The Brothers of Black and Grey at the Helm of the Family
The holidays are an eventful time in my household. My family is as tight knit as one can get as far as family goes and I must give thanks. On fringe of the family, lies us the Black and Grey sheep of the bunch. Me and my brother have never really conformed to the norms of family will, but we are quick to defend them at the drop of a hat. I envy my brother for his tenacity to live up to his standards. For myself, I'm still playing catch up.
It was brought up by my grandparents in a short conversation that the eyes of both family have fallen on my brother and I. Our mother being the eldest daughter of a predominantly female household herald by my grandfather. While our farther is first son in predominately male household with my grandmother holding power over all. Naturally the two of us are the head of both families in the next generation, a position in which has been placed on hold. For my brother this is so to say a permanent delay so to speak, the family will be sadly mistaken if they think otherwise. They still ask him when he is going to chose a girlfriend as if denial of his true existence would turn him straight. As for me...I should be with an obedient Vietnamese Catholic girl who is beautiful of course, which was strongly emphasized by both heads of the families. Placing a cherry on top, something rather grim for Christmas, I was told their wish was for me to have children so they can die and be at peace finally because life has become a painful ordeal.
I was rather appalled by this subtle guilt trip to finding a life companion. I wish I could grant them their wish but in reality I don't know if I can bring myself to limit myself to who is fit to be mother for my children. I understand where they are coming from to some extent. After all our father side was considered once some sort of nobility in Vietnam at one point or another. My mother's side must have been an important figure to some respect to have such a marriage. A lot of family pride and pain courses through our veins. But for us brothers of black and gray, we can not help but chose our own fate just because we know its possible.
It was brought up by my grandparents in a short conversation that the eyes of both family have fallen on my brother and I. Our mother being the eldest daughter of a predominantly female household herald by my grandfather. While our farther is first son in predominately male household with my grandmother holding power over all. Naturally the two of us are the head of both families in the next generation, a position in which has been placed on hold. For my brother this is so to say a permanent delay so to speak, the family will be sadly mistaken if they think otherwise. They still ask him when he is going to chose a girlfriend as if denial of his true existence would turn him straight. As for me...I should be with an obedient Vietnamese Catholic girl who is beautiful of course, which was strongly emphasized by both heads of the families. Placing a cherry on top, something rather grim for Christmas, I was told their wish was for me to have children so they can die and be at peace finally because life has become a painful ordeal.
I was rather appalled by this subtle guilt trip to finding a life companion. I wish I could grant them their wish but in reality I don't know if I can bring myself to limit myself to who is fit to be mother for my children. I understand where they are coming from to some extent. After all our father side was considered once some sort of nobility in Vietnam at one point or another. My mother's side must have been an important figure to some respect to have such a marriage. A lot of family pride and pain courses through our veins. But for us brothers of black and gray, we can not help but chose our own fate just because we know its possible.