Unusual Looks I Get
Sometimes I look around at wonder why I am this way. I don't see myself as that different from other people, but I keep getting told that I am VERY different (LOL and not necc. in a good way). Things that others do as an end, I seem to do as just part of something else. People join the military and it is their entire carreer. I do it as a side job and view it as my participation in society. Others spend 7-10 years working to become an ordained minister (old-school style, not instant-internet variety), but I do it in three years as part of becoming a chaplain. Some folks get a degree in a field and that is the terminus of their education. I've always known that eventually I was going to get a masters degreee and will eventually get a doctorate... not because I have to or want to, but because it simply is part of what I am. It isn't even the titles or letters before/behind my name. (People call me "Dr", "Sir", or "CH" because they already assume I am.) The official titles or rank are nothing more than a recognition of what I was long before some governerning body affixed a seal, gave its blessing, did the paperwork, etc.
Oddly, I don't see these past achievements as holding much value. They are in the past and something I've already done. Occassionally, I'll have to dig them back up (say in court to verify expertiese or to move/gain access to something else), but in reality, what is done is done and nothing will change that. It's what I am doing or will do next that motivates/interests me. Again, it's not really a drive or a feeling of need, just a natural progression of what's next. I also do not see this as stopping. Perhaps it will be in an area that dosen't seem as unique (say farming or model trains),but that is irrelevant.
I know other folks like this and they understand. I've heard folks call them "driven", but I'm not sure I agree. It's so much less than that. There's not a feeling of impending doom or anxiety if it doesn't happen like with truly driven individuals... it's more of a patient realization that what is going to happen, will happen so long as one doesn't stand in its way. Yes, it requires work and effort, but everything that is worth having does. Doing that work is part of "not standing in the way" in most respects. I'm sure one day it will all stop with something half finished, but for the time being, I'll just keep doing and let folks look at me odd...
Oddly, I don't see these past achievements as holding much value. They are in the past and something I've already done. Occassionally, I'll have to dig them back up (say in court to verify expertiese or to move/gain access to something else), but in reality, what is done is done and nothing will change that. It's what I am doing or will do next that motivates/interests me. Again, it's not really a drive or a feeling of need, just a natural progression of what's next. I also do not see this as stopping. Perhaps it will be in an area that dosen't seem as unique (say farming or model trains),but that is irrelevant.
I know other folks like this and they understand. I've heard folks call them "driven", but I'm not sure I agree. It's so much less than that. There's not a feeling of impending doom or anxiety if it doesn't happen like with truly driven individuals... it's more of a patient realization that what is going to happen, will happen so long as one doesn't stand in its way. Yes, it requires work and effort, but everything that is worth having does. Doing that work is part of "not standing in the way" in most respects. I'm sure one day it will all stop with something half finished, but for the time being, I'll just keep doing and let folks look at me odd...