Times Change. So do People Too
Back for another ep, long over due i suppose. It seems im only compelled to write in here when something big or deeply affects me. This entry will not be any different.
I spent many years thinking i had a real connect with someone(not romantic, not even close!!!!). Despite long pauses where we lose contact due to our busy lifestyles, only to pick back up months later right where we were the last time. Just like good ol times. Now I begin to doubt that
10 years deep. Many trials and tribulations. Many ups and downs. A fallout that was disastorous, but thankfully was resolved. Despite it all, i always thought that no matter how far we grew apart , we would always be best friends. Why is it that I always referred to him as that, without a flinch? Now who is the fool that speaks this talk.. to not have the other person show the same feelings.
If my wedding was bigger, would he not be by my left-side? The answer is simple. No Question!
Fast-forward 2-3 years ago. A person I was a mere aquaintance, never was a part of our core group back in high school, then becomes the roommate. Then becomes the best friend?
The leaves turn yellow and red. He sets forth on his path to a new life with his woman. To one day start a family and prosper. His new right hand man takes his iron hand to set forth a celebration of great grandeur, without any consideration of input from others.. perhaps to show off to the friend..perhaps its his nature to be a control freak. No democracy laid forth and any opposition met with blatant disrespect. Either you go or not, he says, we will celebrate on MY terms. What point then do you celebrate without ALL of your closest friends there? Selfishness, i pity you dearly. What will be left of you, right hand man , when our friend has wedded and you out of a home to stay?
Is it a suprise this new right hand man has been appointed to be by the leftside of our friend? No. Perhaps I saw this long coming but only doubted myself to make myself feel better at the time. Now that the word has been brought forth, the dye has been casted. Put a stake to my heart for I hurt. My eyes now wide open, for I see the dynamic of this relationship now. Where did it go wrong that I even had to question myself or be hurt that he chose the other? Perhaps this is karma for all the wrongs ive committed to him?
My wife said to me before, that friends will come and go. Even if they are the best of friends. Time really does tell you who your true friends are. Unfortunately,I can never express my feelings to him for it will change absolutely nothing and perhaps further more alienate what we have left as a friendship. To think back, I was always the one to reach out first. Now theres nothing left to reach.
I spent many years thinking i had a real connect with someone(not romantic, not even close!!!!). Despite long pauses where we lose contact due to our busy lifestyles, only to pick back up months later right where we were the last time. Just like good ol times. Now I begin to doubt that
10 years deep. Many trials and tribulations. Many ups and downs. A fallout that was disastorous, but thankfully was resolved. Despite it all, i always thought that no matter how far we grew apart , we would always be best friends. Why is it that I always referred to him as that, without a flinch? Now who is the fool that speaks this talk.. to not have the other person show the same feelings.
If my wedding was bigger, would he not be by my left-side? The answer is simple. No Question!
Fast-forward 2-3 years ago. A person I was a mere aquaintance, never was a part of our core group back in high school, then becomes the roommate. Then becomes the best friend?
The leaves turn yellow and red. He sets forth on his path to a new life with his woman. To one day start a family and prosper. His new right hand man takes his iron hand to set forth a celebration of great grandeur, without any consideration of input from others.. perhaps to show off to the friend..perhaps its his nature to be a control freak. No democracy laid forth and any opposition met with blatant disrespect. Either you go or not, he says, we will celebrate on MY terms. What point then do you celebrate without ALL of your closest friends there? Selfishness, i pity you dearly. What will be left of you, right hand man , when our friend has wedded and you out of a home to stay?
Is it a suprise this new right hand man has been appointed to be by the leftside of our friend? No. Perhaps I saw this long coming but only doubted myself to make myself feel better at the time. Now that the word has been brought forth, the dye has been casted. Put a stake to my heart for I hurt. My eyes now wide open, for I see the dynamic of this relationship now. Where did it go wrong that I even had to question myself or be hurt that he chose the other? Perhaps this is karma for all the wrongs ive committed to him?
My wife said to me before, that friends will come and go. Even if they are the best of friends. Time really does tell you who your true friends are. Unfortunately,I can never express my feelings to him for it will change absolutely nothing and perhaps further more alienate what we have left as a friendship. To think back, I was always the one to reach out first. Now theres nothing left to reach.