(no subject)
So today is the day my father's care is transfered to a rehabilitation facility in Braintree. Which, after his accident, I am happy he is going somewhere else. Everything is very strange these days, almost as though my life has stopped. Each day I do three things, go to work, go visit my father, and hang out with my friends, the only sanity, the only thing keeping me happy these days. The family situation is tough, money.. medical bills, work, lawyers all things that come up daily, all questions that are on everyone's mind. How will we do this? The expenses for this type of care is more than I can even imagine. I was reading a book on head injuries and it said that MINOR head injuries can end up costing more than $100,000... and with this injury being far more complicated, I just don't see how my mother can do it. Sending two kids to college, while dealing with Joey (who has been a lot better lately, given the situation and everything) and working three jobs.
I don't really choose to think about these things, I make a time and place, like here and try to forget about it when I'm elsewhere. It has really been hell for me. Working and thinking about my dad in the hospital just kills me. He's progressing yes, but he spaces out all of the time.. very different from my father before the accident. He used to be so responsive and attentive.. I'm hoping time will heal this and he will fully recover. I have been doing exercises with him, trying to strengthen his legs and arms. One thing I will say about him is that he is very determined to get out and get better, he hates it in the hospital and I hate him being depressed, but I don't blame him because I would hate being in that hospital for weeks.. almost months already.
I guess other than that my life is boring and nothing is happening. I haven't heard from SL, you know what though.. I really don't even care anymore. I never did in the first place, I was just shocked because I thought it was a different situation. I guess I'll never know.
One person I can and will admit to missing, AJ.. He came into work the other day and there was sort of an awkward moment for sure. He came in during a rush and I didn't even notice him in line, although I'm sure he saw me packing all of the food. I wonder why he didn't just leave at that moment. He said hi to me but I turned quickly to hide the shock and pain that seeing his face left me with. And with that, he was gone. I sent him a message telling him I've missed him and he apologized to me, saying he never meant for me to get mixed up in the bullshit. I appreciated that and I still think about him and all the days I spent with him. To make myself feel better I admitted to myself that when I saw him I didn't think he looked that good, which sort of makes me feel better. I was talking to Jona at work and he told me him and his girlfriend always fight and they are never happy together. Hopefully some part of him misses the fun we had, and all the good times, because Lord knows I do...
Something about the night that makes me want to write...
And I cannot help but hold on to a handful of times when what was spoken was a revolution in itself, and what we were doing was the only thing that mattered.
I don't really choose to think about these things, I make a time and place, like here and try to forget about it when I'm elsewhere. It has really been hell for me. Working and thinking about my dad in the hospital just kills me. He's progressing yes, but he spaces out all of the time.. very different from my father before the accident. He used to be so responsive and attentive.. I'm hoping time will heal this and he will fully recover. I have been doing exercises with him, trying to strengthen his legs and arms. One thing I will say about him is that he is very determined to get out and get better, he hates it in the hospital and I hate him being depressed, but I don't blame him because I would hate being in that hospital for weeks.. almost months already.
I guess other than that my life is boring and nothing is happening. I haven't heard from SL, you know what though.. I really don't even care anymore. I never did in the first place, I was just shocked because I thought it was a different situation. I guess I'll never know.
One person I can and will admit to missing, AJ.. He came into work the other day and there was sort of an awkward moment for sure. He came in during a rush and I didn't even notice him in line, although I'm sure he saw me packing all of the food. I wonder why he didn't just leave at that moment. He said hi to me but I turned quickly to hide the shock and pain that seeing his face left me with. And with that, he was gone. I sent him a message telling him I've missed him and he apologized to me, saying he never meant for me to get mixed up in the bullshit. I appreciated that and I still think about him and all the days I spent with him. To make myself feel better I admitted to myself that when I saw him I didn't think he looked that good, which sort of makes me feel better. I was talking to Jona at work and he told me him and his girlfriend always fight and they are never happy together. Hopefully some part of him misses the fun we had, and all the good times, because Lord knows I do...
Something about the night that makes me want to write...
And I cannot help but hold on to a handful of times when what was spoken was a revolution in itself, and what we were doing was the only thing that mattered.