my pockets, my pockets are sinking
Really fucking upset about Mike again.
Hate that he has so many positive comments on his MySpace and that generally speaking, he seems to care about everyone else ever more than me. Also think it's fucked that Lauren still comments on his page, when she cheated on Vadim with him and now she and Vadim are moving to California together. And I'm pretty sure Vadim has no idea A) how close the two of them were and the extent to which she emotionally betrayed him or B) that she and Mike have matching tattoos. Does this matter at all? No. But I'm still so sad.
He's this constant reminder of emotional and physical rejection and I don't even know why this hurts so badly.
Fuck.
I mean, really. All it takes is thinking of him, briefly, and my night is wrecked. And I can't even call him on it, because A) he's not really doing anything to hurt me and B) I don't have time to hang out anyway so whatever and C) I'll look crazy, like I always do. Is this love? What is this? What is this pain? Oh, wait, I know. Me being pissed off about not getting something that I want. And have wanted. My entire college career.
I wish he never kissed me.
No. Not true.
I wish he would do it again.
Hate that he has so many positive comments on his MySpace and that generally speaking, he seems to care about everyone else ever more than me. Also think it's fucked that Lauren still comments on his page, when she cheated on Vadim with him and now she and Vadim are moving to California together. And I'm pretty sure Vadim has no idea A) how close the two of them were and the extent to which she emotionally betrayed him or B) that she and Mike have matching tattoos. Does this matter at all? No. But I'm still so sad.
He's this constant reminder of emotional and physical rejection and I don't even know why this hurts so badly.
Fuck.
I mean, really. All it takes is thinking of him, briefly, and my night is wrecked. And I can't even call him on it, because A) he's not really doing anything to hurt me and B) I don't have time to hang out anyway so whatever and C) I'll look crazy, like I always do. Is this love? What is this? What is this pain? Oh, wait, I know. Me being pissed off about not getting something that I want. And have wanted. My entire college career.
I wish he never kissed me.
No. Not true.
I wish he would do it again.