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so basically ive been doing nothing all week since everyone else is in school except for west essex and it just sucks. well ive had tennis and shit but that sucks my balls so no but i do have to say that we do look hott with our new tennis outfits this week. unlike last year when we had the leftover football shirts-not cool. anyway so the other day i went to short hills but for some reason i went into one store and didnt find a single thing and then i was venturing over to nordstroms when this big thing of depression came over me like i dont no what it was, i was all down and unhappy and i really wanted to break down and cry but of course i wasnt going to with my mom there in the middle of the mall so i just said that i wanted to leave and i did and ugh that was not a good day-i really dont no why i was upset, actually i do but thats just another fucked up story in itself-well lets face it, it has to do with boys (what else is new) but whatever. so then the other night i went to annies house and i really needed that, to get out out of my house and just idunno hang around with someone especially someone like annie whom i love-oh boy did we have fun heh :). so then last night i went to willowbrook and tried my luck at the mall again and i was successful i got two pairs of pants and 3 shirts and a ring from ae and then i got a new eyebrow ring heh and then i got a shirt and skirt from bloomys. anyway so tonight i went to the movies with steph matt and taylor and boy did i really need to see matt n steph like i havent seen them in for like ever and i missed them like crazy, good times. then matt came over and we watched some of american wedding-good stuff. haha YOU ARE DESTINED TO EAT THAT TESTICLE....wow crazy. then i drove matt home and he got a taste of my excellent driving in my rice. and now im just sitting here all depressed and shit and i dont like it. or maybe its more upset, idunno is there a difference. i think upset is more like it and actually id have to say im more confused then anything. like stuff that didnt happen-that shouldve, stuff that happened that sucked my balls and was just bad and wondering about the what ifs. like if i did something, would it have effected what really did happen or prevented it more or less. idunno boys suck, not like no one knows what im talking about, whatever but i guess its just affecting me some what more then i expected, but i guess i cant ask for more then whats going on now cuz its good but shitty all at the same time but i cant really do anything now, can i. cuz no one else really cares at this point anymore except for me. ill stop though cuz i could go on forever about this and i dont really think the world needs to hear it or wants to. anyway tonight is what i really needed-to be with the people i love :). they make me happy.