Lonely
I'm feeling lonely again tonight. I've noticed it's always worse right before bed, like now. When I try to clear my mind for rest, I wind up getting that intense need to connect with someone I love. Thats probably why I've been exhausted lately. I lay down for bed, then start to dwell. To try to clear my head I pick up a book or a game, and try to use that as a crutch. Unfortunately I still think about her during those times. I wind up reading or whatnot for hours. Next thing I know I have to wake up in 5 hours. I keep busy until I fall asleep from exhaustion. Until all the energy left in me is enough to turn out the light. I have to drive to Ft. Myers tomorrow. I better bring caffine. I'm going to be depressed while there. Savannah and I are still fighting pretty bad and I don't even know if I'm going to see her. Being away from friends and so close to Savannah is going to be hard unless we get along (not go back out, but at least as good of terms as we were on 2 weeks ago). I love that girl. I have to get up at 8 tomorrow, and its after midnight. I'm going to be for another hour online probably, then I'll read. It'll be 2 before I'm asleep. Life would be so much better if I could just relax in the near future. I've never been so *ucked up before. I hope I never will be again.