(no subject)
so confused as of late.
not sure how im feelings, how im functioning, how im going to be.
i feel lost, or more so like ive lost something. or maybe like im missing something ive never even had.
i suppose for the most part iam happy, nothing paticular getting me down. it could be the weather, i feel so somber without the sun warming my skin.
i do feel alone very much so right now, i feel there is no one who knows me, wants to know me, could stay long enough to maybe hear me, i think there is very few people who i will ever let get close enough, i feel like ill always be pushing people away, no one is holding my heart, not one person do i feel a certain fondness for, even if it was me feeling for them and them not feeling the same, i would feel less lonely...i dont even want someone inside enough to want them to want me. i think anyone at this point who might want to get involved with me would be insane, and i should obviously keep away from the crazies.
there IS one person id like to be around...Edward Cullen. yea thats right...ive been sold. or bitten you might say..hahaha oh my god look at me making horribly unfunny vampire jokes... im so pissed. in 3 days Ive finished the first 2 books. i watched the trailor for 15 fucking min today. when i see the commercial i gasp for fucking air. i cant buy the last two until friday and it really gets me down but i also feel so excited for the weekend like i have a date or something HA! i feel....12. my god. oh yea its my desktop background now too...man, fuck me.
i should have put the last post secret book i need on my xmas list. wtf.
not sure how im feelings, how im functioning, how im going to be.
i feel lost, or more so like ive lost something. or maybe like im missing something ive never even had.
i suppose for the most part iam happy, nothing paticular getting me down. it could be the weather, i feel so somber without the sun warming my skin.
i do feel alone very much so right now, i feel there is no one who knows me, wants to know me, could stay long enough to maybe hear me, i think there is very few people who i will ever let get close enough, i feel like ill always be pushing people away, no one is holding my heart, not one person do i feel a certain fondness for, even if it was me feeling for them and them not feeling the same, i would feel less lonely...i dont even want someone inside enough to want them to want me. i think anyone at this point who might want to get involved with me would be insane, and i should obviously keep away from the crazies.
there IS one person id like to be around...Edward Cullen. yea thats right...ive been sold. or bitten you might say..hahaha oh my god look at me making horribly unfunny vampire jokes... im so pissed. in 3 days Ive finished the first 2 books. i watched the trailor for 15 fucking min today. when i see the commercial i gasp for fucking air. i cant buy the last two until friday and it really gets me down but i also feel so excited for the weekend like i have a date or something HA! i feel....12. my god. oh yea its my desktop background now too...man, fuck me.
i should have put the last post secret book i need on my xmas list. wtf.