RACK UP THE BALLS !! Chapter 8
SUMMARY: After an evening playing pool Sam and Dean are kidnapped by a gang of thugs. Taken to a nearby park where they are raped and abused. Will the close bond they have as brothers survive or will it change their relationship forever?
MORE WARNINGS THAN A PACK OF CIGARETTES ....PLUS SIDE THOUGH.. WILL NOT GIVE YOU CANCER!!!!!
Nc-17, NON-CON RAPE, Torture, Violence, Bad Language, Knifeplay, Dean/omc, Sam/omc, Wincest
Rack Up The Balls Chapter 8
For the eighth time in only ten days slumbering Sam was instantly dragged back into reality by the distressed sounds of Dean’s nightmares. Quickly pulling himself together, sliding his long giraffe legs from beneath the covers, Sam glided to Dean’s bedside to wait. He knew the pattern only too well. First, the shuffling struggle under the blankets as if trying to escape, then, the labored breathing followed at last by the panicked cries and groans. In another few seconds, the mumbling, spasmodically jerking older hunter would bolt upright into a seated position with terror-filled green eyes, gasping for air and solace. So it had happened each time, over and over again during the past week and a half. Until then it had been a long silent two months since that life altering night in the park.
Sam had watched in unspoken anguish as Dean, in his typical Dean Winchester mode of operation, had decided that the best way to deal with his rape was to simply wall it up inside his head and pretend it never happened, hoping the pain and tormenting memories would somehow evaporate. Once his physical injuries had mended to some degree Dean had simply shut down. Acting as if that brutal pool playing night was just a bad dream, he shut Sam out completely at the mere mention of the visit to the park. Sam so regretted his attitude regarding the abuse. Knowing that a thorough discussion might ease both their nightmares, Sam could only pray that Dean would eventually relax his stance on this don’t ask/don’t tell belief of his.
Well, it seemed that bad dreams have a way of returning and this one of Dean’s had returned in spades, bringing along an evil bigger brother. A nightmare from Hell, and that nightmare, was slowly killing Dean.
His lack of sleep had lead to inattentive behavior on a ‘salt and burn’ two days ago, and had turned something that should have been simple into a horrible series of physical attacks by the spirit that had nearly killed Dean. If Sam hadn’t gotten to the bones the moment he had the creature would have launched Dean from a third floor window onto the concrete below.
Bad enough that he walked around with deep dark circles beneath his tired bottle green eyes or even that he awoke in a breathless terror, but the nightmares had lately introduced another little prop to the scenario. It made Dean’s earlier dreams pale by comparison. Each recent nightmare had left Dean not only panicked and hyperventilating but with a severely painful erection that would take more than an hour to recede. It clawed at Sam’s heart to see his stoic big brother’s ever-increasing embarrassment over this ’growing problem’.
Tonight though, Sam was convinced it would be different, that he could change the course of things. Tonight, he and Dean would come to terms with not only this devastating demon that stalked his brother so mercilessly but also a lesser demon as well. This other demon had driven Sam mad for years, had made him nearly lose his family. Tonight though he would talk and Dean would listen. Hoping for an even stronger bonding, but deep down Sam feared that Dean might well stomp off into the night, never to return, after Sam said his piece.
Now as Dean screamed his way into wakefulness, Sam slid his tall body into the space between his brother and the headboard. Letting Dean’s broad back lay against his own bare chest Sam wrapped his arms protectively around the older hunter, holding him close like a frightened child. Using the pads of his fingers to rub soothing circles on Dean’s naked chest, all the while murmuring quiet words of comfort, “Shh…Shhh, Dean. It’s okay. It’s all right. Shhh…” Another shaking sob escaped Dean’s lips. “Shh…shh. It’s okay. It’s just you and me…”
Dean’s terror began to subside, finally he was sucking in long gasps of air, trying to calm down. Sam was nuzzling his face softly against Dean’s hair and neck, an almost imperceptible motion as his long fingers kept tracing those monotonous comforting circles, “How many times, Dean? How many hundreds of times did your strong arms and soft words comfort me when I had bad dreams? How many thousands of circles did your gentle hands trace on my skin to ease me back from night terrors? How many times did you take away the pain?” Sam’s soft voice paused, letting the weight of his quiet words seep slowly into Dean’s confused mind.
Dean’s body relaxed more into his arms, as Sam’s voice continued soft and coaxing, “That’s it, big brother. Let me lift this dark cloud for you. Let me find a way out. Shh… Shh… Relax. Let me help you. Please… You must know I’ve always loved you more than anyone or anything in my life. Just let me help you. I want to take away your pain, Dean. Please?”
The exhausted, sleepless Dean held so still inside the circle of Sam’s protective arms that his little brother wondered if sleep had somehow reclaimed him.
Sam bravely placed a light kiss on the older man’s tense muscular shoulder. Nothing happened! No blow up! “Dean, it’s okay really. It’s going to be better. I’ll help you. We will always have each other… always.”
Instantly Dean became animated, “No! Sam… You don’t understand. You can’t…” Dean’s voice almost a shaky whisper, full of angst.
“Tell me, Dean. Talk to me! Make me understand. You’re my brother. I love you. I want to help… Be here for you… always.”
Dean twisted his head back to glimpse Sam’s gentle, worried face for just a reassuring moment. It stunned Sam to see the mask of childlike anxiety that covered Dean’s usually handsome face.
Averting his eyes once more Dean whispered fearfully, “No, Sam! You wouldn’t be here! You couldn’t… If you knew the real truth about me you’d walk right out that door and never come back! Trust me.”
Sam felt a single hot tear splash onto his arm and roll a tickling course down to his elbow. Dean moved to tears! How bad can this dark secret be? Sam felt a knot twisting tightly inside his chest.
The communication door was open now, but Sam wasn’t so sure he had the strength and courage to cross its foreboding threshold. Sucking in a shallow breath and closing his eyes for a few seconds he prayed against Dean’s rejection. What would he do if he bared his soul to his beautiful brother and Dean angrily tossed HIM aside and left? Where would I go? How could I survive without Dean being here to complete me?
“Dean… Please…? You have to talk to me. I would NEVER leave you. Ever! I know I can help you, just give me the chance. I’ll stay right here. I promise!” As Sam’s graceful fingers moved gently across his brother’s muscular stomach, Dean swallowed so hard it rippled even through his solar plexus. Another scalding tear splattered onto Sam’s forearm.
Dean’s strong hands suddenly knotted around Sam’s wrists forcing them to still. His voice quavered, “Sam, I…” His words halted as he tried to find the right things to say. Words that would not drive Sam away…forever... He could say this only if he could not see the pain in Sam’s eyes.
“Sam… I’m… I’m not who you think I am. I’m not… I’m not the man you think I am!” His voice now a hoarse whisper, “I’m not the man… I thought I was either!” A tremor of anguish coursed through his body.
In a highly agitated state, Dean flung Sam’s arms wide open and attempted to push off from the bed.
Not a word was spoken as Sam quickly intercepted his brother. Wrapping his long arms tightly around Dean’s body, pinning his arms to his sides, he jerked Dean back into his lap.
“No! You can’t just say something like that and just shut down this way! Can’t shut me out like that, Dean! I won’t let you! Not this time…! Maybe there are secrets I have too, that could drive you away… We HAVE to talk! I will listen to you and then you will listen to all that I want to say. Nobody is leaving anybody!”
Struggle as he might, in his worn out condition Dean could not pull free of Sam’s determined almost painful grip. At last, in utter exasperation, Dean sighed, “Fine!” When Sam made no attempt to release his control, Dean muttered, “Will you let me breathe at least?”
Sam softly voiced a simple request, “Just tell me what you meant.” He released his crushing grip around his brother’s chest to some degree.
After a long silence, Dean began, “I’m not sure how to explain it, Sam. I haven’t been able to figure it out myself exactly.” Closing his eyes as if wanting to hide from his own words, Dean massaged his jaw nervously, “Sam, it’s just this…”
Dean sighed dejectedly and thrusting his hips slightly forward, gestured with his hand toward the massive erection he still sported. “Sam, it never stops! What is wrong with me? The first dreams after ’it’ happened… I was terrified by what had happened to us. Then the dreams made me remember having a damned hard-on almost the entire time Dick was doing those things to me. A fucking hard-on, Sam! Like I enjoyed what he was doing! And now, Sam… Now… Shit! I have a nightmare and wake up like this for God’s sake!”
Sam bit down on the inside of his cheek to keep from crying. Dean! My big, strong brother! Terrified? How can he think that meant he enjoyed being raped and horribly brutalized? Through the brutal actions of some filthy animal he was reduced to doubting everything about himself. Dean had always been the one man in Sam’s entire life with a clear sense of purpose and total knowledge of who and what he truly was. Tears welled up along the fringe of Sam’s dark lashes.
“Sam, I’m a damned pervert pretending to be something… somebody… I’m not! I’m no hunter anymore. I can’t be. I don’t even deserve to be called a man!” This self-deprecating mode had to be stifled before Dean self-destructed but Sam wasn’t sure he had the tools or the words to stop it.
He HAD to share his own dark side somehow without incurring the wrath Dean was now directing inwardly. Sam watched helplessly as Dean pushed himself to his feet head hung nearly to his chest, and stumbled across the floor towards the motel dresser. With a pained roar he began punching his fists against the solid wood, finally allowing his salty tears to freely spill, as the blood from his shattered skin trickled down the oak panels.
Sam followed him silently, the metallic taste of fear filling his mouth, making it hard to swallow. He was so afraid to speak out, to tell Dean about the hidden thoughts in his life. Would Dean turn those bloodied fists on him? Would he feel such disgust and betrayal over Sam’s revelation that he would storm away into the outside world never wanting to lay eyes on his little brother ever again?
“Dean! Dean, can we please sit down for a minute? I really need to tell you something important. Something I should have told you a long time ago but just couldn’t find the right words… I’m still not sure that I’ve found them even tonight, but you need to hear this. Please? Please, Dean…?” He tugged gently on Dean’s arm. “Just sit with me for a moment. Let me get this off my chest…”
Dean allowed Sam to drape an arm around his shoulders and guide him back to the bed, gently pulling him down to sit beside him. Sam closed his sad eyes, thinking, composing himself and his words.
With a resigned sigh he caught Dean’s head in his slender hands compelling him to make eye contact. “Dean, I think you’ve always known how proud I’ve been to have you for as my big brother. Nobody has a better, stronger, more protective, more nurturing or more loving brother than mine. Ever since I’ve been able to remember you were the only person who was there for me for everything, no matter what.” Sam paused hoping to see some impact reflected on Dean’s tear-streaked face. If anything, he looked even sadder and more distraught.
Sam tried to take hold of one of Dean’s bleeding clenched fists but Dean tugged it away angrily. “Dean, please… I need to know that you really are listening to me.”
Dean murmured, “I hear you, Sammy.”
“I need you to know that I will always love you no matter what happens here tonight. I also need for you to really understand that you are the only person I have ever truly loved… always. I loved Dad but not the same as you. I loved Jess but even that wasn’t the same. Not even close...”
Dean shifted uncomfortably as Sam leaned in closer, “Let me tell you something I told Bobby when I was in kindergarten I guess… I told him that when I grew up I was going to marry you. I remember Bobby laughed but I didn’t understand why at the time. All I know now is that I still love you more than I’ve ever loved anyone. Do you understand that, Dean? Do you know what it did to me in that park, being forced to watch that filthy animal tear at you like you were a piece of meat? How horrible it felt not to be able to save you?” Sam’s voice trembled as he spoke.
Dean’s body became racked with the most heart-wrenching sobs as he tried to push away from Sam. “Oh, God, Sammy! Oh, God!” Tears again streamed down Dean’s face, so contorted with anguish that Sam found himself tearing up. “Sammy, I’m just a ‘filthy animal’ myself! You don’t understand…” Staggering unsteadily to his feet his voice a raspy whisper, Dean confessed, “Sam, I’m sick! That night… That night I saw what that pig was forcing you to do and I was so… so pissed. I kept thinking ‘No! You can’t touch him! Sam’s mine!’” Dean tossed a panicky confused look over his shoulder, just a quick visual connection before muttering in a mixture of disbelief and disgust, “Sammy… I… I felt jealous… Oh, my God! Jealous! How disgusting!”
Sam’s eyes flew wide open in surprise as he quickly rose to try to stop Dean right there.
Shuddering gasps shook the older hunter’s solid muscular frame. “Awww, God! Sammy! Where the hell did that come from? You’re my little brother, for God’s sake! What the fuck is wrong with me?! How can I feel like that?”
“Dean, please! You have to listen to me!” Sam desperately wanted to be heard. Maybe… just maybe he and his big brother were on the same page for once.
“No! Sam! You listen to me! Now I have these sickening thoughts when I’m around you. I have disgusting, horrible dreams. Oh, dammit, Sammy… I’m sorry! So sorry…” he fell to his knees, face buried in his hands.
Dropping down on his knees beside his brother, Sam cupped a hand beneath his distraught brother’s chin forcing Dean to look him full in the face.
Now it was the younger man’s turn to stammer and feel ill at ease as the words poured out. “Dean, you have to listen to me. I’ve wanted… I’ve …erm… I wanted to be with you since we were teens… I uh… mean… really with you, Dean, but you were always so macho, so crazy about girls… and them about you. I couldn’t tell you. You wouldn’t understand. Dad wouldn’t understand. I was some kind of pervert, so I had to leave. I went to Stanford and forced myself to be ‘normal’. Jess was my biggest attempt at normalcy. I thought that if I could just stay away from you, try to forget how I felt… everything would be okay.”
Dean had finally stopped his self-deprecating sidebars and was gazing at his brother in total confusion. “Sam, I don’t understand…”
“Yeah, well, me neither, Dean. All I know is you came back into my life and those feelings started again. I didn’t know what I was going to tell Jess. We’d been talking about marriage and a normal life. I had pretty much convinced myself that I could be happy like that, and then the bubble burst when you showed up and we went looking for Dad! It was just you and me and ‘those feelings’ again. Then Jess died and I felt so damned guilty. I knew before she died that I couldn’t go through with it, Dean. God! I was gonna dump her, I knew it!”
“But that night in the park… If I could have gotten loose I would have killed every one of those fucking bastards. They touched you! Hurt you! Had you! …Dean, you’re mine! You’ve always been mine!”
Reaching out, Sam gripped Dean’s shoulders. Carefully he leaned down and planted an almost chaste kiss on his brother’s trembling lips. Only the look of utter bewilderment in Dean’s startled green eyes made him stop.
Dean fought his way to his feet, shoving Sam angrily away. Confusion and anguish clouded his handsome features. “Sam! No! We can’t! I can’t… Oh,God!! Oh, dammit!” He pivoted away from his little brother’s puppy dog eyes.
Sam climbed up to his full height, stepping up against the older hunter’s warm naked back, skin on skin. Lightly he wrapped his arms around his brother’s heaving torso. “Dean… we can and I think we should… Haven’t we always been the only ones always there for each other? Haven’t we always been the only ones who understand one another?” Sam touched his warm moist lips to Dean’s jaw just in front of his ear. “Haven’t you always loved me?” he whispered. His lips barely brushed along Dean’s broad shoulder. With the fingers of his left hand the young hunter tiptoed tiny circles around his brother’s closest nipple, hearing the man’s sharp intake of breath as he used his thumbnail to stroke softly across the stiffening pink bud. The softest moan escaped Dean’s pouty lips, followed by a complete body shiver and Sam felt the tense body shift ever so slightly closer. As more warm tears trickled onto Sam’s forearms he slowly turned his older brother to face him. He kissed Dean full on the lips, tasting the salt of his tears as they traveled to the corners of his mouth. Ever so delicately Sam used the tip of his warm tongue to trace the tears from Dean’s lips to his eyes, lightly kissing each of his older brother’s closed eyelids. A peaceful sigh escaped those warm full lips as Sam used a feathery touch to trail his long, graceful fingers down his brother’s lightly stubbled face, slowly down his pulsing neck artery to his muscular chest.
Applying a faint pressure with his abs against Dean’s, he almost imperceptibly guided Dean back to the bed. As the older man’s calves brushed the edge of the mattress, Sam felt his brother’s body stiffen, “Sam, no! No, we…” Sam smothered Dean’s protest in coaxing kisses.
Sam’s mouth was gentle, soft, persuasive… His kisses as warm and easy as a sunny, spring breeze... They caressed Dean’s dry lips, his cheeks, his jaw… Finally Sam licked ever so lightly over his brother’s full lips and as they parted to release a small gasp, Sam slid his tongue between them. Dean gave no response, but no argument either. Sam tucked an arm around his brother’s back and with very little effort lowered Dean onto the bed without their lips separating.
Sam let his tongue wander a moment or two before releasing Dean’s lips. Burying his face in the crook of Dean’s throat and collarbone, he nipped and nuzzled until he had the older hunter moaning. Lying beside Dean, Sam used first his lips and then his hot, moist tongue to tease his brother’s nipples until they were pencil eraser hard. ”Oh, Sammy! Oh, no…! Ahhh… Nooo… ” Dean moaned, arching his back as Sam’s mouth moved away, teasingly, only to return and disappear again.
Sammy kissed his open mouth gently before sliding his tongue inside torturously slow. Now the older hunter’s tongue tangled softly against Sam’s. Slowly easing his warm, soft hands down his older brother’s quivering ribcage, as Dean groaned aloud, the dark-haired hunter rested them on Dean’s hipbones. He waited for Dean’s tongue to respond strongly to his before gently easing Dean’s black boxers lower until Sam was caressing his curly blond pubic hair. Dean’s strong hands flew to try and move his little brother’s hands away but Sam’s response was to ease his lips and tongue free for a moment to direct his now smoldering gaze at the passion-glazed green eyes.
“Dean, this is going to happen for us tonight. I want you to be okay with this. I’ve done so much reading and even watched a couple of guy porn flicks.” As he talked his right hand toyed with Dean’s nipples, eliciting small groans and shudders from the other hunter. “It won’t be like the park. We would never hurt each other like that. Now… please… can’t you just relax? Let me do this for you, for us… Let’s just try it this once,” he whispered gently, “Please…?”
Seeing Sam’s serious pleading eyes and hearing his almost logical words, Dean sighed aloud and with a small nod laid his head back down, trying to relax. He would let Sam guide him.
Once more Sam kissed him softly, as a lover, any lover might. The older brother responded in kind, trembling as he felt Sam’s long spidery fingers explore his pubic area. As those gentle fingers slipped around the shaft of his still painfully engorged shaft stroking him, Dean struggled to breathe, loosing a shuddering groan. The excitement Sam’s warm hands produced was almost too much to bear. Sam’s sweet moist lips began to travel southward as Dean quivered, gasping for air.
Like a silk scarf barely touching Dean’s hot, aching skin, Sam’s lips ghosted a long trail of kisses from his jawbone to his hipbone. The older man’s traitorous body trembled with sexual excitement and nervous anticipation.
Little brother’s sensuous excursion culminated in an audible moan followed by a gasping, “Oh, my God, Sammy! Ahhh! Sam…!!” as Sam took the throbbing head of Dean’s huge cock between his wet lips. Using only the tip of his tongue he licked at the now oozing eye of his brother’s throbbing swollen member. Dean’s head pivoted insanely on his shoulders moaning in response to Sam’s oral ministrations, as his back arced upward.
Unlike his forced performance in the park, Sam slowly, sensuously took every last bit of Dean into his mouth and throat. Dean groaned and twisted softly at the pleasurable pain of it, Sam’s shaggy hair brushing softly against him, again and again as he moved his lips and mouth up and down the long, hot, sensitive shaft. Having been forced to endure the horrendous pressure of the engorgement for nearly an hour Dean felt like he would die, but with Sam’s sweet, rhythmic sucking and the nimble fingers that plucked so torturously at his ultra-sensitive nipples, Dean moaned as the powerful waves continued to rock his entire body. His muscles twitched and tightened as he built to a screaming, moaning climax. His body arced into it as if an electric current ran through him. Gasping the blond hunter tried to control his body’s insane sexual response, but it came like a roaring avalanche. Never in his life had he come so close to losing consciousness during sex! Blinding white light filled his mind, sucking his breath from him, his thinking ceased, only the physical Dean existed. As he exploded inside Sam’s delicious wet mouth, he fell back onto the bed too weak to do anything more than breathe.
Sam continued to suck gently on Dean’s cock swallowing every salty drop of cum. Dean’s body had collapsed, his passionate moans finally stilled, to a few gasping breaths. Sammy gently released Dean’s now spent dick, lifting his dark tousled head he studied Dean’s handsome face. For the first time in a long while, Dean looked so peaceful, eyes softly closed. Sam smiled happily to himself.
“Sammy?” Dean’s voice a breathy whisper.
‘”Yes?” Sam raised himself up on one elbow.
“This is really wrong, isn’t it?” he queried, shame rising in his voice.
“Did it feel wrong, Dean? Were we both agreeable with it?” Sam gently prompted.
“Naw… it felt fucking fantastic, really… Thank you, Sammy.”
“Don’t we always take care of each other?” Sam grinned at his hero. Creeping upward to the pillow beside Dean, he leaned over to kiss him with a warm invitation. “Rest for a bit and then I’ll teach you how to take care of me… and you at the same time. We have lots of lubricant and plenty of time to learn.” He snuggled warmly against Dean, sighing contentedly, enjoying every point of body contact, wanting to wrap himself around his precious brother like a second skin.
Dean caught Sam’s young face in his hands and drew him into a passionate, greedy kiss. “Teach me, little brother.”
TBC
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