(no subject)
I'm disabling the comment to this journal because even though I love you guys soo much and they are appreciated, I really dont want to see comments that say 'I LOVE YOU RACHAEL' and 'I hope things get better soon!'. Because I know you love me. I love you too. And I know things will get better. They will. So I dont want to hear it.
I'm literally shaking right now. From rage. And generally being pissed off. And stress and worry and anxiety and a million other things. If I could just sit down and start crying right now I would. But I'm too pissed off to do that.
This drama--I'm sick of it.
I know that everyone has problems. I know that there will be things that wont go exactly as planned. I know that people will flake at the last minute and I know that all friendships will eventually end and I know that people say and do things to piss you off and I know that she's an attention whore and I know that you hate her and I know that he's a faggish basement-dweller and I know that she might break up with him and I know that he's only dating her as a rebound and I know that I need to finish this and this before this date and I know that I'm failing all my classes at school and I know that I need to practice if I want to keep tis temporary job that I have and I know that I'm apparently "skinny and perfect" and I know that I shouldn't be making this cosplay and I know I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and I know that I need somebody to tell all this shit to instead of bottling it up and exploding on the littlest thing. I know.
You may think it's flattering to me when you say that I'm skinny and perfect. You may think that you're giving me a compliment. But you arent. Bigger people arent the only people who have issures and insecurities with their weight. I hate when people compliment me about my weight. I hate when people compliment me in general. I'll smile and say thank you, I'll laugh and say it isn't a big deal, but really I hate it.
I just... whatever. I'm done. My emotions are so fucked up that I cant even think straight anymore. So I'm done.
I'm literally shaking right now. From rage. And generally being pissed off. And stress and worry and anxiety and a million other things. If I could just sit down and start crying right now I would. But I'm too pissed off to do that.
This drama--I'm sick of it.
I know that everyone has problems. I know that there will be things that wont go exactly as planned. I know that people will flake at the last minute and I know that all friendships will eventually end and I know that people say and do things to piss you off and I know that she's an attention whore and I know that you hate her and I know that he's a faggish basement-dweller and I know that she might break up with him and I know that he's only dating her as a rebound and I know that I need to finish this and this before this date and I know that I'm failing all my classes at school and I know that I need to practice if I want to keep tis temporary job that I have and I know that I'm apparently "skinny and perfect" and I know that I shouldn't be making this cosplay and I know I don't know what the fuck I'm doing and I know that I need somebody to tell all this shit to instead of bottling it up and exploding on the littlest thing. I know.
You may think it's flattering to me when you say that I'm skinny and perfect. You may think that you're giving me a compliment. But you arent. Bigger people arent the only people who have issures and insecurities with their weight. I hate when people compliment me about my weight. I hate when people compliment me in general. I'll smile and say thank you, I'll laugh and say it isn't a big deal, but really I hate it.
I just... whatever. I'm done. My emotions are so fucked up that I cant even think straight anymore. So I'm done.