A longer and more spoilery look at the Naruto spoilers. It may turn out to be wrong in 2 weeks.
So, okay, apparently according to the spoilers in this post (visible only to members of chuunin), Danzou's right eye/arm are somehow related to an Uchiha.
We had been kind of thinking along those lines.
But what we find out is that the Uchiha that somehow has to do with them in a vague and undefined way?
Uchiha Shisui.
...
UCHIHA SHISUI
THE ULTIMATE BRICK JOKE OF THE ENTIRE UCHIHA FAMILY, EVER.
EXCEPT INSTEAD OF BEING HIT IN THE HEAD WITH A BRICK 237 CHAPTERS LATER, YOUR ENTIRE BRAIN IS PULLED OUT THROUGH A FACIAL ORIFICE OF YOUR CHOICE.
UCHIHA FRACKING SHISUI.
I just, wow I can't even...what do you do?
The funniest part is that we (FINALLY!) get info on his special abilities via one of the Mizukage's guards (not the cute kid, the other guy, who apparently fought a Hyuuga and stole his Byakugan WHAT A MAGICAL SURPRISE, I AM WONDERING IF KISHI HAS A COMPLEX ABOUT THIS)--you wanna know Shisui's specialty?
Via Sharingan, influencing people's minds without them realizing.
In short--
UCHIHA SHISUI IS A FRACKING BRAIN RAPIST.
HE EFFS WITH YOUR MIND.
IN SERIES.
AND, APPARENTLY, OUT OF IT.
THIS IS ALMOST KIND OF POSTMODERN, except I may be rampantly abusing the word "postmodern" after learning it via reviews of House of Leaves, BUT STILL.
You know, I have to come clean and admit I enjoy these ass pulls that Kishimoto does. Because when he does them well, he can fold them into the narrative so seamlessly you question whether he planned it all along--OH WAIT A SUDDEN THOUGHT
ITACHI.
HOW IS THIS GOING TO RELATE BACK TO ITACHI?
WHAT IF SHISUI WERE THE REAL GUY BEHIND THE GUY BEHIND THE GUY BEHIND THE UCHIHA MASSACRE?
IT'S ABOUT THE YEAR ANNIVERSARY OF THAT BIG EVENT, WHY NOT SCREW WITH US SOME MORE?
TBH, I KIND OF HOPE HE IS, BECAUSE I WOULD LAUGH
UNTIL
I DIED.
Speculation is now closed until Friday's confirmations/negations/indifference to this insanity.