Dabbling once again in geeky song parody-dom
They let me off work again after only two hours. Other than cursorily checking Craigslist for any last-minute singles prospects, I've suddenly a lull of free time of a variety that is welcome. New readers probably won't be so familiar with the fact that I used to be quite the accomplished song parody-writer, i.e. writing new lyrics to an existing melody. Those who wish for previous specimens of the art, please view The Existentialist Song and The Annex Song, though the former requires at least a basic knowledge of the philosophers and philosophies of existentialism and phenomenology (as well as Monty Python geekery, which is not in short supply in the present company), while the latter is entirely contextual and relies heavily on knowledge of both my former housemates and the names and qualities of the buildings at Simon's Rock College of Bard. Following through on my usual bad habit of writing song parodies which are heavily contextual, I had Beborn Beton's "Forever" (one of my favorite songs at the moment, and one which has a place on every mix of slightly melodramatic electronic breakup songs ever; if anyone wants a copy, I'll send you one.) and the Star Wars cantina music in two different parts of my brain as I was standing in the bathroom shaving this morning, and the following song just kind of came out from there. It won't make sense to anyone but Star Wars (or former Star Wars) geeks who also happen to have a penchant for somewhat whiny electronic music, but I'm posting it here anyway. It's the story of how Greedo, the bounty hunter who got shot by Han Solo in Episode IV, got his job, fucked up, died, and is now sadly reflecting on his crappy decision making process from beyond the grave. And I am horribly amused by the fact that I've singlehandedly turned him from a brash alien thug to a sensitive, slightly effeminate creature tinged by pain and betrayal and fond of melodramatic, posthumous self-reflection amid gorgeous electronic orchestrations. If I can merge Greedo and Beborn Beton, I shudder to think of what will happen when anyone merges, say, Cookie Monster and the Sisters of Mercy (and I already know the answer to that one - it's called Crematory's cover of "Temple of Love"). But I think the point here can be grasped pretty easily.
And without any further ado,
Greedo's Last Farewell
to the tune of "Forever" by Beborn Beton
I lost my life in the Star Wars cantina,
Han Solo shot me from under the bar.
And I guess that I've failed
To live up to my own expectations
And I'm blinded by pain
To realize I was set up by Jabba.
My brother and I once set out from our planet in vain.
We travelled from here and to there till he died one day and I wanted revenge in the rain.
So I went off to Jabba enraged.
And he saw that I wanted to prove
That I had what it takes to be tough on my enemies-
-"Here is my offer, now tell me just what's it you say"
So he told me to rough up this Solo and get him to pay
For what he did to his hold full of spice.
So I told him I would go along.
Now I realize I should have been careful
But I had to prove myself so I said yes and then -
I lost my life in the Star Wars cantina,
Han Solo shot me from under the bar.
And I guess that I've failed
To live up to my own expectations
And I'm blinded by pain
To realize I was set up by Jabba.
I went down to the spaceport and found out that he wasn't alone.
That big hairy furball he travels with might decide to break every one of my bones.
So I packed a spare blaster in case.
And I went to the bar and confronted him, but I didn't realize he was palming his weapon, and-
I lost my life in the Star Wars cantina,
Han Solo shot me from under the bar.
And I guess that I've failed
To live up to my own expectations
And I'm blinded by pain
To realize I was set up by Jabba.
And without any further ado,
Greedo's Last Farewell
to the tune of "Forever" by Beborn Beton
I lost my life in the Star Wars cantina,
Han Solo shot me from under the bar.
And I guess that I've failed
To live up to my own expectations
And I'm blinded by pain
To realize I was set up by Jabba.
My brother and I once set out from our planet in vain.
We travelled from here and to there till he died one day and I wanted revenge in the rain.
So I went off to Jabba enraged.
And he saw that I wanted to prove
That I had what it takes to be tough on my enemies-
-"Here is my offer, now tell me just what's it you say"
So he told me to rough up this Solo and get him to pay
For what he did to his hold full of spice.
So I told him I would go along.
Now I realize I should have been careful
But I had to prove myself so I said yes and then -
I lost my life in the Star Wars cantina,
Han Solo shot me from under the bar.
And I guess that I've failed
To live up to my own expectations
And I'm blinded by pain
To realize I was set up by Jabba.
I went down to the spaceport and found out that he wasn't alone.
That big hairy furball he travels with might decide to break every one of my bones.
So I packed a spare blaster in case.
And I went to the bar and confronted him, but I didn't realize he was palming his weapon, and-
I lost my life in the Star Wars cantina,
Han Solo shot me from under the bar.
And I guess that I've failed
To live up to my own expectations
And I'm blinded by pain
To realize I was set up by Jabba.