Human Existence...
We're never content, are we?
I'm in another of those 'what if?' moods. Mainly, what if I'd chosen differently? I still miss Genevieve. I haven't talked to her. I'm scared it may reopen old wounds for her. And I'm scared that she'll reject me - she has every reason to.
It's weird because I haven't really thought about her in months, then, suddenly...last night I had a dream about her. And it was so VIVID, even though I never actually met Gena. And I hate it because I LOVE Robin. She's wonderful. And Robin still feels remorse for my decision - she feels as bad as, if not worse than, I do. For hurting Gena.
Mostly, I just miss that friendship I had with her. She was unique. Extremely unique. And so is Robin.
It sucks that I've met so many wonderful women, and I have to choose between them. Which one do I keep for life?
It sucks that I'm perfectly happy, and second-guessing myself.
But I go through these phases. I know that I'm lucky to have Robin. I KNOW that. And yet...occasionally, I wonder if there isn't more to be had. IS she the one for me? Or was I supposed to be with Gena? Was Robin just a distraction thrown my way... Eris' Golden Apple.
Or am I the apple? Or Paris, who has to choose between Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena...
Coming back to earth, however...
School is hectic. Demanding. As is trying to work as much as possible between classes.
Yesterday, I almost got kicked out of my Anthro class. Because I had my hand below the desk. The Professor has become so paranoid and anal about people having cell phones out that when he saw me staring at my notebook with one hand below the desk, he assumed cell phone. So he had me stand up and speak my name, made sure I didn't have a phone out.
Yeah. This guy's only getting cookier as the semester progresses. >_<
Next Tuesday, we're going to go sign a lease with a couple of friends. We're getting a three-bed, two-bath house for $450/month rent. It's gonna be great. Especially having a shower instead of having to take baths all the time.
Money's a little tight right now, but eh...not for much longer, I hope.
And today is Robin's birthday. It doesn't feel like it. At all. Mostly because we're working all weekend.
And that's about it for now. I'm getting back to work. X_X
I'm in another of those 'what if?' moods. Mainly, what if I'd chosen differently? I still miss Genevieve. I haven't talked to her. I'm scared it may reopen old wounds for her. And I'm scared that she'll reject me - she has every reason to.
It's weird because I haven't really thought about her in months, then, suddenly...last night I had a dream about her. And it was so VIVID, even though I never actually met Gena. And I hate it because I LOVE Robin. She's wonderful. And Robin still feels remorse for my decision - she feels as bad as, if not worse than, I do. For hurting Gena.
Mostly, I just miss that friendship I had with her. She was unique. Extremely unique. And so is Robin.
It sucks that I've met so many wonderful women, and I have to choose between them. Which one do I keep for life?
It sucks that I'm perfectly happy, and second-guessing myself.
But I go through these phases. I know that I'm lucky to have Robin. I KNOW that. And yet...occasionally, I wonder if there isn't more to be had. IS she the one for me? Or was I supposed to be with Gena? Was Robin just a distraction thrown my way... Eris' Golden Apple.
Or am I the apple? Or Paris, who has to choose between Hera, Aphrodite, and Athena...
Coming back to earth, however...
School is hectic. Demanding. As is trying to work as much as possible between classes.
Yesterday, I almost got kicked out of my Anthro class. Because I had my hand below the desk. The Professor has become so paranoid and anal about people having cell phones out that when he saw me staring at my notebook with one hand below the desk, he assumed cell phone. So he had me stand up and speak my name, made sure I didn't have a phone out.
Yeah. This guy's only getting cookier as the semester progresses. >_<
Next Tuesday, we're going to go sign a lease with a couple of friends. We're getting a three-bed, two-bath house for $450/month rent. It's gonna be great. Especially having a shower instead of having to take baths all the time.
Money's a little tight right now, but eh...not for much longer, I hope.
And today is Robin's birthday. It doesn't feel like it. At all. Mostly because we're working all weekend.
And that's about it for now. I'm getting back to work. X_X