It's crack for your brain! Wait, crack is for your brain.
Name a character from any of my fandoms, and I'll tell you every pairing I've ever written them in, read them in, or even just thought about.
Ganked from bellzooks.
I love crack pairings a lot, so don't be surprised with some of the things I come up with. (Someone ask me about Madara, please. Or don't, if you prefer your sanity intact.) done and
WAT AN IMAGINATION U HAVE THERE
lol, I asked for it anyway, ignore me.
Ever Written: never have actually wrote Madara in a fic where he was a central character or paired off. I suppose there was weird mindrapey subtext in Insomniac, but that was more the nature of his character than anything. Madara is the Mind Rapist of Naruto, and he needs to be, like, listed as a mental sexual predator on some database. MEGAN'S LAW, PEOPLE.
Ever Read: ........*strains mind* I don't think I've read a Madara-centric fic outside of Akatsuki crack. I don't think I've seen a Madara-centric fic outside of Akatsuki crack that wasn't awful slash porn. WHY IS THIS, HE IS SUCH AN AMAZING ANTAGONIST LAKJSLJAKL~ No love for Madara? D:
Ever Thought About: Here's where it gets crazy.
Madara/Anko/Sakura: WAIT FOR THE STORY BEFORE YOU RUN OFF SCREAMING. If you'll recall, this came up as a result in one of those "list the characters as numbers and pair together this list of numbers at random" memes. At first I was like, "haha lol this is a throwout result," but then I started thinking about it in conjunction with who I ship Anko and Sakura with. Itachi/Anko is a crazy hotbed of dysfunctionality as it is, and my preferred flavor of Sasuke/Sakura is angry unhealthy angsty melancholy. And then I was like, "What if Akatsuki won? And most of the village (including Naruto) died, and Madara was busy grooming Sasuke to become his successor and Sakura was a POW and kind of being given this choice between marrying Sasuke (who won't even look other people in the eyes anymore) or...something bad, and Anko was busy being some sort of on-the-run fugitive and wanted to avenge Itachi by killing Sasuke, unaware of the role Madara played in his death, and she was already sort of tortured by Madara for kicks at some point before she escaped from Akatsuki prison camp, and she tries to bust Sakura out and some crazy shit happens I DON'T REMEMBER WHERE I WAS GOING WITH THIS ANYMORE, BUT IT'S CRACK AND I LIKE IT.
Madara/Kushina: AHAHAHAHAHAHA MIND-TRIP AND A HALF. "Hi, Naruto, guess what? I'm your mom, and you're not really an orphan!" "Hi Sasuke, I'm your great-great-great-grandpa, and Kushina-chan and I are getting married!"
Sasuke and Naruto: D8 DO NOT WANT *need mind soap forever*
(Would that make Naruto Sasuke's......step-great-great-great-uncle? WORTH EXPLORING.)
Madara/Kurenai: He'd just genjutsu himself into Asuma and completely shit around with her brain. Actually, this basically applies to any possible pairing with Madara in it.
Madara/Tsunade: Thought about it and laughed. He'd never do it; he's be all, "EWW YOU HAVE SENJU COOTIES~~ DDDDDD:" I can't wait for them to be in the same room for the Kage meeting. UNLESS SHE DIES FIRST GOD I HOPE NOT DDDDDDDDD:
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