now i'm sitting alone in my room, feeling like doing a little spring cleaning, but also feeling a genuine sadness, because if i was in the black hills, i would be doing an easter egg hunt with the cousins right about now.
growing up is so hard, and i don't think i've realized this more than i have this year. this year has been a tough one for me. don't get me wrong, i still enjoy Olaf immensely and am generally happy, but i'm also discovering more every day about what it's like to be an adult and deal with those responsibilities. everyone goes through this, but i guess a part of me thought i never would have to. which is childish in itself.
i would rather be eating ham and stuffing and sitting around playing spoons with said cousins, aunt, uncle, mom, dad, grandparents than sitting alone in my room, missing everyone and trying to figure out what to do today. i also just discovered that i left my pajamas in the hotel bathroom, ahhh shit. one of my favorite t-shirts, irreplaceable: "i think, therefore, i amcon." from a class of mine. dammit.
so, like an adult, i need to stop thinking about what was and think about what is. i need to take charge of certain things in my life, and maybe start working out again and keeping a cleaner living space. things are done being handed to me. i think part of why i'm so down right now is because i miss my parents, not only how they are and how we interact, but the comfort that comes with being around them. i am cared for. i don't have to fend for myself. it's a childish sentiment, but true, isn't it?
my challenge for the next few weeks is to find things that get me excited about waking up every morning. as it is right now, things are looking bleak. that could just be because i'm hungry, there's a spider on the wall next to me (!), and it's colder than hell but beautiful out, which hurts a little because i would like to be outside right now.
and my room is a pit.
happy easter, though.
these past few days have been so great. mom and dad drove up on thursday night, and brother and i spent three nights with them, then said goodbye this morning around 10:30. so now i'm sitting alone in my room, feeling like doing a little spring cleaning, but also feeling a genuine sadness, because if i was in the black hills, i would be doing an easter egg hunt with the cousins right about now.
growing up is so hard, and i don't think i've realized this more than i have this year. this year has been a tough one for me. don't get me wrong, i still enjoy Olaf immensely and am generally happy, but i'm also discovering more every day about what it's like to be an adult and deal with those responsibilities. everyone goes through this, but i guess a part of me thought i never would have to. which is childish in itself.
i would rather be eating ham and stuffing and sitting around playing spoons with said cousins, aunt, uncle, mom, dad, grandparents than sitting alone in my room, missing everyone and trying to figure out what to do today. i also just discovered that i left my pajamas in the hotel bathroom, ahhh shit. one of my favorite t-shirts, irreplaceable: "i think, therefore, i amcon." from a class of mine. dammit.
so, like an adult, i need to stop thinking about what was and think about what is. i need to take charge of certain things in my life, and maybe start working out again and keeping a cleaner living space. things are done being handed to me. i think part of why i'm so down right now is because i miss my parents, not only how they are and how we interact, but the comfort that comes with being around them. i am cared for. i don't have to fend for myself. it's a childish sentiment, but true, isn't it?
my challenge for the next few weeks is to find things that get me excited about waking up every morning. as it is right now, things are looking bleak. that could just be because i'm hungry, there's a spider on the wall next to me (!), and it's colder than hell but beautiful out, which hurts a little because i would like to be outside right now.
and my room is a pit.
happy easter, though.