(no subject)
when i read so far back i get ashamed.
ashamed of just how sad i was how pathetic and worthless i felt, how foolish i wrote and the feelings i let myself feel so much of, i had no control and it was a problem....obviously.
but they are learning life experiences right? that was all suppose to happen, so it doesn't happen again or just differently.
i DO like reading them if only for knowing i no longer feel so empty, and alone-i feel full, i feel almost complete, i feel a lot of things i didn't want to feel for a long time, i just feeel.
i never thought i would ever make it with anyone else, that was foolish, never thought id feel anyone was ever good enough, that stopped rather quickly,
i wont lie in saying im scared to ever get involved again though, what if it all happens again, what if i die all over again, i suppose i just bounce back right? something like that i am sure.
i want breakfast food all the time, its becoming a problem, i think about it at work all day, eggs and pancakes and french toast, syrup and fruit, i think a case of the golden griddles has came...oh no.
ashamed of just how sad i was how pathetic and worthless i felt, how foolish i wrote and the feelings i let myself feel so much of, i had no control and it was a problem....obviously.
but they are learning life experiences right? that was all suppose to happen, so it doesn't happen again or just differently.
i DO like reading them if only for knowing i no longer feel so empty, and alone-i feel full, i feel almost complete, i feel a lot of things i didn't want to feel for a long time, i just feeel.
i never thought i would ever make it with anyone else, that was foolish, never thought id feel anyone was ever good enough, that stopped rather quickly,
i wont lie in saying im scared to ever get involved again though, what if it all happens again, what if i die all over again, i suppose i just bounce back right? something like that i am sure.
i want breakfast food all the time, its becoming a problem, i think about it at work all day, eggs and pancakes and french toast, syrup and fruit, i think a case of the golden griddles has came...oh no.