Title: Three Aliens Walk Into a Bar
Author: Tommygirl/
storydivagirlRating: PG
Fandom: Roswell
Characters: Isabel, Kyle, Lonnie, Rath & Ava
Written For:
butterflykiki, who wanted Roswell - anyone, although bonus points for Ava or Lonnie & Isabel - Antar, Earth, and/or other worlds. I hope this fits the bill.
A/N: Thanks so much to
bitchygurl for the amazing beta work at the last minute. She helped to make this better and I hope I managed to pull it off. Feedback always appreciated.
Three Aliens Walked Into a Bar
Isabel was having the dreams again. She didn’t really need sleep, usually spending the time invading other people’s dreams, and that made the visions all the more strange. She would close her eyes for a few moments of peace and be hit with startling images, smells...feelings. It was odd to find herself on the other side of things, to have her mind invaded with things not her making.
Kivar had told her once that Volandra was still within her, fighting to get out. She had written him off as crazy - she loved Jesse and her family and would never hurt them - but the dreams made her wonder.
Isabel plopped down on the first bar stool she could find and let out a groan of frustration. It was enough to get Kyle’s attention from behind the bar and he immediately served up her usual Diet Coke. She pulled her hair out of its bun and said, “I hate retail. Today I spent four hours unfolding shirts, moving them to another table, and refolding them. I started thinking that not even the government could torture me any worse than that.”
Kyle chuckled and said, “I get off in another ten minutes. Just think-we get to leave and do it all over again tomorrow.”
“You really know how to cheer a girl up, Kyle. You know that?” Isabel dropped her head on the table and took a deep breath, feeling the weariness in her bones. “Who knew doing nothing could be so damn tiring?”
“Such is life.”
“And I’m having the dreams again, so I’m a bit freaked out,” Isabel said. She tried to keep her voice as casual as possible, as though she was talking about the weather.
It didn’t work. Kyle’s eyes filled with concern and he frowned. “Maybe you should talk to Max.”
“And tell him that I’m having more visions of myself betraying him and going stark raving mad? Yeah, that’ll go over well.”
“The last time you had dreams like these, Kivar showed up.”
“It’s not like the last time. I don’t think the dreams are a good thing and I definitely don't enjoy them, but it’s different than before. And Kivar isn’t a part of them,” Isabel replied. She groaned again and said, “My feet are killing me.”
Kyle accepted her change of topic. It was why she could tell him these things. He never freaked out on her, never demanded any more than she was willing and able to give. It was why he was her best friend. He said, “Wait until you have to lift heavy equipment all morning and then come work at the friendly neighborhood dive bar. Then we’ll talk.”
“Poor baby.”
Kyle shrugged and his eyes wandered down the bar. After a few seconds of quiet, he asked, “Ever hear the joke about three aliens walking into the same bar?”
Isabel rolled her eyes. She really wasn’t in the mood for Kyle’s sad attempts at cheering her up. Her life was already bad enough - living on the run with people who were decidedly not her husband to escape government agents gung-ho on exterminating her while working retail in the middle of nowhere - without Kyle giving her a headache. Or worse, thinking he was funny.
Kyle patted her hand, motioned to the door, and said, “Because they just walked in and are heading right for you. Including your punk rock twin.”
Isabel’s entire posture straightened and she tried to clear her mind enough to be ready to do whatever she had to in order to get her and Kyle out of there safely. It would’ve been easier if she didn’t have the exact same abilities as Lonnie, especially since Lonnie was also a conniving monster to boot.
“If you guys are really trying to hide, ya think you’d make it a bit harder to be found,” Lonnie commented. She sat down on the stool next to Isabel with a shit-eating grin and focused her gaze on Kyle. “Whattaya say, barkeep? Drink for an old friend?”
“You’re not our friend. None of you are,” Isabel said, looking from Lonnie to Ava to Rath before focusing her gaze back on Lonnie. God, she hated her. She hated everything Lonnie was, everything she reminded Isabel could be looming inside of her.
Lonnie shrugged and looked expectantly at Kyle until he grabbed an empty glass. Her smile widened and she said, “Whatever you have on tap will do.” She shifted in the stool until she was completely facing Isabel. It was like looking in the mirror and seeing the devil on her shoulder.
“So how’ve ya been, Is? I hear Kivar came to take you home and you shot him down for some stupid human.”
“These guys never were too bright,” Rath added, stealing Lonnie’s drink off the bar, earning him a quick glare, but Lonnie’s attention remained on Isabel.
She shook her head and said, “I really thought, in the end, you would figure things out.”
“What? Like you?” Isabel scoffed. She glanced at Kyle, trying to urge him to get the hell out of the bar before something happened. It’s not that she thought Lonnie was dumb enough to start something in a crowded bar, but she didn’t want to risk it. Too many people in her life had been taken from her already and she would be damned if these three rejects from the alien pod did anymore damage.
Of course, this was Kyle and nothing penetrated his thick head. He simply stared at her, watching her in that way he did that made her feel protected and completely weirded out.
“Like me? We’re the same, little miss goodie two shoes. We’re Volandra and you can’t undo all that you did. Who you really are.”
“You don’t know her,” Kyle stated. The certainty behind his words caused a smile to form on Isabel’s face.
Lonnie noticed it right away and cackled. “You and him? You passed up on Kivar for this waste of space?”
“We’re friends. I know it’s a foreign concept to you guys…” Isabel glanced at Ava and asked, “What are you doing? I thought you were going to start over? Away from these two?”
Before Ava could answer, Lonnie raised a hand to quiet her and answered, “Ava doesn’t turn her back on her family. At least not for long.”
“They killed your Max. You said they were crazy,” Isabel said to Ava.
“Don’t act like you’ve never wanted to strangle the life out of that sanctimonious king of ours,” Lonnie replied.
Isabel pretended not to hear that. She knew it wasn’t true. Max made her angry a lot and she didn’t always agree with him, but she would never hurt him like that. It didn’t mean that Lonnie didn’t manage to get under her skin and make her doubt herself. Isabel asked, “Is Ava incapable of speaking for herself?”
Ava shrugged and said, “What’s done is done and I needed someone watching my back after all the attention you guys brought down on us.”
“Which brings us to why we’re here…right Lonnie?” Rath said.
Lonnie nodded and said, “You crazy kids have really made life hard for us. How can we eek out a life of our own with feds breathing down our necks all the time?”
Isabel motioned around the bar. The only reason the place was filled with customers was because it was in the middle of nowhere. Not many options for an evening outside the run down homes except the road side bar on the edge of town. She said, “In case you haven’t noticed, life isn’t exactly a walk in the park for us either.”
“Yeah, but Tess was your problem, not mine,” Lonnie said. She sighed melodramatically and added, “You don’t like me. That’s fine, sister, because I’m not too fond of you. You’ve wasted everything you were given. You turned your back on Kivar, on home, and for what? This. Good job.”
“You don’t know a thing about me.” Lonnie rolled her eyes at Isabel’s protestations and waved her off as though Isabel was an insignificance, there to indulge Lonnie’s whims and nothing more. Isabel’s temper flared at the thought - they showed up at her door, not the other way around - and she snapped, “And I’m really not interested in dealing with psychos, so goodbye.”
She spun around on her stool, only to have Lonnie turn it back around and get right up in her face. “We’re not done here, sweetie.”
Isabel knew she should probably be scared. She knew Lonnie was unhinged from their past dealings, but she couldn’t muster up any fear. She was too annoyed. Life was bad enough a lot of the time and she didn’t need Lonnie making it worse. And it would’ve been so easy to pull on her own power and send the bitch flying across the room.
Instead, she glanced at Kyle and said, “Get lost, Lonnie.”
“Is that anyway to talk to family?”
“I’ve seen how you treat your family, and I want no parts of it.”
“Fair enough,” Lonnie shrugged. She moved back to her stool, took a sip of her drink, and said, “I’m here for money and I’m not going anywhere until I get it.”
Kyle laughed and said, “Yeah, sure, we’ll just hand over our gold cards.”
“You have the same abilities that we do and no ethics whatsoever. Why do you need my help?” Isabel asked.
“We need cold hard cash. Anything electronic is too risky. But I have an aversion to working. I’m a princess. I don’t do menial labor.” Lonnie stared at Isabel’s name badge - god, she hated that Lonnie saw that, why was she still wearing the stupid thing - and smiled wickedly.
“Me either,” Rath said. “Well, minus the princess stuff.”
“I guess it’s time the two of you learn to take care of yourselves like normal adults,” Isabel replied. She could still feel Lonnie’s gaze boring into her, as though Lonnie could see the day that had played out before Isabel’s eyes as if it had happened to her. She hated that Lonnie could make her feel this way. She didn’t particularly like her job or what her life had become, but she was never ashamed of it. Not until the three miscreants walked through the door.
Rath snickered and said, “You guys are way too obsessed with normal.”
“And it hasn’t gotten you very far. You’re worse off than we are,” Lonnie added.
Isabel folded her arms and said, “Then you shouldn’t need our help.”
“Like I said. This is your problem, not mine, and I’m not going to suffer for it,” Lonnie said. She smiled at Kyle and said, “So, hand it over.”
Isabel hated that Kyle immediately dumped the contents of his pockets - about twenty bucks - on the top of the bar. Kyle pushed it at them and said, “There you go. My tips for the night so far. And this is a busy night.”
Lonnie kept her gaze locked on Isabel and said, “That’s not going to get us anywhere, least of all out of your hair.”
“Well, it’s all I've got,” Kyle replied.
“Bye now,” Isabel said.
“You really don’t want it to go down like this.”
“I’m not scared of you.”
“Then you’re an idiot because I can be plenty scary,” Lonnie replied. Isabel didn’t doubt it was true. She knew from her own dreams of times back on Antar as Volandra that she was more than capable of doing whatever she deemed necessary. Lonnie pulled a piece of paper out of her pocket and handed it to Rath. She said, “Apartment 15, Union Road. It would only take the police about ten minutes to get there and grab your brother and Michael. They could be dead before your drink is empty.”
Isabel kept her arms crossed, her fingers digging into her skin to keep from reaching out and strangling Lonnie. She couldn’t cause a scene. She couldn’t use her powers because Lonnie would know and retaliate just as fast and not care who got hurt in the process. She hated the look of triumph on Lonnie’s face, but what choice did Isabel have? She couldn’t risk her family and friends. They were all she had.
Isabel groaned and grabbed her purse from the bar. She pulled out the money she stashed away in case they needed it for a quick exit. She shoved it at Lonnie and said, “There’s two hundred there. Enough to get you on a bus away from me.”
Lonnie grinned as she took the money. She said, “I knew I could count on you, Isabel. Always so responsible and prepared.”
”Don’t make this a habit. I haven’t forgotten what you tried to do to Max and now that I know you’re still trying to wreak havoc on our lives, I’ll be ready.”
Lonnie jumped off the stool and patted Isabel on the shoulder. She said, “Volandra is in there, all right. Pretend all you like, but one day, she’ll take control and you’ll be no different than me.”
“I’m nothing like you and I thank God for that every night,” Isabel replied. She pointed to the exit and said, “And I meant what I said, Lonnie.”
“No one ever tells me what to do,” Lonnie replied. She motioned to Rath and Ava, who simply followed her out of the bar without a second glance.
Once they were out the door, Isabel let out a sigh of relief. She said, “That was unexpected.”
“Sorta makes our trivial woes seem small in comparison. I mean, you could have a Mohawk.”
Isabel smiled. “Shut up.”
“And a nose ring.”
She laughed. “I could kill you.”
“Yeah, but you wouldn’t. You’re not her,” Kyle replied, motioning to the door where the others had exited.
“We need to get out of here. Find the others and tell them what happened,” Isabel replied. She gulped down her untouched drink. “On the bright side, we might get to move on and I won’t have to fold shirts ever again.”
Kyle dropped his dish rag on the bar and made his way around the bar. Isabel joined him at the exit and he draped his arm over her shoulder. He said, “I see you working tables at a truck stop next time.”
Isabel shuddered at the thought. She said, “As long as I don’t end up like Lonnie, I’ll muddle through. I don’t have to like it though.”
“You’re nothing like her, Is.”
“Sometimes I’m not so sure.”
“Well, I am. Always.”
“What about the dreams?”
“I have dreams where I start running people over in my car because it rains. Dreams aren’t always literal,” Kyle answered.
“But it’s different-“
“Only if you make it that way. I know you, Isabel.”
Isabel looped her arm around Kyle’s. She handed him the keys to the truck and said, “I almost feel sorry for her.”
“Hhhmm?”
“Lonnie. She really doesn’t care about anyone. It must be so lonely.” Isabel glanced at Kyle and shrugged. “I’m glad I have you and the others. I hate this life sometimes...okay, most of the time...but it could be worse.”
“I’ll remind you of that next time you’re bitching about hangers and super sales.”
Isabel laughed. She knew she should be worried about Lonnie’s reappearance in her life, but in the long run, it was just another bump in the road. And she’d get through it like she always did, with her family by her side.
{Fin}