I'm getting help soon.
Well I managed to tell my mom about my depression and that I am a cutter. I am going to a counselor sometime this week to get things straightened out. Hopefully everything will go uphill from here. Leigh is an awesome counselor, and I am praying that she can help me. We ARE moving back to bluegrass, so I think that will help. It won't be the same apartment, but at least I will be across from the school again, yay!...I will be closer to Lindsay, so that way when I get mad or need someone, I can just walk over to her house. Well I am grounded for the next five days. I only get one hour on the computer a day because I was up so late on there a few days ago. Things will get better, I know they will. I am trying to keep my chin up. Mom told me that I don't need to cut anymore. She did the whole "pinky promise" thing with me, so hopefully I can stay true to my word. I AM very depressed right now, but Leigh has helped me before. I know she can do it again. *attempts to keep chin high* ...well, once we are settled into our apartment, I hope that everything will settle down. I am sure it will. I have my friends to rely on (i.e. Molly and Lindsay)...I'm just glad my mom believes that I wouldn't try to commit suicide, because I would NEVER do that. I want to be that happy Stephanie that I always was, and hope to become once again. I just didn't want to feel like this anymore. Everyone says that I seem more down than I was, only because it's true. I think the friends that I have influence me to remain depressed and cut myself because they are cutters, also...not Molly and Lindsay, but my "other" friends.
hmm hmm...
Once again, I am stoked that we found a new place to move to so quickly. It MUST be God working through it all because I don't know what else it COULD be.
heh...
I wish I could go on with life carefree...right now I can't, but I am looking forward to a future that way. ^_^ I really am trying...I really am.
I would have told my mom sooner, but I was scared she would be mad at me or something. She said I could tell her anything I want, and..knowing me...I started crying. I'm so sensitive, and I don't know why..although, I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. All I can do is pray that things go smoothly from here on out. *prays hard* I'm going to be optimistic, or try my hardest to be at least.
hmm hmm...
Once again, I am stoked that we found a new place to move to so quickly. It MUST be God working through it all because I don't know what else it COULD be.
heh...
I wish I could go on with life carefree...right now I can't, but I am looking forward to a future that way. ^_^ I really am trying...I really am.
I would have told my mom sooner, but I was scared she would be mad at me or something. She said I could tell her anything I want, and..knowing me...I started crying. I'm so sensitive, and I don't know why..although, I don't think that is necessarily a bad thing. All I can do is pray that things go smoothly from here on out. *prays hard* I'm going to be optimistic, or try my hardest to be at least.