But death tore the pages all away
So yes, i was wrong about amazing.
Amazing went away reeal quick.
Amazing sucked.
I actually don't think amazing was ever the right word for it.
Anyways.. this weekend has been the roughest weekend of my life, it's been a fucking emotional roller coaster.
My uncle was shot in the head and killed friday. 4 guys came in and robbed his pawn shop and told everyone to get on the floor and he has a bum knee, so he couldnt get down quick enough so they shot him. Fucking heartless. I've never lost someone this close to me. ever. i don't really know how to cope. The hardest part has reeally been just seeing my dad and how he's taking it. he was SHAKING when he came home yesterday. just shaking. saddest thing in the world when your dad says "it hurts so bad baby, i cant make it stop hurting" and you can't do a damn thing to help it or him. He wasn't my blood uncle. but he's been my dad's best friend for i dont even know how long and he's been more of an uncle to me than my real uncles ever were. he actually treated me like a daughter, i know he would of done antyhing for me.
I found out when i was on my way to Granada to take the senior favorite pictures. and i i went there. and everyone was really supportive, but the picture lady still made me take the fucking picture. who honestly makes a person take a "best smile" picture with tears running down their face. seriously. fuck you lady, you better photoshop my shit and make me look FLAWLESS. ha. After i left granada i went home to be with my family and it really helped that my sisters and brother happened to be in town when i found out. they comforted the shit out of me. so yeah after sitting around for a while and talking we headed out to Patterson where my sister's friend lives. It was good actually, instead of staying at home by myself crying myself to sleep i went and drank myself to sleep. as bad as it sounds, it really took my mind off of things. it's crazy how family can make you feel like a million bucks when you're about to break.
My friends have been pretty much amazing during this. After i found out and i was at granada waiting for the bell to ring.. daryl and johnny saw how upset i was and so i told them, and they seriously just held me for a good 5 minutes. and when tay came up she just held me for even longer and didnt leave my side the whole time at granada. Same with derrick- derrick just hugged me and squeezed me so tight. i mean, thats just what people need sometime dude. just to be grabbed and held without saying a word. this shit is hard to deal with cuz i know death is such an awkward thing to try and comfort.. i mean what do u say "hey man, he's in a better place" i know it's real difficult... so really a hug and not a word is all that needs to be done
and it was cute.. later after derrick got out of baseball, him and durb came by my house to comfort my family. i could tell durb had tears in his eyes. it meant a lot to me. a lot.
i really appreciate my friends. really.
I still cant believe this shit is real. It still isnt registering. I keep thinking like "oh i'll go to uncle ronnie's house to watch some football and he'll be there with his jack and coke on the couch, choppppin it up."
nope.
Fuckin fuckers dude. I hope you enjoy hell, you 4 pieces of shit.
I love you Uncle Ronnie, I'll pour some Jack for you.
RIP
"Just knowin' no one could take your place"
Amazing went away reeal quick.
Amazing sucked.
I actually don't think amazing was ever the right word for it.
Anyways.. this weekend has been the roughest weekend of my life, it's been a fucking emotional roller coaster.
My uncle was shot in the head and killed friday. 4 guys came in and robbed his pawn shop and told everyone to get on the floor and he has a bum knee, so he couldnt get down quick enough so they shot him. Fucking heartless. I've never lost someone this close to me. ever. i don't really know how to cope. The hardest part has reeally been just seeing my dad and how he's taking it. he was SHAKING when he came home yesterday. just shaking. saddest thing in the world when your dad says "it hurts so bad baby, i cant make it stop hurting" and you can't do a damn thing to help it or him. He wasn't my blood uncle. but he's been my dad's best friend for i dont even know how long and he's been more of an uncle to me than my real uncles ever were. he actually treated me like a daughter, i know he would of done antyhing for me.
I found out when i was on my way to Granada to take the senior favorite pictures. and i i went there. and everyone was really supportive, but the picture lady still made me take the fucking picture. who honestly makes a person take a "best smile" picture with tears running down their face. seriously. fuck you lady, you better photoshop my shit and make me look FLAWLESS. ha. After i left granada i went home to be with my family and it really helped that my sisters and brother happened to be in town when i found out. they comforted the shit out of me. so yeah after sitting around for a while and talking we headed out to Patterson where my sister's friend lives. It was good actually, instead of staying at home by myself crying myself to sleep i went and drank myself to sleep. as bad as it sounds, it really took my mind off of things. it's crazy how family can make you feel like a million bucks when you're about to break.
My friends have been pretty much amazing during this. After i found out and i was at granada waiting for the bell to ring.. daryl and johnny saw how upset i was and so i told them, and they seriously just held me for a good 5 minutes. and when tay came up she just held me for even longer and didnt leave my side the whole time at granada. Same with derrick- derrick just hugged me and squeezed me so tight. i mean, thats just what people need sometime dude. just to be grabbed and held without saying a word. this shit is hard to deal with cuz i know death is such an awkward thing to try and comfort.. i mean what do u say "hey man, he's in a better place" i know it's real difficult... so really a hug and not a word is all that needs to be done
and it was cute.. later after derrick got out of baseball, him and durb came by my house to comfort my family. i could tell durb had tears in his eyes. it meant a lot to me. a lot.
i really appreciate my friends. really.
I still cant believe this shit is real. It still isnt registering. I keep thinking like "oh i'll go to uncle ronnie's house to watch some football and he'll be there with his jack and coke on the couch, choppppin it up."
nope.
Fuckin fuckers dude. I hope you enjoy hell, you 4 pieces of shit.
I love you Uncle Ronnie, I'll pour some Jack for you.
RIP
"Just knowin' no one could take your place"