Texas Wildfires..
This is getting ridiculous. We had one break out at the George Bush Park about 7mi from my house yesterday, another one broke out a little while ago near an intersection [just off to the side of the road is the first report.] And others elsewhere. Now you can call me a hateful paranoid son of a bitch if you want but...........
1. If at least some of these fires aren't started by some mother fucking retard tossing their cigarette out the car window or just tossing it out of their hands as they walk the side of the road...I'm a monkey's uncle.
2. I fully believe that some of these fires are being INTENTIONALLY set by either stupid kid or some fire loving arsonist who just likes to watch shit burn.
My solution to the 2nd is easy and simple. if you are caught..and your handiwork is still burning homes and acre after acre of what used to be rather beautiful wooded areas..then you are going to be staked out in front of your firey creation naked. So you can enjoy the fruits of your labor.
My solution to the 1st is equally brutal..If I personally see you toss a lit cig out the window..I'm going to verbally rip you a new asshole and write down your plate number. If I catch you doing it again..I'm going to break both your arms and legs, roll you over, strap you down, shove the contents of your pack up your ass and light em.
Now do not get me wrong. I am not an anti smoking person. I used to smoke cigarettes socially..as in when I went out bar and club hopping which was at the time..pretty much every night. I also still enjoy on very rare occasions lighting up a good stogie and kicking back with it and a cold beer. So I'm by no means an anti smoker. I am however anti stupid. And shit like tossing your lit cigarettes out the car window, into a tinderbox dry grassy area in the middle of AN EXTREME FUCKING DROUGHT puts you on my ENTIRELY TOO STUPID TO BE ALLOWED TO LIVE list. That is all.
1. If at least some of these fires aren't started by some mother fucking retard tossing their cigarette out the car window or just tossing it out of their hands as they walk the side of the road...I'm a monkey's uncle.
2. I fully believe that some of these fires are being INTENTIONALLY set by either stupid kid or some fire loving arsonist who just likes to watch shit burn.
My solution to the 2nd is easy and simple. if you are caught..and your handiwork is still burning homes and acre after acre of what used to be rather beautiful wooded areas..then you are going to be staked out in front of your firey creation naked. So you can enjoy the fruits of your labor.
My solution to the 1st is equally brutal..If I personally see you toss a lit cig out the window..I'm going to verbally rip you a new asshole and write down your plate number. If I catch you doing it again..I'm going to break both your arms and legs, roll you over, strap you down, shove the contents of your pack up your ass and light em.
Now do not get me wrong. I am not an anti smoking person. I used to smoke cigarettes socially..as in when I went out bar and club hopping which was at the time..pretty much every night. I also still enjoy on very rare occasions lighting up a good stogie and kicking back with it and a cold beer. So I'm by no means an anti smoker. I am however anti stupid. And shit like tossing your lit cigarettes out the car window, into a tinderbox dry grassy area in the middle of AN EXTREME FUCKING DROUGHT puts you on my ENTIRELY TOO STUPID TO BE ALLOWED TO LIVE list. That is all.