welcome to wyoming, wireless.
it may be hard for you to believe, but currently, i am laying on my stomach on my bed and typing this. what?! you ask. how am i able to do this? well all the colors aligned and brought wireless to my house. my dad set it up today. this is shocking because bob isn't too much of a techie...but this is also not shocking because he named the network "OLES." wow, dad. wow.
so this isn't good because now i can sit in my room on the internet and never have to leave. pretty much self-sufficient. all i really need is a water source and a bucket to do my business in and i think i'd be fine. maybe a little smelly, but if it's just me rolling around in here, why does that matter? i think i could get used to my stench.
actually that is one big fat lie. (although i liked how i referred to it as doing "business", like some grossed-out grandma would refer to her poodle or something.)
anyway my mind is everywhere at once tonight. which isn't unusual. most of the time, i just sit and listen to it bounce around in my head. which sometimes produces nice tunes. sometimes not so much. whatever, i try. so be it.
this might be kind of a long journal. but i don't really care because i don't know if people actually ever read this crap. well i know at least 3 people do sometimes (like danielle, holy balls...so bored you read EACH journal entry!?!?! that deserves the cliched but necessary ?!?!?!?!?! expression.)
okay i'll do my thoughts in list form. yayhollawoot.
1. my bedsheets are a yellow-goldish kind of color. they remind me of the paint color of the walls inside the Ole Store restaurant. when sun shines in on the mornings i can sleep in, they kind of blend in with my wall color (which is a lighter, less goldish color) and it's like i'm swimming in an endless sea of yellow. yellow is a good color, though. my ex boyfriend hated yellow. hated it. i painted my room this yellow color a few months before we broke it off. so i'm happy i did it. suckahhh.
2. speaking of the ex, i ran into him ("ketchup" is his code name) in the most strange of situations the other night. my bf mikey d. and i took a walk around our neighborhood around 10 one night this week, and his huge vehicle drove by, stopped, and he yelled out "ooooohhhh mike deal?!" mike yelled something, and i yelled "bitches and hos!" because really, who doesn't yell something classy along those lines at a moment like this? so they drive backwards, and the 'burb has not only ketchup but also his dad and second older brother. so we exchange pleasantries, etc, and they're like, "come up to the house! see what's in our trunk!" and i'm like, "maybe a dead body..." but no, it was 8 BOXES of fish they had just caught in Alaska. holy crap. so me and mike huck it up to their house and help unload the fish. they had so much, me and mike each got a bag of halibut/salmon/cod. that, and i got my crusty old shoes back (remember, the ones i left in their car for apparently 3 years.) it was good to see them/a little weird being in the house because of the memories. cheesy, i know, but it's weird. for real. and surreal. i haven't been there for at least 2 years. there was their dog, a blind old pug, running and barking; same pictures on the wall; same smells; same furniture arrangement. i forgot to look to see if our old prom pics were still up. it would have been funny. haha. like that. ketchup acted weird toward me though...we talk on the phone normally, but then it's face to face and it's like i'm invisible. which is a tad awk. there's nothing like awkwardness with ex-somethings, eh?
3. i bought laguna beach on dvd (for 16 bucks) and am currently listening to the lion king on broadway. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.
4. which reminds me: i need new music. i love my music. but i've listened to a LOT of the SAME thing this summer. yeesh.
5. (i know jake, i'll listen to those cds.)
6. how pumped am i to visit nfld/wausau? man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man ohhh mamma. sooo excited. but i'm playing phone tag with two of the people who i need to talk to the most about this all, and i hate phone tag more than armpits. (i already said that once today, but i think it needs to be repeated.)
7. my mind keeps going back to the news, in which there was a tragic car accident on the 4th of july. a 16 year old kid and his 15 yr old girlfriend were making a left turn from a gas station onto the busy highway to the lake, and didn't see this semi carrying soda ash...it bashed into them, killing them instantly. 16 and 15?!? those ages are so young. i couldn't imagine trying to get through this, as not only the family, but also the friends of these kids. it is just so tragic. i didn't know them or anything, but there's something so sad about this, it's stayed on my mind the past day or so.
8. i heard this news from one of my oldest friends, who stopped by the house for a few hours last night with her mom and her new baby. it was great to finally see her baby (absolutely adorable by the way...and i'm not even a "baby person") and talk to her about everything. there is something so surreal about having one of your best old friends have a baby, and sit there and nurse it while you talk about other old friends. inside your mind you think "wow, i still can feed myself half the time." it's insane. and when we talked about the kids who died, my friend shuddered and looked at her baby, as if to put a protective shield over her.
today at work while i did the mindless stuff, i got to thinking about how delicate life is in this way. how much work she is putting into this baby, spending every day attached to it (or vice -versa), and even with help has basically given her life to her kid. which is admirable. i'm proud of her. but here she puts at least 7 months into feeding her and being with her, and then will watch her slowly detach and form her own personality, followed by rebellion, etc., but basic growing up. all along trying to guide her and protect her.
then i thought about that kind of investment...all parents do it. good parents, at least. i couldn't imagine having something i'd worked so hard at, loved so much, given half of my physical being to, and supported for 16 years just taken away like that. in literally an instant.
the weight of adulthood will come in slow installments to me, i think.
9. i will not hang out again with people who i don't want to be with. i.e. the few i keep running into on outings with a mutual friend (who is a good friend of mine...at least he's there.) since this buddy is now gone, i won't have to see barbieclone/bubblesforbrains anymore. good. real maggie can return, which is always nice.
10. enough of this and the internet in general. i mean come on seriously.
(by the way, i'm falling in LOVE. .....with Matt Pond PA. it's a band, come on.)
so this isn't good because now i can sit in my room on the internet and never have to leave. pretty much self-sufficient. all i really need is a water source and a bucket to do my business in and i think i'd be fine. maybe a little smelly, but if it's just me rolling around in here, why does that matter? i think i could get used to my stench.
actually that is one big fat lie. (although i liked how i referred to it as doing "business", like some grossed-out grandma would refer to her poodle or something.)
anyway my mind is everywhere at once tonight. which isn't unusual. most of the time, i just sit and listen to it bounce around in my head. which sometimes produces nice tunes. sometimes not so much. whatever, i try. so be it.
this might be kind of a long journal. but i don't really care because i don't know if people actually ever read this crap. well i know at least 3 people do sometimes (like danielle, holy balls...so bored you read EACH journal entry!?!?! that deserves the cliched but necessary ?!?!?!?!?! expression.)
okay i'll do my thoughts in list form. yayhollawoot.
1. my bedsheets are a yellow-goldish kind of color. they remind me of the paint color of the walls inside the Ole Store restaurant. when sun shines in on the mornings i can sleep in, they kind of blend in with my wall color (which is a lighter, less goldish color) and it's like i'm swimming in an endless sea of yellow. yellow is a good color, though. my ex boyfriend hated yellow. hated it. i painted my room this yellow color a few months before we broke it off. so i'm happy i did it. suckahhh.
2. speaking of the ex, i ran into him ("ketchup" is his code name) in the most strange of situations the other night. my bf mikey d. and i took a walk around our neighborhood around 10 one night this week, and his huge vehicle drove by, stopped, and he yelled out "ooooohhhh mike deal?!" mike yelled something, and i yelled "bitches and hos!" because really, who doesn't yell something classy along those lines at a moment like this? so they drive backwards, and the 'burb has not only ketchup but also his dad and second older brother. so we exchange pleasantries, etc, and they're like, "come up to the house! see what's in our trunk!" and i'm like, "maybe a dead body..." but no, it was 8 BOXES of fish they had just caught in Alaska. holy crap. so me and mike huck it up to their house and help unload the fish. they had so much, me and mike each got a bag of halibut/salmon/cod. that, and i got my crusty old shoes back (remember, the ones i left in their car for apparently 3 years.) it was good to see them/a little weird being in the house because of the memories. cheesy, i know, but it's weird. for real. and surreal. i haven't been there for at least 2 years. there was their dog, a blind old pug, running and barking; same pictures on the wall; same smells; same furniture arrangement. i forgot to look to see if our old prom pics were still up. it would have been funny. haha. like that. ketchup acted weird toward me though...we talk on the phone normally, but then it's face to face and it's like i'm invisible. which is a tad awk. there's nothing like awkwardness with ex-somethings, eh?
3. i bought laguna beach on dvd (for 16 bucks) and am currently listening to the lion king on broadway. WHAT IS HAPPENING TO ME.
4. which reminds me: i need new music. i love my music. but i've listened to a LOT of the SAME thing this summer. yeesh.
5. (i know jake, i'll listen to those cds.)
6. how pumped am i to visit nfld/wausau? man oh man oh man oh man oh man oh man ohhh mamma. sooo excited. but i'm playing phone tag with two of the people who i need to talk to the most about this all, and i hate phone tag more than armpits. (i already said that once today, but i think it needs to be repeated.)
7. my mind keeps going back to the news, in which there was a tragic car accident on the 4th of july. a 16 year old kid and his 15 yr old girlfriend were making a left turn from a gas station onto the busy highway to the lake, and didn't see this semi carrying soda ash...it bashed into them, killing them instantly. 16 and 15?!? those ages are so young. i couldn't imagine trying to get through this, as not only the family, but also the friends of these kids. it is just so tragic. i didn't know them or anything, but there's something so sad about this, it's stayed on my mind the past day or so.
8. i heard this news from one of my oldest friends, who stopped by the house for a few hours last night with her mom and her new baby. it was great to finally see her baby (absolutely adorable by the way...and i'm not even a "baby person") and talk to her about everything. there is something so surreal about having one of your best old friends have a baby, and sit there and nurse it while you talk about other old friends. inside your mind you think "wow, i still can feed myself half the time." it's insane. and when we talked about the kids who died, my friend shuddered and looked at her baby, as if to put a protective shield over her.
today at work while i did the mindless stuff, i got to thinking about how delicate life is in this way. how much work she is putting into this baby, spending every day attached to it (or vice -versa), and even with help has basically given her life to her kid. which is admirable. i'm proud of her. but here she puts at least 7 months into feeding her and being with her, and then will watch her slowly detach and form her own personality, followed by rebellion, etc., but basic growing up. all along trying to guide her and protect her.
then i thought about that kind of investment...all parents do it. good parents, at least. i couldn't imagine having something i'd worked so hard at, loved so much, given half of my physical being to, and supported for 16 years just taken away like that. in literally an instant.
the weight of adulthood will come in slow installments to me, i think.
9. i will not hang out again with people who i don't want to be with. i.e. the few i keep running into on outings with a mutual friend (who is a good friend of mine...at least he's there.) since this buddy is now gone, i won't have to see barbieclone/bubblesforbrains anymore. good. real maggie can return, which is always nice.
10. enough of this and the internet in general. i mean come on seriously.
(by the way, i'm falling in LOVE. .....with Matt Pond PA. it's a band, come on.)